CoDependent & lost

[Freedom57]

Anyone else on this site feel empty inside like you have a big hole or void that you can’t fill

I left my spouse (of 2 years) who has a lot of Narcissistic traits, including empty promises, lies, manipulation etc.

I had so much anxiety the last 6 months I was with him and became physically ill

Now as I look back, I think what I had( a second rate life) was better than the loneliness I feel now.

He has a big house & rented a room to a woman I met two weeks ago while picking up my car he fixed for me. (He wasn’t there)

I’m having difficulty moving forward & feel jealous he’s moved on.

How do I create a new life at 57 years old? I have chronic medical conditions that cause pain. I moved to a new area & don’t have friends where I live.

My 30 year old daughter has been living with me since May & just told me she’s leaving to live with my sister because she needs to study for 7 exams & can’t do this very well with me.

I know a big reason is because I struggle with Depression & Anxiety

I feel like such a loser & carry so much emotional pain

[Hidden]

I don't know what I can write to make you feel better. I know divorce is like witnessing a death. It's the death of a marriage. I'm about to turn 50 and I recently left someone I was with for 20 years. I didn't want a future with him. He wasn't a narcissist but we had issues and we were always struggling for money. I was tired of constant arguments, not wanting sex at all, and I just felt like I want a better life than this. I'm in limbo myself. Look, you're not dead yet and you don't know what the future may hold. There are a lot of other lonely people out there-just look at all the people on here. You have to believe you will find your way. I'm scared myself, I don't even have a job these days. However, if I stayed with my ex than I wouldn't be making any space to let someone new into my life. Eventually this pandemic will end, everyone is really stressed out right now. Believe that you will rise like a phoenix from the ashes. Believe in yourself. Make an effort to connect with others, even if it's just online. For me right now just having some good friends is more important to me than being in a relationship. Be kind to yourself. I'm telling myself I'm not waiting around for some man to figure out what I want and need. I'm buying myself flowers and I'm confident that I can help myself. I hope something I said helps you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I love this reply. Extremely genuine.

[Freedom57 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for caring enough to share your experiences with me. I’m trying hard to release my fears & build more faith in myself & believe I will create a better future. (I’m proud of myself that I had the strength to leave)

I’m going to rewrite what you wrote & post it so I can read it every day!

[Hidden in reply to Freedom57]

Thank you!!!! And you know something, feel good that you had the strength to leave, no matter what anyone else says!!!! I get really down on myself sometimes too, I'm actually living with my elderly parents these days and it's not easy, but I'm glad I'm done with my ex. I don't stay in touch with him. He tries to text me or email me sometimes and I know we both have to move on. If you'd like to send me a private message on here and chat with me I'd love that, I'm damn lonely myself. Take care!!!!☺

[tennisgreen]

I think I understand,I had to start over,after16 yrs in a city I def do not like I’m 48.,my partner ended it.Im still looking for a place to live..living with elderly parents only because I had nowhere else to go.I have medical condition(seizures),not to many places have wanted to rent to me😡I only know one friend,just very lonely even more so with this virus everything shut down..makes it very hard.

You need to talk text anytime.

[TailWags]

im 57 too. No husband, no ex husband no kids. I have seen people in bad marriages. I would rather be alone than be in a bad relationship. It takes some getting used to at first but it does get better. Took me many years to really get over a significant relationship.years ago. Then someone showed me some stuff they found on line about him. I am so glad i am not with him. He has a big house, wife and kids, but a stupid haircut and he seems to be on the other side of the political spectrum. I no longer have to deal with his short temper, him eating balogna and butter sanwiches , his crabbiness if he gets injured, or him rarely wanting to go for a walk or even outside or him sleeping the weekend away. Or not enjoying something just because i worry he doesnt. I can have whatever i want in my house, go outside when i want, have.people move in if i want, eat the food i want, spend my money like i want, all without worrying about what he wants. There are worse things than being alone.

[Smokeybandit50]

I'm sorry to hear how you feel narcissists drag you downx destroy your confidence I was married to one years agox just remember he had problems not you you deserve better

[Tsmtam123]

I don't know what to say, but sorry! I am going through the same as we speak after 26yrs of marriage he seems to have changed 2yrs ago for the worsted. Classic narcissism