I haven’t posted much here and last time I did was months ago. I thing I’ve reached a point where my depression is so bad that I just don’t know what to do. It’s been like this for three years and I’m out of ideas. I’ve tried many therapists and methods. Apparently I’m not ready for cbt as I have too many negative thoughts and in the country where I am I can’t receive treatment for ptsd (according to them I don’t have it since my life wasn’t in danger) my last psychologist kind of gave up on me and wanted to refer me to a new one in the clinic but I never got to see the new one. My meds are not working either and I can’t get a psychiatrist to give me a proper advice. So now I’m just very very stuck in a country without friends and family, unable to travel because of covid and I barely can work or function. I have a birthday soon and I’m starting to feel paralyzed because my life has gotten just worse and worse in the recent years. Also I hate my birthday because it’s connected to a lot of traumas. I don’t see much hope and frankly I’m just waiting for life to pass by. I’m not sure I believe anything helps but yeah any advice is welcome. Hearing from random people that it’s gonna get better, makes it even worse. I’m just writing because I guess it’s better to say it and then let’s see if I get a reply that can make me feel better even for a bit. Thanks for reading if you do and take care.
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greenrainbow
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I’ve never been a fan of cbt, it treats negative thinking , worrying etc as a cause of anxiety and depression. It’s really just a symptom. I would suggest looking into the idea of distress tolerance that is part of dbt therapy as a starting point. Distress tolerance skills are a set of tools that help you manage more intense emotional states. Here’s a good reference for it.
I'm not going to say it is going to get better because I say that to myself and it doesn't. However, I understand perfectly how you feel since I'm getting myself to that point. What to do? I really don't know. All I know is that I have to be strong for the people I love, and hope that something happens that can make a change. Hang in there. There's a saying in Spanish that says, "there's no illness that last a hundred years or a body that can resist it." That's my hope right there.
I am new to this group and applaud you for sharing your story. I understand the mantra of feeling alone yet I am not sure you would feel better surrounded by anyone. It is all about the virtue of self. Begin writing a book, draw, color in a coloring book, play your favorite music that brings about great memories, dance, exercise, etc. I fully get that sometimes those things feel like they take all the energy in the world to initiate but that first step is monumental. If you take the first then the second will become easier...and so forth and so on. I am proud of you and encourage you to give yourself a break. Each day is an opportunity for a fresh start. If it isn't today than perhaps it will be tomorrow. Take care and I wish you inner peace.
Well. I would certainly not say that it's gonna get better because it will not unless you want it to. The pandemic is a pain in the ass too. I think I got my anxiety back because of it. I was in depression for two years and saw many psychiatrist and therapist. They didn't gave up on me but I did. I think all we need is hope to get through all of the terrible times. I did find mine and now I'm okay. Depression is a nasty thing, but it did brought me peace within me. We never really leave depression you know, it takes root in us. Even though I don't feel miserable like I used to but I do have those popping up anxiety attacks for no reason. Yes there will be a lot of people who would try to console you, sometimes it doesn't work but I think of it this way that they care and love me. I had only negative thoughts and hated myself and thought that there is no way out of this. But depression is like a process. We feel hopeless but eventually we do find something to hold on for. I know this would not be of much help because I am not telling you how to fight it. I cannot tell you that because it's your fight and every person goes through depression in his or her own way. I would like to give you strength and positive energy so that you can win this fight. I cannot literally but imagine it. Keep sharing.
Hi Green Rainbow. I’m sorry to hear of your experiences with psychologists & psychiatrists. I suffer from bipolar disorder (deep depression & now anxiety). In my opinion, the worst thing to hear sometimes is “it will get better”...but it is hopeful to hear, for me, “this too shall pass”. I have never used debt and find bits of cbt helpful.
I want you to know that you will be thought of kindly today and I will be praying for your wellness. When people have written this to me, it has been helpful, even briefly. I also don’t like to journal but putting a list of my negative thoughts on paper has helped.
I think finding the right counseling is a must for you to be able to navigate the waters ahead. It will give you communication tools to use as you figure out next steps. There are many resources online if the ones in your country are not helping. Hang in there!
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I’m in a dark hole that I keep making deeper
Stuck here
Feeling so stuck please help
someone please reassure me 
