Too much pressure

[PeaceandWar]

I rescheduled my appointment with my therapist for a couple more days because I didn’t even feel like talking. I tried doing a project with my hair and on the fourth day of trying I just gave up and took it all down. I stay up all night because that’s the only alone time I get away from my son. It’s so unfair that I have to take all the responsibility of raising a child alone. I know people who have their parents helping them. Even my roommate barely sees her child because her mother takes care of her daughter. I was recently in a domestic violence incident that involved cps and I’ve done everything right that I’m supposed to, my case worker and counselor even tells me that she’s proud of me but deep down I want to have like one week a month dedicated just to myself so I can be alone. I need a break from having a dependent so I can gather myself when I start to feeling like this. I love my baby and I don’t want him to go to foster care because that’s what will happen if I fail.

[SpeakUp5694]

Hi,

You are in a tough spot. I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is understandable that you love your child, but you want a break. I do not have kids of my own and do know when this will happen, but I have worked with many children and parents who talked about this very situation. I always suggested making a schedule for each day or week to when you supervise and spend time with your child, and when there down time is whether this is nap time or an activity of there choosing on TV or other electronic device (This activity though wold be timed). In short I would look at ideas to occupy your child to where there is time together including you and time apart. During the time apart you can have a short break without having to ask for additional help from others.

Going off of that, with the others you mentioned and their involvement are you allowed additional help with your son from family or friends or other public/private care sectors? If so maybe you can workout some times in which you can alternate who watches your son now and then so you can have breaks and a day to yourself or a few days at a time so you can recoup from stress and the lack of sleep. In short, do your best to set a schedule for yourself, but look at your son and his pattern of behaviors and how the day plays out as your schedule is based on him. When yo have his routine down thrn your day s will play out to easier goign weeks which turn into months and so on.

I myself work in childcare, so I am carious if your son if he is not already enrolled in childcare or an after school program? I apologize that I did not ask your sons age?

Also, as I already mentioned scheduling. If you write down what is on your mind before goign to bed you can feel less stressed and sleep better. Also, if you make a checklist of things to do a particular day (everyday or week - whatever your preference) then you can check it off and it can be off of your mind so you can focus on the next thing that requires your attention.

From what I gathered you sound like you have a handle on things if you are being told by your caseworker and counselor that they are proud of you. You are just overwhelmed which is okay and that is why we are here.

I encourage you to document and write down what happens while interacting with your son so the people involved in your situation can see progress. As long as you have something to show your progress Foster Care will no longer be a scare.

I will offer more help if you want an ear or any ideas to help you and your son be at your best.

If you can think of anything that you would like assistance with I am here yo help!

[PeaceandWar in reply to SpeakUp5694]

Thank you

[SpeakUp5694 in reply to PeaceandWar]

You are very welcome. If there is anything more I can do to help please feel free to reach out!