A little about me

[JDinFL]

Ok, so I'm a 43 year old SWF looking for....... just kidding yal, everything's true but the looking part. Neimen Marcus & the Hilton would cringe at my baggage. I have 3 grown children, yep, I started early, and 2 beautiful grandbabies. I have worked since I was 15, and no joke, all my kids make more money than I do, I guess I did something right.

But most days it kills me to get out of bed. I'd rather sleep or drink away depression than face life. I guess we all have our demons, and alot if mine, well, I've always swept away. I guess we get to old for that at some point.

So here I am, been through a psych Dr, been through a therapist, been through having no insurance and losing both.

I've lived with my boyfriend/unofficial fiance, (since I've never gotten divorced from my husband who lives in my house, in my name, with his new toddler) for 5 years. Boyfriends an addict, sober for years before we got together...... that's a whole other story.

But back to me, I'm bipolar2, I have anxiety issues along with regular depression....... throw in headaches with alot of insomnia....and hey, somedays I feel like the poster child for mental illness. Other days, well, I suppose many of you can imagine. I grew up with this awesome person ( and I mean I've known her since we were in 1st grade), she's a LMHC and she recommended this site to me.

So this is a first, and it took me days to get the courage to write, but I read some of your stories and your triumphs. As long as this is, it doesn't even scratch the surface, but I think maybe I found home.

18 or 80 - we all have a story, and I'm just wanting to know there is a place for my bad days, because they far outweigh the good mostly. Sometime, just knowing other people have a story can help the day go by.

Thanks and ☮✌to anyone who read. People I meet always say I seem so normal.....🤥🤯😵.

'Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.'

[Blackdog1]

Hi JD,

I like your quote at the end- poor fly!

I've been diagnosed bipolar 2 as well. I have gotten support here and have tried to give some too. I'm not sure what has helped me more.

Thank you for sharing your story!

[JDinFL in reply to Blackdog1]

Thank you for taking the time to read, the bad days, well they're just bad. 💔

[Blackdog1 in reply to JDinFL]

Yea, I know. Hang in there. You've got a sense of humor, that can be really useful!

[JDinFL in reply to Blackdog1]

My fiance seems to see it as sarcasm and cynicism and he cringes at it. To me they are one in the same, they are a coping and blocking mechanism and, fortunate or not inherited.

[Agora1]

Hi JDinFL, I'm glad your friend recommended this site to you. We all need a place we can

go to in safety and comfort and know that we are understood. I think many of us have felt

that we could be the poster child for mental health. So in that respect, you have found "home".

Men and women of all ages post here and somehow we can all relate. There is no age gap

with mental health, no disparity is shown. I'm glad you're here JD, Welcome! xx

[JDinFL in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora1, I feel as though I've found a very safe place and outlet for both my fears and obstacles. Meanwhile, I'll be working on that headshot for my poster, lol.

[Agora1 in reply to JDinFL]

lol xx

[Fireking1]

Hello there, I read your post and I had to comment..normally I read them and think,yeah..same for me but I'm compelled to write back today! What an amazing,open person you are to share your feelings so well. You may think you try to hide but you are so expressive and its wonderful. Keep it up and good luck to you.xx

[JDinFL in reply to Fireking1]

Thank you Fireking1, for your time to read and respond. It's definitely a daily struggle with screaming my issues to the world, - or putting my head back under the covers and hoping the world will disappear. Hopefully continuing to get it out in this amazing place I've found, will help me to not slip further, and better yet, learn from the awe-inspiring people I've read from on here.

[RecreateMyself]

Hello JDinFL, I can relate to your post. I struggle just to get out of bed.... on the outside- people are starting to notice ALL is not normal with me..... and I’ve been able to put on the normal show for many years but as my depression has gotten to be the worst it’s ever been it’s taken me way way down. Much of what u said resonates with me. Take care!

[JDinFL in reply to RecreateMyself]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and acknowledge. I'd like to keep up, 'recreating' is definitely on the to-do list. Take care and stay safe as well.