Really stressed out

[BrokenWings83]

So, I have acid reflux, allergic rhinitis, chest congestion on a regular basis. Which basically means I have to cough, clear my throat and sniff. This has over time become the bane of my existence. On the medical front, I am trying to get treatment but so far it has been a very slow process and ineffective. Psychologically, I am a huge mess. Extreme social anxiety from the way people react to me when I am around them. I do not have a job, so I try to stay indoors as much as possible, and when I am out I just suppress my coughing/throat clearing to a minimum, till I reach home. Thing is, since I am asthmatic or have weak throat muscles or weak lungs (not really sure why) but I have to do my stuff quite grossly to really get my airways clear. It is embarrassing and therefore I avoid it as much as I can when I am outside and just wait to get back home so I could just really do a deep cough and breathe normally.

At home, I used to feel better, and at least did not feel the pressure of disturbing people around me. But I moved to an apartment a few months ago where the walls are thin so neighbours hear me. Now they have started banging on furniture/floor when I make noise. It is so stressful and now I feel trapped in my own home. Tip-toeing around all the time so as not to annoy my neighbor downstairs because I know they already hate me because of my ailment. I have also heard other neighbor mocking my throat clearing loudly to get back at me. Every time I clear my throat I wait with clenched teeth for a response back. It kills me too when I hear them get increasingly annoyed with me, because I am naturally inclined to worry about others' comfort at my own expense. But I am suffering too much.

Also, I seriously believe they deliberately bang or make noise or shake the floor. This whole apartment wobbles and shakes terribly. Tonight, I had gone to bed early. Did my regular occasional cough and sniff routine as I was drifting to sleep. But then an aggressive banging started. I also snore pretty loudly, which the neighbors hear and hate me for surely. I guess it gives them the opportunity to get back at me. (I also keep waking up initially from violent jerking of my limbs as I go into sleep).

Don't know what I should do. I go through different emotions every day from this banging reply from homes around me whenever I am slightly loud. (walk around the house, do dishes, talk on phone, whistle/hum, cough, clear throat etc.)

[No1wthayla]

Hi, BrokenWings 83.

Have you considered giving a note to each of your neighbors stating you have health issues (cough, sniff, throat clearing and asthma)? Do you take any medications that might help you? Like a sinus inhaler or allergy medication? Do you have allergies? Maybe taking a decongestant and cough medication (Mucinex is one in the US)? Maybe run the shower when you clear your throat and cough loudly? If they can hear you, they should hear your shower running.

If my neighbor said they had a real reason for making a lot of noises, I would understand. It's not like you're partying and disturbing them. Or, as one of my neighbors did, have a child who bounces a basketball for 2-4 hours at a time. That was a really bad deal since they were right over my bedroom and at all hours of the night.

Do you have curtains on the windows? Could you add some tapestries to the walls or rugs to the floor? Some of these things might help absorb sounds so they are less noticeable.

And one more serious thing: Please see your doctor about your snoring and arm jerking while falling asleep. You might have a sleep disorder like obstructive sleep apnea that is blocking your breathing at night and the jerking arms happen when you startle yourself into breathing again. Your falling asleep arm jerking could be obstructive sleep apena as you are drifting off to sleep. I have sleep apnea and use a CPAP machine that has done wonders for me. It also has a humidifier on it so I can keep my nose and throat from getting dry when I sleep. It took a few weeks to get used to it but it has saved my life, literally. And it's not cheap but my insurance covered all of the testing, machines, supplies (masks, hoses), and repair work. It's worth at least taking a sleep test to check since it might save your life.

[BrokenWings83 in reply to No1wthayla]

Thank you for replying my post No1wthayla. I have not spoken to any of the neighbours much other than a passing hello now and then. But I am positive they know by now that I have medical issues. I mean who coughs/clears throat that much.

I have put curtains and rugs in apartment, but it hardly helps. The insulation is pretty bad and there is no carpet, hardwood floors instead. It would require a lot of soundproof material to really make a difference.

Yes I need to get the legs/arms jerking and snoring checked. I just cannot seem to discuss all my symptoms with the doctor. They rush me through. I am glad to hear that your sleep apnea is better and that CPAP machine helped you. Hope my insurance covers it. I used to think I had spiritual/paranormal issues for so many years. (Lol Still do) Must be sleep apnea.

[CanuckAnon in reply to BrokenWings83]

Still a note explaining the situation to neighbours may break the ice so to speak and help reduce your anxiety a bit when seeing them in hallway etc. The running of shower is a good idea too. The humidity would help you would it not? I would book a double appointment or explain you need longer time with doctor because of health concerns or can you see a nurse practitioner?

[BrokenWings83 in reply to CanuckAnon]

I am already too embarrassed and socially awkward to find the courage to leave them a note. What if that particular neighbor had not yet noticed my noises that much and I just do not want to bring that up. The other day, I was on the balcony of my apartment to smoke. The tenant in one opposite to me came out to see me and angrily shut his balcony sliding door as he said: "Sounds like a robot !", BAM! door shut

[CanuckAnon in reply to BrokenWings83]

I get that as well....that would be difficult.

[BrokenWings83 in reply to CanuckAnon]

Hot showers and humidity do help, but only after I have had a chance to decongest. Otherwise, I feel choked out due to exerting too much effort to clear things out.

A nurse practitioner sounds interesting and I will try to research on it. Good idea, as this might be what I need. Someone with empathy, and more time on their hands.

[BrokenWings83]

I really appreciate the sympathic comment. It feels that the neighbors around me are so angry at me that they are ganging up in bullying me. They knock or thud simultaneously or one after another in response to my cough, typing of keyboard, clicking mouse, or other bodily noises from me. (Things I either compulsively or involuntarily do during the course of the day. Best time for me is when I have the stove exhaust on while I cook).

I have a small room fan on at low 24/7 to drain out my noise to people around me. Plus it helps with my tinnitus ear ringing. I cannot bear complete silence. I have laid a trip bedsheet under my mouse pad and keyboard. I have ordered and laid a computer chair mat, on top of an area rug, on top of a rubber mat (with money I could use for food). I mean what else could I do ? I try to be quiet as possible. They are pounding away below and next to me as I type. And my whole apartment is wobbling.

[BrokenWings83]

Yes, I am trying my best, and in a deep hole out of which everyone close to me tells me that only I would have to climb out on my own. It is just a vicious circle. I pray as much as I can. Trying to convince family that I need unconditional help with things that I am not able to do as before.