I just want it all to stop

[GhostKitty]

I just want everything to stop. The sadness. The self loathing. The anger. The overstimulation (that only started recently and might be a side effect of medication but I can't get ahold of my stupid psychiatrist from an appointment sooner than Tuesday). The mental breakdowns. The crying. The loneliness when I'm not actually alone. The pushing people away. Never being about to get past executive dysfunction even when I don't feel awful. Feeling like the only thing I have left to live for is a boyfriend that went behind me back 2 and 3 years ago and sexually texted other women. Feeling like I should just push in away enough to make him leave me and leave myself no other choice than to try and seriously take my life. (In conclusion feeling like all I have is him or death). Seeing those girls' stupid pretty faces in my head all the god damn time leading to more self loathing. I just want so many things to stop and I don't know if weekly therapy (that hasn't even helped me in the 5 years I've been having on and off therapy) will help. If weekly therapy isn't enough for me then what options do I even have? I just want it all to stop. Just stop. Please. Just make it all stop. I just want to be ok.

[Shield_Of_Faith]

I'm sorry for all your struggles your dealing with.I'm always here to talk.

I hope things get better soon. 🙏

[1947treble]

I'm sorry that things are so awful and intense right now. Remember that this too shall pass. If therapy isn't working could you possibly have the wrong therapist for you? The match makes all the difference. This world needs you, someone needs your story one day. I prayed and will pray for you.

[Shnookie]

Please call 988 - suicide prevention- crisis hotline. They R very compassionate and supportive

[BlackRoseOldies]

I'm so sorry for your struggles and that you feel alone in this world trust me ur not as for therapy if it's not working talk to them maybe there is something else they can do for you if you ever just need to talk I'm just a message away no I don't know u or ur story but I'm a great listener and I have a daughter that also struggles with depression that I didn't know until recently and also found out she has tried to take her life multiple times which I'm so thankful they didn't work not because I was to blind to c the signs or to dumb enough to not know that depression was a real thing but because I would have lost my babygirl,my best friend because i know this world can be cruel and lonely, sometimes don't make since but someone needs you out here ,someone thinks the world of you even if you don't know it and when ur suffering they are to some just hide it better... What I'm basically saying is please reach out for help ,don't give up... We all need someone, we don't have to struggle alone

[CLB1125]

I’m sorry you feel so bad. There are more options than your bf or death. Have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling? Maybe a change or adjustment in medications is necessary. You need to try and put those other girls out of your thoughts. He’s still with you so that tells me he prefers to be with you. We are all weak and make mistakes sometimes. Does he know you know what he did? Have you talked about it? Would he be willing to talk to a therapist with you? Remember we are always here for you.