Burn Survivor and Stuck in Chronic Depression

[abs02220]

I was burned 12 years ago when I had my first seizure, ever since then I've been diagnosed as an epileptic. I was burned on 40-50% of my body at 17 y/o, I had flatlined, and my world turned upside down. But that was the least of my problems, my sister ended up leaving my family a few years later (she was my best friends) and my brother has been aggressive, violent, and emotionally abusive since I was 14 y/o but even more since my accident. My parents don't do anything, they don't want another kid to leave the family which is understandable, but I'm scared to even leave my room because he directs all of his anger at me. I'm a "worthless c*** who has no future and would be on the streets if it wasn't for him". I'm 29, I'm really giving up.. the only option I see is to get married and leave my home ASAP, as sad at that sounds.

[Tellmeaboutit]

you need to change your living arrangement but getting married for that reason is not the answer.

try to get help from a friend, social worker, womens shelter, church, anyone. tell your doctor next time youre at an appointment, even if its for something unrelated.

call the police the next time your brother is violent. tell them whats been going on, and that youdont feel safe living there. they will help youfind someone to help.

[abs02220 in reply to Tellmeaboutit]

Thanks for your response

It’s easier said than done, I’m not in the States.. I’m in the Middle East and the children typically live with their families until they’re married. We don’t have shelters, friends also live with their families, it’s a bit of a difficult situation.

I did email my dr the other day about how I’m feeling though. I wrote a quite lengthy Email to him and very well written, asking him questions and clearly confiding in him. His resident wrote me back the next day reminding me of the medication tapering schedule and asked if I’d like to see a psychiatrist. It seems like any way I turn, they just brush me off.

I reached out to my best friend in the States who’s been around for me and since the beginning and seen it all, but she just kept saying you need to just become financially independent and find some time for you. It’s also easier said when she’s married, living in NYC, has one of the best families I’ve ever known, and has had a stable career for years.

I have a great educational background, I’ve gone to Ivy league schools, but in the 5 years since I’ve graduated I’ve never been able to find a job. And people continue to tell me you just need to put yourself out there!

I really do see marriage as the only answer because I’ve knocked on all the other doors and none have opened up for me.