I can’t keep suffering like this. How do people get through? I just keep thinking it would be nice to take all the pills I have but immediately my love for my kids and my fear of hurting them stop me.
I asked my psychiatrist if I could increase one or two of my meds. Haven’t heard back from him yet.
In the meantime I’ll be reading The Body Keeps The Score on PTSD and I’m doing the workbook that goes with it.
I need someone with me. I’m afraid.
Stay the path you’re on. We need to.
We do. Ok I feel bad about being morbid and I don’t even know why I’m feeling this way. It’s disturbing.
Sorry you're having a bad day.
If all the pills are looking too good please dial 911 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline wherever you are located: There is usually a local number in most urban areas.
Please know we all have bad days and good days. Today is good for me; however, yesterday was difficult.
I don't know you or your situation; however, I do know suffering is universal. We suffer because we resist or cling to that which we have. And we know these things are transient, so we suffer. We know happiness is not permanent so we suffer. We resist anxiety even though we know it won't last so we suffer. It's part of the human condition.
What makes the human condition tolerable to me is love. Not the love that I have for my partner or friends or children or those who care for me. That love is conditional. I'm writing about the Love that cares even when that caring isn't returned. Love of kindness and thankfulness for simply existing. Love that experiences joy in other peoples triumphs. Love that defines compassion for ourselves and what we are going through in life. Love that has the courage to care for ourselves above all else. This Love never fails. And Love, like anything, can be developed and fostered in our self.
Love isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
The only way I've found to get through the suffering is to actually 'go through' the suffering. If I'm experiencing nausea from anxiety I relax, face the experience, break it down into it's sub-components and realize I'm not dealing with anything catastrophic. Nausea can end up being tightness, trembling, hardness, stretching and more in the abdominal area. None of those symptoms are earth shattering in and of themselves. It's almost a 'divide and conquer' approach with me.
For me 'The Body Keeps Score' would not help: it would only keep me focused on my feelings. By maintaining focus on my feelings I actually prolong what I'm trying to avoid. My approach would be to do something that doesn't entail introspection.
Perhaps baking cookies. I like cookies.
That is just my take.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ thank you... be well
P.s. your writing of love is beautiful
Very interesting points, Pugglesworth.
I've always believed that love is the answer to most of life's challenges.
Add hope and we have an anchor.
I'm 80 years young and realize life is short, but my faith is in promises from
a lofty Source. As trustworthy as the sun which warms me and moon which
guides my feet on a narrow path. I count my blessings along with the stars.
The Source of creation (all life) has created, and can re-create. Therefore, there should be no fear of death.
Life is short, yet can be filled with joy when we have peace of mind and heart.
This life is not the end of the story.
Perhaps we can dig for more gems soon. 
Agape
I’m sinking further and I can’t go to crisis care the last time I went I got worse. I’m waiting to hear from my therapist and psychiatrist. But I don’t trust things will get better.
I feel your pain i struggle everyday and it gets to a point where pisses me will I ever be normal again but just know that other people are just like you and that you’re not alone try to see that your family needs you please take care of yourself
I don’t know how anyone deals with such suffering and stays able to take care of themselves and others... I have no choice... at the same time as I care for those I love I wish I were to be gone soon because just knowing I could go soon would give relief ... it’s just too much for me to handle... I can’t tell my family but I did contact my therapist and psychiatrist
Dear little Soul,
You've been struggling so long & my heart aches to hear your pleas.
I note you're always ready to help others in their struggles & therein lies
the secret to happiness. There's more happiness in giving than receiving.
Haven't you noticed a measure of relief (even if fleeting)
When you give to your children it's a joy, of course. But giving to anyone,
as you do increases happiness. And it becomes a way of life.
Sometimes we can be so exhausted physically & emotionally we may have
to incite ourselves to show kindness & love. We may do so even with tears.
But we always reap rich rewards.
At this point, you do need to love yourself & accept love from others as well.
Appeciate the Source of Love. Communicate on a daily basis.
Find your answers... in prayers, Star
❤️
You will get through it Star. You have so much still to give and to gain from life.
Love
Kim
❤️
I feel just like you star I feel im never gonna get better I've tried several attempts on my life but I can't go through it because of my kids and I'm scared to die I know it's weird how I feel because I have so much health anxiety and the every day feeling of Doom . I feel like something is gonna happen to me or my kids or my family . It get so much anxiety I end up in the hospital. Feeling like I'm having a heart attack but they always say everything is ok with me it's just heartburns and anxiety . I go home ok for awhile then boom another attack it's a constant roller coaster I feel fine for awhile then boom a panic attack. I just want to get off the roller coaster I took medicine it made feel worser so I have nothing to take to help me. I go for walks i feel so much better when I'm outside but soon as I'm in my house I feel it again I try to keep my self busy but didn't work. So I don't know what else to do i know I'm driving my kids crazy with my attacks my oldest tries to calm me down but I feel more arriated when he does that I panicked more only thing that helps is just sit there and let it be and just cry and do breathing exercises. Sometimes helps or I take my Xanax but I don't like taking them cause I fall asleep and feel groggy all day. I hope you can get through this if you ever wanna just talk I'm here
Today I hate myself. Today I gave it my all and that failed me. I’m done. I wish I could have an accident but we have to be here for our kids, our beautiful angels need us.
