At my limit

[RenYellow]

I feel like everyone is always telling me to put myself out there, face my fears, and get over my anxiety about things by pushing through, but i feel like that approach makes everything worse. I feel like every time i put myself out there i regret it and end up lamenting over everything i said or did that was embarrassing because for some reason i can’t act like a normal human being.

It feels like every time i leave my house its one bad thing after another. Like every small inconvenience you could think of happens to me. Then when i try to tell myself that it was just one bad day and that things will be better tomorrow, its always somehow worse. Then a bad day turns into a bad week and a bad week turns into a bad month. And the only reason i keep trying is because people tell me it’ll get better and that if i try a little harder i’ll be able to make friends and be happy with myself. but no matter how much optimism or self improvement in therapy i try nothing ever gets better.

I feel like nothing i’m doing is helping and most days i don’t even wanna leave the house because i know that no matter what i do or how hard i try i mess up every time. And it feels like the universe almost rewards me when i isolate and dont leave the house because thats when i’m happiest, where nothing can hurt me and i cant mess up, say the wrong thing, or embarrass myself.

I’m trying so hard not to fall back into old habits but i don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to help myself and i feel like i’m at my breaking point.

[Roxylox]

I have been in that place many times.Am brilliant at embarassing myself.I would find it hard to go for a walk without my dog.

Could you join a group with common interests?

[cbgrace1980]

I am sorry you are going through this. Please make sure your doctor knows exactly how you are feeling. We are here for you anytime you need to vent!

[designguy]

It sounds like what you are really dealing with is social anxiety disorder and low-self-esteem. I suggest you try to find a therapist who specializes in treating social anxiety, if there isn't one near you, you might see about an online course. I did one from the socialanxietyinstitute.org which really helped me although I would have preferred an in person therapy program. I also found the DARE Anxiety book and youtube videos great for learning to accept the anxious thoughts and feelings and I really like their phone app.

You can definitely heal and recover from social anxiety but you have to make the commitment to get help and start.

[catch_the_music]

Is there a sport or hobby you like doing? You can talk to people there about the sport or hobby. Takes the pressure off. I like to pray and ask for God's help to relieve anxiety - and give me grace when things don't turn out well. Hope that helps. God Bless!

[Blueruth]

I suggest brene browns first book. I remind myself sometimes…if it isn’t working do something different. In your case two things are not working…isolation and putting yourself out there. How would it be to try something in the middle? Maybe you are just biting off more than you can chew.

Consider an analogy…An athlete with an injury doesn’t just go from 0 to 60. They also don’t sit around until that injury is completely healed. What they do it exercise the parts that aren’t injured and then gradually work in the part that is healing. Usually it heals faster if you slowly increase the exercise.