Despair

[Job2]

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2017. Treatment worked. I wish I'd died.

[gajh]

I am glad you are here with us. I am sorry you are suffering.

[Agora1]

Hi Job2, you were given a miracle many people do not get.

Why so much despair? Can we help you in some way? xx

[Job2 in reply to Agora1]

I'm a pastor. It wasn't a miracle. It was science. I just needed to say the words. I'm just tired of life.

[Agora1 in reply to Job2]

Job2, I respect you being a pastor. Even if you don't believe in m iracles,

I believe that some higher power played into the hands of the surgeons

and technicians who treated you. Being tired of life is another issue.

That is a personal matter and choice. xx

[Tracey0101 in reply to Agora1]

Yes I believe that it was a miracle I believe in miracles and God gives us miracles I have had lots of miracles. If you are a pastor then why don't you believe in miracles as miracles comes from God alone and you said science but science cannot explain everything only God can and that is in the bible that God says that no man on earth who look for anything to find out about the world will not find everything out about the world not even the angels not even us Christians but only God knows. Science cannot explain everything.

[Tracey0101 in reply to Agora1]

God played a role of the surgeons and your life and you had a miracle believe it or not. I respect you but I can also disagree with you. It's a miracle each morning we have been given a new day of life and start afresh today and put yesterday behind us and we have been given a new day to start again and even to improve our lives for better than our yesterdays and learn lessons from anything that was a messed up and do the best we can as it is today. Be thankful for what we have got and live for today and have hope for our tomorrows. Don't focus on what we haven't got focus on what we have got. We got life again today to be thankful for our life today and do good and change what we don't want in our life anymore and what we do want in our life today and we learning every day about life and what we can do and not do and enjoy our life to do our best.

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

don't feel it's a choice tbf

🤔 may be brain chemical issue producing neg thoughts

[Agora1 in reply to Cup-cake7]

Cup-cake7, you are absolutely right in that a chemical imbalance in our brain can

allow negativity to take over. The choice should be in seeking the help one needs

to make life a bit more bearable. A professional can decide what is best for the

person and not a lay person as myself. Thank you Cup-cake7 for opening my

eyes to the many who struggle with depression and hopelessness. xx

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

Thnx for Thankyou

I could go on about this, I had a double fractured school so I've often wondered if it has caused the cloud that just descends, but even if it was that, it doesn't help really to know, I've got to deal with the cloud

Whether I send it back up to the cloud(joke) sit all day pondering, make myself do things to see if I feel better, inevitably you do as motivation kicks in and you see achievement. We just need to handle it the best we can, I was really poorly a few years ago and found out my vitamin D was in its boots and my B12 was low - these two vitamins really help me, was crawling up the stairs at one point but after three weeks it was so much better. Diet really it's important and as we know all the omegas are needed for the brain. It's the case of finding out what works best for you.

[Agora1 in reply to Cup-cake7]

That's absolutely true Cup-cake in that there isn't one method that fits everyone.

You're also right in that it isn't only the issue bothering people but the way they

accept it. Finding and addressing the feelings whether with therapy and/or

medication is only a beginning. The mind and body are a dual package and must

be addressed accordingly. I'm happy that you found what works for you.

After all;, that is our goal to feel better so we can pass it forward.

Thanks for your input. I learn everyday I am on HU.

It's been a blessing in itself. Wishing you well xx

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

Well said!!! All true

My motto was

FAFL ....

Face it,

ACCEPT it,

Float through it,

Let time pass by

👍🏼

it's a Was now. I had it for yrs

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

I also find the approach of actually talking to'it'!!!

I might say, oh so you're back again? Are you come on then? Give me the worst you've got it's okay to feel angst with this. You can even get angry with it.! This really helps anxiety because after all it is just a thought...... I'm not thought has nowhere to go if you challenge it

[Agora1 in reply to Cup-cake7]

Oh Cup-cake, you and me alike. I've had my one sentence commands at times.

My Life, My Choices, Leave me alone lol xx (surprisingly it works)

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

It's whatever works for you 🥰. Only a thought at end of day

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

it's the old saying , just keep busy. Even if you have to have a timetable. You can start with the most awful morning and the day can really end up being one of the nicest days you've had. Have you ever Noticed this? This is why I actually talk to it😀 oh so it's you again I'm not listening🤣

[Agora1 in reply to Cup-cake7]

Ignoring Anxiety, a powerful tool xx

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Agora1]

anxiety attacks as we know are really horrid, it's only one you start to see what is actually happening in your body and causing you to feel so horrid, that you can then See the sense of not giving it any more fuel!!' I just learned to ignore it in the end, oh so you're here again well I'm just ignoring you. Carry on doing your worst.😀

we know what we mean anyway😘

[Job2 in reply to Agora1]

I appreciate that. No, you can't help. I will never do anything while my wife is alive. I'll suffer forever for her.

