Obsessive

[Pizzaparty]

I hate how emotional i am, I don’t want to feel the way i feel most times or obsess over the things i cannot control but my emotions always get the best of me , i often feel a sense of neglect from those around me ( see feel not that it is necessarily true , but it is true in my head ) but I won’t reach out to those around me because I don’t want to annoy anyone or come off as clingy so i stay in this vicious cycle of irrational thougt

[kvolm2016]

I'm sorry this has become a burden for you. Some people are naturally more emotional/more sensitive emotionally than others. But it sounds like you are saying that your emotions seem to be controlling you instead of you having self-control over your emotions. Is that what you are feeling?

[Pizzaparty in reply to kvolm2016]

Yes I haven’t been able to think straight for a few weeks now , my feelings have definitely gotten the best of me and i just want it to stop

[kvolm2016 in reply to Pizzaparty]

Have you experienced this before with having the obsessive feelings? And are the obsessive feelings related to specific things or do they seem to apply to everything lately?

[Pizzaparty in reply to kvolm2016]

Yes I’ve experienced them before but it’s been awhile since they’ve been this intense , I recently just confessed a crush to a friend and I’ve been embarrassed ever since

Although the friend claims that they aren’t bothered by my feelings and that it won’t jeopardize the friendship , i feel as though i shouldn’t have shared this part of my feelings simply because now my interactions with this friend will torture me

Im already being mentally tortured because we seemed to have been distant even before this confession and now in my mind i feel as though I’ve lost my best friend and idk how to make these feelings go away

[kvolm2016 in reply to Pizzaparty]

So it sounds like you are regretting your decision to share your feelings and now that has unleashed the negative and obsessive feelings about yourself. And believe me we all have things that we regret saying or sharing or doing so maybe what is more important than the initial action is what we do after that makes it better or worse. Would it help to bring the conversation up again with your friend to let them know that you are still embarrassed about sharing your feelings and that you want to make sure that both of you can just accept that it was an awkward moment and that you can still be friends? Maybe reaffirming your desire to just be friends will help both of you feel better about it.

[Pizzaparty in reply to kvolm2016]

I did bring it up again the last time we talked and it was somewhat reassuring but it’s as if the friend really didn’t have a lot to say in the midst of all of that so it still left me uneasy

The friend feels so distant and I can’t bring myself to reach out because I don’t know how to be normal rn im an emotional wreck

[kvolm2016 in reply to Pizzaparty]

Would it be any easier if you tried to express yourself in a text/DM instead of trying to talk about it until you get more comfortable again?

[Pizzaparty in reply to kvolm2016]

Perhaps maybe yes,

I do hope I speak with the friend soon , and that perhaps i regain the confidence to speak to them without feeling awkward,I’m too embarrassed to acknowledge this person right now

[kvolm2016 in reply to Pizzaparty]

I hope you will find the courage to set aside the embarrassment and take the step to connect with them. Everyone says and does things which don't turn out as we hoped and I bet your friend will understand that.