Going outside really stresses me out

[tonalchemy]

I have this fear of going outside, out of the safety of my apartment. I feel as if I am going to be attacked or like eyes are penetrating me and looking for a way to hurt me. I live in a place very different from that in which I've ever lived, very backward (in Idaho, like about 60 years behind the times) and *very noisy*. I am appalled at all of the loudness of "normal" people, especially in Idaho (aka "idunno"). I can hear entire conversations from across the street. Why do people think they have to talk as loud as they can to be heard? This is probably my main gripe about humans, that they are so goddam loud. Loud cars, loud talking, loud "music" (known to me as "utter crap"). It gets a little better after being outside a bit, but I still feel like I'm being watched with bad intent all of the time. I've had PTSD from a tracheotomy (the most invasive form of surgery according to some) for over 65 years and had a very disturbed childhood. Hospitalized three times for chronic bronchitis (the first was the tracheotomy) by the age of 2 or 3. I had horrible, horrible nightmares until I was around 14 or so but rarely have them now.

I just wish I could walk out the door without a feeling of dread. Thanks for your attention.

[Ladybug9]

It sounds like you have agoraphobia which I too suffer from. I have to wear headphones and carry my MP3 player with me to drown out the noise! It's not easy to deal with and can cause stress and anxiety to go up as well.

[tonalchemy in reply to Ladybug9]

I use noise dampening earplugs when I have to go out. They're not cheap, but well worth it for me. Link: etymotic.com/consumer/heari...

[Ladybug9 in reply to tonalchemy]

Thank you for the link! I appreciate that and know exactly how you feel!