[Agora1 in reply to Job2]

Job2, I respect you for that decision. May you be given the strength you need

for her sake. xx

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Job2]

Maybe this when antidepressants are really needed or natural ways to boost serotonin and dopamine the good feel hormones

What do you think?

[Skyp]

I don't often write or comment. But I'm glad you have someone to live for and that is your wife.me....I have no one. And right now I'm at the lowest ..

[Cookie2217 in reply to Skyp]

How can we help you? I just got out of a 4 year battle with a depressive episode that was both extremely excruciating and difficult. I was also at my lowest. I lost my job then my place to live and needed to live in my sister's basement for the next 10 months. My sister was extremely mean to me and my husband too. Each day we were there was worse then the last. She made our time there so difficult and now my sister and I are no longer speaking. We also lost our beloved Maine Coon cat, Bella too on May 25, 2024, as we had to have her put to sleep due to oral cancer. She was my constant companion and comforter and she sat next to me each day as if to say "don't do this mommy." She was my confidant too. Thank God for modern medicine and the fact that God made scientists smart enough to make a drug that helps people with their mental illness issues. I began to take Prozac 20 mg. plus Abilify 10 mg. as a booster and it is a game changer for me. I have been through a lot too as I was also physically abused by my father when I was younger and then psychologically, verbally and emotionally abused by my alcoholic mother as a teenager. I was hospitalized three separate times between the ages of 18 to 21 for attempting suicide. I suffer with MDD Major Depressive Disorder and have since 2006. I have been there myself. Please know that there's help out there in the form of medicine and therapeutic services which can help you. I've gotten a new lease on life I'm still stronger than I have in a very long time. The Prozac has made me well mentally and physically and I can't thank God enough for giving me this chance to help others that suffer with this disease. I am so grateful for my husband, Paul who has been the most patient with me as well. He is very compassionate and loved me through this most recent experience and even tried so hard to get me up and about but I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to do anything except try to sleep night and day as I was in the deepest darkest hole I've ever been in my entire life. I had to crawl my way out which was extremely hard but I did it and I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, I see you and I hear you and I'm there for you if you ever want to talk. I'm going to pray for your recovery as well and I'm hoping that you'll be okay. I wish you strength, peace, hope and well-being through this journey.

[worthytobeloved]

I understand you about being tired of life. I often tell God how painful it is to be a human being. I suppose the only thing I can say is that God still wants you on this earth for a reason. You sound depressed, or maybe going through clinical depression which is the pits. Maybe go to a doctor and get help. The right antidepressant can help so much. God bless.

[Cookie2217]

Why are you so down? I know so far that you're a pastor. Don't you find comfort in God's word? You also have a wife too and you said you'd never do anything while she is alive. What makes you so in despair? I'm here to help you if I can. I just suffered a 4-year depressive episode which I can only describe as a deep, dark hole that I needed to find the strength to crawl out of my myself. Thank God for modern medicine and therapeutic services for mental illness issues as I suffer from major depressive disorder, PTSD and adjustment disorder. I began to take Prozac 20 mg. and Abilify 10 mg. about 3 months ago and it was a game changer for me. I was also physically abused by my father when I was younger and then verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused by my alcoholic mother as a teenager and was almost raped when I was 20 years old. I am a suicide survivor and tried to kill myself three separate times between the ages of 18 to 21. God saved me for a reason and I believe it is to help others that are suffering like yourself. Please get help to assist you with your issues as you can feel better too. Don't suffer in silence. You have much more to do here by helping others ok. Hang in there it's going to be alright. I'm so glad that the good Lord took your cancer from within your body and there is definitely a reason why He did that okay. Pray to Him as I'm sure you have many times before but maybe you're praying for the wrong things. Pray that the good Lord above help you through this and walk with you through your journey as I'm sure He will. Remember that all things come in God's time not our own. I tempted fate three times and no one but the Lord above helped me through all of my issues and He continues to guide me through whatever this life has in store for me. I'm wishing you strength, peace, hope and light through your own journey back to healing. Please reply back to me and tell me how your doing. I hope something I've said changed your mind somehow.

