Don't know how to feel.

[Invisible2all]

My estranged brother died very suddenly from liver cancer. He was cruel to me growing up and as an adult chose to stand by my cheating, alcoholic ex-husband instead of me and my daughters. I feel relieved that he is gone, but also guilty for feeling that way. I am also grieving for what could have or should have been. I don't know why he hated me, and feel raw and depressed, especially with all the ugliness and uncertainty now in the world. Any advice?

[jocorod]

We all meet ugly people in our lifetime, if your brother was cruel to you that was he’s choice not yours! You should just move on forward because he’s already Gone. You should try to be a better person everyday be kind to the people who really love you.

[Hidden]

We dont always know why people are the way they are. If he was cruel to you it's normal to feel relief that you wont have to deal with that cruelty anymore. At the same time you probably wanted to have a better relationship but that is life. Things can get messy and ugly. Maybe he had something wrong with him that made him so cruel, maybe he had an undiagnosed disease that affected him mentally. So it's also normal to feel some sympathy because he was human too.

[Hidden]

Brother I get a nice side and very nasty side - very crafty and money orientated prefer to avoid but in front of parents try to get on with Some people are not naturally caring no matter how they pretend to be same with family neglectful and unloving

[Freedom57]

Sorry you’re having a difficult time with your grief, I encourage you to feel all your feelings.

Sounds like your brother had a lot of issues he was dealing with inwardly that most likely had nothing to do with you yet you were a target for him to inflict his pain on.

Engage in activities that help you love yourself more. I hope you can be kind and gentle with yourself during this difficult time, ❤️