I don't know what I'm doing with my life

[magicshoes1998]

Hi, my name is Dawson, I'm 19 years old and I go back to college here in a couple weeks. I'm a really personable kind of guy, I relate to people and I can make good friends with almost anyone I meet. People see on the outside that I'm an upbeat, muscular, outgoing person, but deep down I have a really low self esteem, I'm terribly awkward, and I have no motivation to do much of anything. I'm glad I've started working out again, it takes my mind off of things I usually keep bringing up from the past, but other than that, I just now realized that I was late in turning in my exam and a couple other assignments for the one summer class I need to do in order to keep all my scholarships, which cost 700 dollars out of my hard-earned money and only has a a total of 9 grades, which I just got a 0 in three of them. I'm currently studying biology out of WVU Tech in Beckley, WV in hopes of pursuing a pharmacy degree from WVU in the future. My self-esteem and lack of motivation have always been my greatest enemies, idk how to get around it. Every time I get hit by a truck with something like this, I sit back and get really upset about it, knowing that I screwed myself. I don't know what to do, I feel like I dug myself a hole and I don't know how to get myself out of it. Right now I feel like I keep making that hole deeper. If anybody could help me I would greatly appreciate it

[kwiderman]

Hey!

College is hard, but also a learning experience! It sounds like you’ve learned what not to do, so buckling down and focusing on your work should be a priority now. I’m not the type of person to throw medication at things, but if you think you’re concentration problem could be ADD or ADHD, I would see your primary care doctor. I knew a lot of people in college that legitimately needed something to help them focus and there’s no shame in that!

It sounds like you do know what you want to do with your life, you just need some guidance to get there. I would recommend setting up an appointment with your school counselor and make sure you’re on track to meet your goals. I met with mine all the time and it gave me a lot of peace of mind!

Good luck!!

[magicshoes1998 in reply to kwiderman]

Hey kwiderman, thank you so much for the response. Maybe medication is what I need, after all I did get "class scatterbrain" my senior year of high school. You've got a good point, I need to get my head out of my rear end and I need to buckle down, but I feel like I really screwed the pooch this time, I wasted my scholarships as well as all the time and money I previously put into this class. I might have to apply for loans, despite how much I don't want to.

[kwiderman in reply to magicshoes1998]

At least you don’t have to pay them back until after your graduate. My first 2-3 years out of school I lived very cheaply, and was able to pay off the loans quickly. You can do it!!

[Hidden in reply to kwiderman]

Agreed! These days a lot of them are really easygoing & give you plenty of time for a grace period to get our finances together! At least where I’m from!

[magicshoes1998 in reply to Hidden]

Grace periods are kind of unknown thing with the school I go to 😅 thank you guys for your support, it means a lot

[Hidden]

Hey Dawson, awww that makes me think of Dawson’s Creek. Hehe! Anyways! You seem really mature for your age. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time right now. Working out is always a good thing to do. It releases endorphins that cause us to be happy! Don’t beat yourself up too much about slacking a little in college, I actually skipped a lot of my first & second semester of college to party (don’t judge me! lol) & I still made it through! You can do this! We’re all a supportive group of people on this site, so feel free to reach out to any one of us to chat! We have each other’s backs! <3

[magicshoes1998 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! 😄

[magicshoes1998 in reply to Hidden]

And a lot of people say that 😂 I've never actually watched the show 😂 I guess it's just a bump in the road, unfortunate things can happen. If I had one wish for anything in the world, I would wish that in society we didn't have to make up and decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives at the age of 18

[Hidden in reply to magicshoes1998]

I absolutely agree with you on that one. I’ve changed my mind plenty of times, & I am actually going back to school now to work on my masters for my minor at 26, so I know what you mean. Take your time & don’t be so hard on yourself. None of us have high self esteem all of the time. It doesn’t mean you’re weird or awkward. You’re just still growing. I’m not gonna say you need medication, because maybe you don’t. If you think it’s something worth checking into, that’s fine too. Nothing wrong with that. You’ll figure it out. Oh, & Dawson’s Creek is definitely a girlie drama so I’m sure you haven’t watched it ha. It was a compliment regardless! Good luck to you, buddy! You’ve got this! <3