I feel like I’ve let everyone down , because I’m depressed anxious all the time . I wish I could make my dad and step mom proud , but how can I when I barely have the motivation to do anything . It’s so hard to get out of bed . I get severe anxiety when I shower and have to get out. Whys life this way for me ? Why can’t I be happy ? Why can’t I enjoy what others enjoy . Why can’t I hang out with my family without being antisocial and getting anxious. I feel that I’m slowly fading away with my thoughts , they come and take over . I try to tell myself hey I’ll deal with those thoughts later but that doesn’t seem to work. I feel helpless ... the only thing that makes me wanna live is my anxiety medication that makes me relax and not care about everything. I can drive when I take it I can be social and take a shower . I just don’t understand why or how I got anxiety or depression. I realized I was depressed in sixth grade when my mom first got arrested. Then after that it just continued. That’s when I self harmed and didn’t eat I’d wear long sleeve everyday to hide them.
I’m not feeling that great right now .