Dealing with Regrets

[faulhallen]

So I’ve been trying to find time to write a post about dealing with regrets and trying to change my perspective for a couple weeks now. Life has been hectic for me as I said in my last post and every time I make it back to my draft I don’t like it or some detail has changed so hopefully I can finish this one satisfactorily.

So in my life I’ve had a lot of regrets. I’ve wondered constantly what life would be like if I had chosen to do things differently. Different college, more focused on finding an actual career early on in life, different choices in relationships, etc.

The kind of thing everyone thinks about, just maybe not as much as I have in the last 10 years. There are a seemingly infinite number of ways I could have approached things differently and in theory my life would be better than it is right now.

... but thinking about it is pointless and just serves to hurt me and force me to dwell on my problems and worsen my depression.

I’ve come to a decision. I’m not going to regret things anymore (or at the very least do my best to avoid doing so).

It’s easy to look back on life and say that you should have done this or you should have done that but in reality you’re only hurting yourself. Imagine a time when you made a decision you regretted later. Did you really make your decision because you thought it was the WRONG thing to do at the time???

I’m not talking about risks and taking chances or even childish mistakes, I’m talking about consciously making a decision because you thought it was the wrong thing to do. Everything in life has risks. You might get hurt, you might break up, you might not be able to find a job, etc. but how often have you done the wrong thing on purpose?

They say hindsight is 20/20 and that’s true but looking at your past and beating yourself up over your decisions isn’t helping. I was thinking about it and I realized that if I was put in the same positions again with the same experiences, knowledge, and resources I would probably do everything the same way.

Because that’s the thing that we lose sight of. It’s not about what we know now, it’s about what we knew and were capable of at the time. At the time we might have taken some risks but we ultimately decided to do what we thought was best. Maybe for ourselves, maybe for our children or another loved one, but you did what you did because you thought it was best thing to do at the time.

Try not to dwell on the what if’s in life. Remember that you did the best you could with what you had and focus on continuing to do the same.

I hope everyone is doing well. I’ll start reading more people’s posts again if I ever have time but I’ve barely even been able to find time to respond to messages over the weekend. Until then I truly hope everyone is doing well and slowly and steadily working towards being better 🙂

[TheGirlWithGlasses]

I like your view on regrets, have a good day

[mitch404]

I think your message is written with a great deal of thought and sensitivity. Good luck and hope you go from strength to strength.

[AZ1970]

You have gained a lot of wisdom. You are right, we make the best decision based on what we know at the time. We cannot hold ourselves accountable for what we hadn't yet learned. I am glad you are gaining peace in this area. Thank you for sharing. I too live with regrets in regards to my kids. But I have to remember I was a single parent raising a very complex child with autism and mental health issues. My son did not always get the attention he needed. I did the best I could.

[Hidden]

Great post! I never live life with regrets!

[Jane_Doe2018]

Hi faulhallen, I hope you are doing well. I really like your post. I struggle with regret, however, reading this has helped change my perception in a positive way. Thank you 😊