[Tracey0101 in reply to Cookie2217]

Definitely true just hope and pray that he will get help and know that God gave him a miracle through the sciences found a drug to heal people and God gave him a miracle to want him to be alive that God wants him still alive and he hasn't finished with him yet God has more in store for him and wants to use him with something else yet. And maybe something bigger than himself he wants to use him. When you don't get a miracle you can be a miracle for someone else. I do colouring letters from 1yr and 7mths when my mental health was really mentally ill and I didn't get the right help and support I needed to be hospitalised and not put in a crisis house and then I was arrested and taken to the police station and in a cell for 6hrs and I was mentally ill and locked up in a cell and then they decided to let me go when I self harm in the cell and they took me home and the said that this wasn't the place for me but they took me home and I was still more worse than when I left there they should of taken me to mental health hospital. It was traumatised me at the time but I have come along way but I have autism and learning disabilities and adhd and I had bipolar symptoms all my life undiagnosed and they keep not believing me that I have bipolar but my care coordinator and all my professionals now believe that I have bipolar and I am going to see psychology and psychiatrist for review on my medication and diagnosis for bipolar and any other mental illnesses and review on my medication I am currently on for my mental health I have ptsd, psychosis which my family members believe I have like some of them schizophrenia as my mum has schizophrenia and some of my family members have schizophrenia and I hear voices and see awful things and get told to do not nice things and demons and psychotic like a horror movie replaying and replaying which horrendous. I have lots of physical health as well and in a wheelchair. I will share the positives now though that I never thought or ever imagine that I could ever believe that I am a fundraiser for charities and it's massive difference what I have been doing just in 1yr and many months making a massive difference to others and the charities I help and support with donations and awareness of mental health and donations. I never thought I could do anything like that as big as this so I have found my purpose and I know now that God had something bigger than myself to change the world to do something good and put love in the world.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Tracey0101]

Thank you for all you do for the world. I admire you! You took a potential negative situation and turned it onto a positive! Good for you. You're a really great person. Never change. Wishing you peace and love always! 😊

[Tracey0101 in reply to Cookie2217]

Thanks for your lovely message

[Tracey0101 in reply to Cookie2217]

Lovely

I did the word beautiful for me and for everyone to see that they are beautiful too.

[Tracey0101 in reply to Tracey0101]

I colour these letters for others and at times I do myself letters as well

[Tracey0101 in reply to Tracey0101]

The money I raised goes to mental health charities and people with autism, and additional needs like learning disabilities and other needs and I want to put love in the world and help charities in need that I understand what it's like suffering from mental illness and autism and learning disabilities etc and I want to help other charities like homeless and the poor and many others.

[Cup-cake7 in reply to Cookie2217]

With respect I don't think it's about what you have/haven't got, if we knew why and all was well, we would fix it surely

[Tracey0101 in reply to Cookie2217]

Goodness I have just realised that I have had simular gone through as you cookie2217 as I am a survival from so many abused physically and emotionally and mentally and psychologically from family members and ex husbands been married twice. I'm in the process of getting divorce from my second husband. I was child abused by my grandfather and my older sister was very abusive when I was a child even though she was a child as well but it continued to adulthood up to 2yrs ago from a baby to 2yrs ago she couldn't accept that I was her baby sister and not only her now part of the family I came along and she hated me and all my life physically attacked me and mentally and emotionally. I stood up to her 2 yrs ago and I was really mentally ill at the time and she attacked me on WhatsApp family group. So I blocked her and all her contacts with me and now I am about to move into a new building where I have people around me but I have my own flat.

[SsgCulldelight]

Don't despair, your giving that dis ease too much energy bro. The physical issues are one thing, your Mind and spirit are another. You have to tell the IAM in you that you are healthy, you don't give in to it, pos affirmation is REAL, and you program your cells with it. Patience and knowing not believing is key.

[Cup-cake7]

is it chicken/ egg or egg /chicken?

It's easy for us to look at blame in the way we think and feel in our life in general because we are looking for reasons why we have these feelings!

Why can't it just be a depression and imbalance? A deficiency of a chemical? When I was 19 I was very despondent with life. I had been talked out of doing the two careers which I really fancied and then I didn't know what to do and I remember thinking there is no point. !? I did feel letdown by my guardians for not supporting me -

I still get this feeling from time to time And I'm sure that was where it originated - it's in the memory cells. I was obviously depressed as a teenager because of this as I didn't want to be a failure I wanted to be successful in life and do what I thought suited me

You could try to turn it round yourself with positive affirmations. I think you have to work hard at this, when you notice the negative thoughts cancel it out and replace with a positive affirmation!

some people say it works, you could even try going onto YouTube particularly when you're going to sleep at night, put an earphone on positive affirmations.

Just google YouTube positive sleep affirmations, there's loads of them to try, and they do say it goes deep into the subconscious, after all you are not awake to challenge it in a negative way with your conscious mind!

Or please talk to your doctor.

it helps you feel better just to have a plan 😊

[Mark1499]

My mother died from cancer of the bone. She was in pain that I can’t even imagine