My story

[Benny88]

I'm 35 on Christmas day. I was diagnosed with MS at age 16. I've been on pain meds and benzos ever since. Currently I'm on 140mg of methadone, 4mg/daily of clonazepam, muscle relaxers, Lyrica, and numerous other medications. When I get admitted to the hospital the nurses always say "wow, you're on alot of meds and alot of sedating ones too". Which I hate the judgemental attitude and comments. If they only knew what I go through on a daily basis. When I'm on all my meds I feel normal and still in pain but it's tolerable. My PCP only gives me what I need and doesn't judge me which I'm thankful for. I'm only trying to have a quality of life and obviously my doc feels that I need what I'm scripted. But when people that have no idea what I'm going through pass judgment on to me, it really doesn't matter to me what they think, just simply tell them just be grateful that they have no idea my degree of suffering. Once nurses read my medical history on paper they change their attitude real quick. I'm just ranting now but this is story of my life. But I'll make it one day at a time like I always have. Any thoughts or prayers or ideas are welcomed.

[davidthecoder]

Yeah I wouldn't put to much thought about them being judgmental. I think everyone is judging everyone, its just what people do. Not all judgements are negative, but they are still judgements. I think we are all guilty of doing this from time to time. It is likely one way that we attempt to make sense of the world.

But of course, these judgements are often wrong (based on incomplete or distorted information).

Have you been able to not judge others as well? I actively have been trying to do this far less, but even after years of practice, I feel that it still occurs. There are many that might say they are completely non-judgmental of everyone, but I am often skeptical when someone makes the claim that they are.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

It could be judgement or it could be that they are concerned. Because sedation drugs don't play well with others. And they have to be careful not to give you something that'll lower your heart rate and give you another issue you don't need.

I get it though at the same time. Sometimes the extra sentences are not needed. The exclamation ‼️ isn't needed. Like you said "OH BOY! You are on quiet a lot of pain meds" It could have been said in a more professional manner. And even explain that to you that they need to find a way to treat you while working with what you are prescribed.

I, too, hate the tone some nurses have given me when I mentioned I've been on Clonazepam for several years. Feels like they think I'm a pill popper. However my dose is.5mg and before my setback with anxiety, I was taking it as needed based. Like going to the hospital because they scare me or flying on an airplane. Traveling to somewhere new. I'm hoping to get back to where I'm not taking it everyday like I am now. But I'm grateful I have it. Helps me from having a full blown panic attack.

Wishing you light and healing 🫂❤️

[Benny88 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thanks soo much for the advice. Also, thanks for responding and reading my long and somewhat exaggerated story/rant. It's greatly appreciated! After thanking you for commenting, I realized I never said "oh boy" anywhere in my post! And I'm NOT a professional, so I simply stated only the ones I use everyday and not some of the meds used on an as needed basis. If the way I say things offended you than sorry not sorry about that! I did the best I could at the time, and way I was feeling at the time I decided to even share that much personal information. Just thought maybe there's others out there that can relate and then they won't feel like nobody understands what they're going through.

[Agora1]

Dearest Benny88, as they say "if they could spend a day in your shoes" they might

understand the reason behind your prescription needs.

Life is all about the "Quality of Life" vs the "Quantity of it"...

There's never any judgement in this community. Just understanding and support

because we care.

P.S. Wanted to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday on Christmas Day. xx

[Benny88 in reply to Agora1]

Awesome that was very heart-felt and sincere. I want to thank you for that response and birthday wishes. Made my evening reading it. Hope you're having a merry Christmas and that you're doing well.

[Atenns2]

Hi Benny I am sorry about what you are going through. I am glad that you welcome prayers. I am a Christian and I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I have been on antidepressants since about 1998. I am over 60 years now. I am currently on Clonazepam and paroxetine. I have suffered tremendous pain and now I have a heart problem too.

The pains can be overwhelming and unbearable, just short of death. But when it is like this I just talk to God and pray to Him and I ask Jesus to help me. Only God knows what others go through.

Despite our pains He has numbered our days even before we were born and He will call us home only when His time is up.

I pray earnestly that God will visit you in His mercy and help you through the pains and heal you.

Please hang in there- a day at a time.

[Agora1]

Happy Birthday Benny88

You were an amazing Christmas Baby

Wishing you a double wish for your special day. xx

[Atenns2]

Amen!