Hello Starrlight, I'm sorry for all that you're going through and I hope you hang on. I struggled for a long time trying to find the right moment to ask for help. Life was so busy, it didn't slow down enough for me to seek help...and then I couldn't go on, my health was giving out, my relationships were suffering and I wasn't myself, I was suffering and wasn't sure I could take it anymore. I found myself wishing for an accident so technically I wouldn't be taking my life...that's when I decided to ask for help. I created a group text with the people I trusted and asked for their help, not for me but for my family. After taking care of a few things, my mother-in-law came and drove me to the hospital. It took a while, but the ER staff were very compassionate and helpful. The place I went to for inpatient treatment was helpful in the sense that I had time to focus on myself and my wellbeing. I had time for the drs to adjust my meds. I went to an outpatient program afterwards and they changed meds and adjusted dosages. It took time and different types of therapies, it took me being honest with myself, my partner and my kiddos. But it was worth it. I'm not saying the struggle ends, because I still have depression and anxiety. I'm just saying that it does get better. If you can't get the help you need from your psychiatrist or therapist, then go to the ER, get help because you're worth it. Because your life has meaning. Because you are strong, even when you feel broken. Because life goes on with or without you and those you love still need you. You're vulnerable. Seek help and accept it. I did and I'm I'm forever grateful, even in the moments that I still struggle.
Hi Phoenix I’ve been in hospitals and just finished trying out a crisis care which only made me worse off.
A hopeful thing is that I should be getting a new med, Paxil, in the mail any time. I tried it before and it helped me but I went off because I gained like 40 lbs. But you know what I’m exercising eating right and I think I need to just give that another shot. That’s my hope. If it doesn’t work I feel it’s the end. I’ll feel so defeated.
I had been on Celexa, then they gave me something to help with sleep and buspar for anxiety. I felt like an irritable zombie for 2 weeks then they took me off of the sleep med, I think it was trazodone, and celexa, lowered buspar and gave me zoloft. I started to feel a difference within a week. I'm still doing therapy, right now its monthly and checking in with my psychiatrist every 3 months. I'm also using apps - calm, whil and silvercloud. The thing that has helped me the most if being able to talk to people about it. I talk to my spouse about it. We went through couple's counseling and I found that he had wanted to be supportive but I wasn't giving him the opportunity, I was just so focused on getting things done and taking care of everything that when I asked him for help and he didn't do what I wanted right away, I became angry and resentful. Now I tell him how I feel, even if I don't know how I feel, I just tell him what I want him to do whether its give me space or hold me while I cry...its improved our relationship for sure. I've also learned to let the kids be more independent and responsible for themselves in many ways. I don't feel so overwhelmed anymore. I still feel heavy and antsy at times, but it's no where near what it was. Having people to talk to has definitely been a lifesaver. I even called the local crisis line a few times and even though I didn't feel like they understood me, they listened and tried to provide resources. Its good that you're reaching out. You are trying and that shows that you haven't given up yet. It is hard, it is painful, it is frustrating, it is overwhelming but it will get better. It will cycle and you will make it through the moments.
It’s good now you tell your husband how you feel. Yes me too, letting my kids be more independent.
I hope your medicine works for you I pray it does . I wish I could take medicine I feel it makes me feel worser. Maybe I'm just not giving it time I'm just to scared to take medicine with a lot side effects. Please let me know how it goes with the medicine. Take care .
A lot of us feel that way ... yeah... I’ll let you know how the Paxil goes... remind me and I’ll tell you. It hasn’t been delivered yet.
Hi again purple your struggles are so similar to mine... I wish you all good things... I think we will find our way, I really do, you are amazing and thanks for being here, I’m here for you too! Any time!
Ah thank you and same for you
It is so hard when we just want to pain to go away and there isn't an immediate fix. Stay strong my sweet friend. You know you will feel better in time. It is frustrating to go through depression, but you know each episode is temporal. Try to keep your focus on your blessings, have a list to look at when you are struggling; remind yourself this isn't who you are it is a just something you go through from time to time. Try to remind yourself when you feel well, how it feels, and stay focused on that. I don't know if I shared this app with you before. It was actually designed for post military personnel, but it works for anyone struggling with thoughts, anxiety and depression. It is called CBT-icoach apple.co/3eCJrVP and it really works with re-directing your thoughts and letting go of the negative ones. I will be praying for you. Remember you are not alone and we are here for you. Hugs and God Bless
Thank you soooo!
I know exactly how you feel...I got through it with friends and therapy!! There is hope! I got through it I know you can to!! Have hope and faith!! You can do it!!
Thank you 🙏 😊
I’ve used this number to talk to someone before ❤️ suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Thank you ❤️ I’m a bit hopeful because I’m going to be taking Paxil which worked in the past (I went off it because of weight gain). So hopefully soon I’ll be a fat happy mama! 😂
haha yessssss
😊 how are you doing? Hope all is well!
Thanks! Well, I’m pretty anxious about an assignment I have to do for work...
I’ve been basically stressing about it for 2 weeks and have made a little progress but not much. Seems I spend more time stressing than completing it. ❤️
I’m sorry I really hope your work becomes easier for you. I hate this day I’m already In agony anxious as hell stressed over online school which won’t happen for a few months. Let’s try to stay in the present,one thing at a time, and give ourselves compassion.
Just cant figure out what to do, just looking for people to talk with
What Do You Do When You Can't Tell Anyone What You Found Out?
What do you want in life.
Just wanted to let it out
Idk what to do anymore..
