Struggling

[BrownEyesBlue]

Ive been struggling a lot lately with my depression and anxiety. My anxiety is in overdrive. I feel paranoid and consumed with what other people are thinking and “what if” scenarios.

I currently have no income. And I won’t for this month. I start a new job at the end of the month. The only downside is it’s with people, one woman in particular, that I do not want to be around. I’ll do my job and keep to myself but I don’t know if she’d be able to do the same. My minds in overdrive and I’m panicking just thinking about it. I don’t have any other options other than to take this job.

I feel like a baby. I feel like I don’t have anyone to depend on. I feel like even my family doesn’t want me around or have anything to do with me. I’m so sad. I feel like I don’t have any friends. I feel so alone. And at the lowest points, I wish I didn’t exist anymore.

It’s really hard sometimes. I don’t know how to handle this situation. I always feel like such an outsider.

[EnolaSeule]

If you take the job how closely do you have to work with that person? Can you look for other jobs in the meantime?

There is often at least one difficult person in a work setting, unfortunately. If the work is otherwise ok, perhaps you can figure out how to deal with them.

I’m sorry you feel bad, fellow outsider!

[kspeidell]

This sounds like a rough situation, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. Though I’m glad you will be getting income! I personally deal with things in a very similar way that you do and It can be quite crippling in fact, always thinking of the worst scenarios for every situation. I agree with other posts saying you should keep the job as well as look for other options when you can. That actually is a very good position to be in because you still will have income. Sometimes the toughest thing about this is dealing with others, especially those that make it harder for us to get by. Avoidance is definitely the best bet, as hopefully they will get the hint and keep to themselves.

[FeralFriend]

I have sometimes found out after awhile that people I didn’t like, I ended up liking and found that we had many things in common. Find something you have in common with them and that could form a good work friendship.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to FeralFriend]

It simply won’t work. It’s a complicated situation.

[mvillarreal]

BrownEyesBlue Is there a particular reason you don't want to be around this individual? Like is she rude to you? Is she the main thing that's worrying you right now?

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to mvillarreal]

She is the main thing worrying me. There was a time I didn’t mind being around this person. But she is extremely manipulative and fake. She did home care for my father and continually asked for time off. I made a post about this earlier. When confronted about taking time off, instead of addressing the situation and taking responsibility, she involved other members of my family who have since turned away from me.

It’s a difficult situation.

[mvillarreal in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

I'm sorry to hear that. Is there a way you could confront her about this? Maybe if you get to the bottom of the issue, the energy will be less comfortable around her?

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to mvillarreal]

I’d rather not have any interaction with her at all. She’s toxic and loves drama.

[mvillarreal in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

Is there anything you think would help her presence be less bothersome to you?

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to mvillarreal]

She’s only there for a short period of time. I’m going to do my best to avoid her. Both her and my sister are confrontational and I’m scared of what they might say/do.

[mvillarreal in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

BrownEyesBlue I'm sorry they are making your life difficult. I would just try to remember that it is only for a short period of time, and then it will be over. Also, please remember that what they say/do reflects more on them than it does on you. If they're toxic people in general, then I would say, don't take anything they say/do personally.

[cbgrace1980]

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Have you thought about talking with a counselor? They can help tremendously with depression and anxiety. I know when I have suffered the most, my counselor has given me tools to cope. Hugs to you.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to cbgrace1980]

I have a counsellor 🙂 Thank you!