Lonely and sad

This website means a lot to me, even if it can seem like misery on parade. I feel too damn hopeless and helpless. I try to help other people on here and I'm struggling myself. I need desperately to get a job. I don't want to do online work, I'm not very well versed in computers, everything is all this technology that I don't know. I have some college behind me but I don't have a degree. I am close to tears. I'm turning 50 in August and I feel fucking pathetic.

[brokenlight]

❤️

[3crazydogs]

Hi there...the subject of your message resonated with me. Hope today is a better day for you?! I too am lonely and sad, I want to say it is because of the pandemic and not being able do the things... but who knows anymore.. lol.

[Hidden in reply to 3crazydogs]

I'm so afraid to even try to get a job. I just always feel like I'm going to be rejected. I know it's a bad mind set to have. I have severe problems with depression and anxiety and I get too emotional. I feel like I might never work again. I admire Madonna, I wish I had guts the way she does.

[Cobalt1993]

So very sorry to hear you're in this place. I would suggest looking into some computer training courses online, but personal experience has taught me it sure is tough to motivate yourself to learn something new when you're feeling hopeless. Maybe consider taking a volunteer job to get out and among people and once you feel productive you can get back to productively job searching. Research shows helping others is a great way to start feeling better.

[Hidden in reply to Cobalt1993]

Thank you for caring. Well, recently I applied at a morning and lunch cafe. It was last week. I know I need to make a phone call to follow up the application and I have so much fear and anxiety, I feel terrified to do it!!! I'm on disability too and they are going to find that out and I just feel like I have so much against me. Im so emotional and sensitive sometimes and this shouldn't be a difficult job to do, I can at least bus tables, wash dishes. I just don't like when people think you're too slow and want you to work faster. I know I'm shooting myself in the foot. I can't get myself to call. I really need to call them tomorrow. I've been through a lot of shit with the mental health system, sometimes I feel like my home should be a psyche ward. Anything anyone can say to help me have some guts to just call the place and try to get an interview.....and that's the other thing, I hate job interviews. I've been rejected before. I wish I had more confidence.