Why is it so hard to be a parent when... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

49,526 members50,528 posts

Why is it so hard to be a parent when your having a bad day?

JadeRaye
JadeRaye

I love my son more than anything . My husband and I had an explosive fight today which left me feeling super depressed. So depressed my whole body is aching . It's insane how when you are depressed even though it's mental, it makes your whole body ache. whenever I get in these super depressed moods it's so hard to care for my child . I try, I really try to not let it get to me but I can't help it. All I want to do is lay in my bed and stay there . I can barely take care of myself when it's this bad , let alone take care of my child . He doesn't deserve a mother who is like this . It makes me so upset and guility when I have these bad days . Days like this make me want to check myself into a hospital, because I get extremely suicidal . Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

11 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi I just wanted to let you know you need to care for your child all he has is you, and he's counting on you. So get up get dressed and go take care of him. Did your parents take care of you when they were sad? keep that in mind your kid is counting on you and he looks up to you. STAY STRONG x

JadeRaye
JadeRaye in reply to pink83737

My parents did the best they could and I'm trying I really am. It's just so hard, some days I'm just like what's the point in all of this ? There are some days I know I did all I could for him. Staying strong is so hard when you feel so down, but I'm trying I really am . One day at a time and thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

pink83737
pink83737 in reply to JadeRaye

Anytime, it is very hard some days I understand but you have to make yourself do things even if you don't want to. I learned that the hard way. But try listening to happy music!! make a playlist of fun/happy songs you like !

Hidden
Hidden in reply to JadeRaye

Go give your kid a massive hug then you will see the point of it all.

Go have some fun with your kid.

You can do this!

Not only can you do this, you must do this. I totally get it about wanting to stay in bed and feeling that I can't do anything. But when a child is involved, that is not an option. One suggestion is to contact a family services agency in your area and ask them for help. Maybe someone can come into your home to give you a break once in a while. Also, it's very harmful for your child to be around explosive fights with your husband. Please, get some professional help for yourself and your family to protect your child. And remember you are not alone - there is friendship, love, and support right here. Sending you a big HUG.

I am so sad for you and hope that you are getting psychotherapy. I hope you and your husband can both do therapy, either separately or together. I'm sure you know the feelings you describe deserve attention and you really do deserve to feel better. Yes, a happy and joyful you really is possible. Hold onto that hope.

For what It's worth, if I am involved in explosive arguments with family members, that leaves me completely drained. It's hard to imagine anyone else should be an energetic ray of sunshine as a result of a huge blow-up.

Where these power-driven explosive family arguments happen in my family, it is generally due to someone who must win at all costs. I have learned to say, "I am going to take a break from this conversation - right now. I am not saying I am ENDING the conversation, but I AM saying I am not going to continue to be a part of it when it is angry and unproductive. If you can't understand that, maybe a police officer can explain it to you in terms you will understand," and actually mean that.

If you and your husband can't respect one another's needs, neither of you will EVER be able to meet the needs of your son. That's not a judgement, JadeRaye, It's simply a fact that's as old as time itself.

My prayers are will all of you.

Hidden
Hidden

You obviously care A LOT about your child to feel bad and guilty about all this and be concerned for his welfare, enough to reach out to strangers for help. So, actually, he DOES deserve a mother like you, a caring mother who loves him, which you do very much! He most certainly does not deserve anything less!

; )

I know that feeling....I am so sorry your going through that, and having a child during these episodes must be devastating....what are you doing to get help with the depression, and are these fights with your husband increasing....it sounds like your needing to change what has this cycle happening....and it's a good idea to get counselling....think of yourself first, child, then if you want to help your relationship with your husband get better...the anger is often from frustration...if your not feeling good emotionally....no one around you would feel good either...it's not your fault...it's something that can be treated...but you have to get everyone on board with what's going on with you....even if it means getting childcare a few hours a week while you get yourself into some help...it's worth it to you, and everyone around you will benefit if your getting better too.

Hi! I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful. How old is your son? If he's a baby, you Have to tend to his needs. If a toddler he also needs close attention. If older than that, let the tv or his fab dvd's occupy him. Older than that? Video games etc plus tv. Young ones love to watch things on mommy's phone. Now for your depression I can relate. If my hubby of 50 years and I have a bad fight it can put me down for a few days. We're talking, in bed, crying, wanting to take pills so I can sleep and block everything out. If we can get back to talking civil my depression lifts after a few days. When we fight, I get explosive and it totally exhausts me. I too can feel suicidal. I've gone into the hosp several times but that's not usually from an argument. It has always helped me to the point I want to admit myself with no fear cause I know what to expect. Its good that you posted. Let me know how you're doing. Tell me about your son. Hugs

You may also like...