I don't know anymore

[Greene1]

I don't know what to do anymore. My whole life is crashing down around me and I can't make it stop. My husband wants a divorce, my kids are suffering, I feel like I've lost everything. My husband had a life threatening injury the first of the year. I've been here taking care of him, taking him everywhere he needs to be, I've been the sole financial provider through it all. Now that he's finally getting a little better, he has no further use for me. I don't understand what I did that was so wrong. I've never cheated, never been violent, sure, I've told a white lie here or there, but who hasn't? I wish someone would tell me what my kids and I did to deserve this. Why does he hate me?

[gajh]

You didn't do anything wrong. It is not about you, it is about him. You do not deserve this.

[Vonus5591]

do you have family. Brother or sister that can support or friend?

[Greene1 in reply to Vonus5591]

I'm currently staying with my parents, but they've put a time limit on how long I can be here. I don't have anyone else.

[Vonus5591 in reply to Greene1]

Take the time to plan everything. Where you and kids can start your life and choose your neighbours wisely

Think selfishly your needs and kids and not husband’s needs

[Midori in reply to Vonus5591]

I agree with Vonus, put yourself and your children first.

I don't know if your husband is pushing you away to protect you, or whether the accident has affected him more seriously that you realise. If you can't talk to him or if he's making life together intolerable, you need to put the needs of the children first. Seeing their parents argue and fight can teach the young that this is the correct way to act towards another person, and cause them to act in the same way when they grow up.

Cut your losses and protect the children.

Cheers, Midori

[Agora1]

Greene1 as gajh stated, you did nothing wrong. This can happen when people go through

a life changing event such as your husband did. The fact that your husband had a

life threatening injury may have wakened him up to "life is short", "life can change on a

dime". Within that period of recovery, he may have had a change of heart as to where he

is going in life. Unspoken dreams or goals that he wanted to attain.

Selfish?? Yes because he threw his marriage vows and family aside and wants freedom

now. I would suggest couple counseling, single counseling and/or talking with an attorney

in who does marriage repairs. It doesn't have to be a divorce unless there is someone

else involved. Tread lightly and carefully for the sake of you and the children. Don't allow

his midlife crisis or mortality awareness throw everything you both had to the curb.

Right now Greene1, think with your brain and not your heart. Wishing you a peaceful

solution. xx

[Greene1 in reply to Agora1]

I don't know how to tell the difference between what my heart says and what my brain says.. they both say I want my family. Do I just let him go completely? Or do I support him through his "midlife crisis" and hope in the end he wants me again? Do I keep fighting for my family or do I just walk away?

[Agora1 in reply to Greene1]

Greene1, of course we always want to keep the family together.

Getting professional help in taking this journey will help you make the right

decisions. But only you in the end, can decide what's right. xx

[Agora1]

Beautiful response Austinmike xx

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry - that sounds very stressful.

[Greene1]

Thank you to all for the kind words. I appreciate them more than I can say..

[Midori]

Brilliant response!

Cheers, Midori