I am feeling down and unhappy - Anxiety and Depre...

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I am feeling down and unhappy

Nothelpless
Nothelpless

I guess I just need to vent. I think I may be depressed, I don't even want to brush my teeth sometimes. I have head pressures but the doctors can't find anything so I am stuck in my mystery. The people I meet are very thrilled to meet such a good friend (me), but when I need a friend, they brush me off. I recently met a guy online who just separated from his girlfriend. We met for the purpose of language exchange, but I became his crying shoulder, we watched movies together on the phone, We played online games together. I was his call when he could not sleep. I was his first call and his last call every day. I started looking forward to his phone call. He told everyone in his life about me, and I spoke to his father, his son, his friends on the phone. Lately everything just kind of changed overnight. I don't know, but I think it is triggering depression of some kind, mixed in with not knowing how coronavirus affects my livelihood in the next couple of months, as well as the head pressure that gets so bad I almost pass out. I feel like all sources of happiness for me is gone. I want to sleep all the time with the hope that I will feel better when I wake up all the time but I can't, I am not always sleepy.

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It sounds like you've been really hurt; for this I am sorry. It sounds like you might be grieving a bit. Am I correct?

Any kind of online communication is risky. How long have you known this person?

4 months. But I think I used that relationship to cope with my health issues and coronavirus but now everything is staring me in the face

By staring you in the face, do you mean you now have to deal with everything on your own?

I guess I have no more distractions. I have always dealt with it on my own. Also I have to deal with the rejection/grieving on top of everything else. Feeling sick all the time when no one believes you sucks

Awhile back I started getting angry in my psychiatry sessions. My psychiatrist saw this as progress because it meant he had opened me up so to speak, to deal with my issues. It sounds like you have been opened up different way. You are used to distracting yourself as a way of protecting yourself from feeling. It sounds like you just recently lost your coping mechanism. Recently losing it wod mean it's still raw. If I remember correctly, my psychiatrist used the imageryof a band-aid being pulled off to expose the sore (in your case, it might be yanked off instead).

I basically now expect this to always happen to me now. He told everyone that I was special to him. He told me that talking to me made him very happy. He went from that to keeping me on hold for close an hour whenever anyone else calls to him making plans and not messaging me till midnight on why he couldn't keep yo the plan. He would say I couldn't have spent time with you because this person said hi, this other person wanted to watch a movie and so on. So now I feel like a burden or a complainer. He does this even after I told him if you want me to make this plan with you please don't cancel. He will promise, and repeat it

I'm sorry. That's rough. It makes you feel like trash, doesn't it? Well, please know that you're a good person. Whatever actions this guy took are not about you, but about him. You never know, he might have done this before to other people. Once I found out that I wasn't my betrayer's only "victim", I felt a bit better. I was saddened to hear that this person had done this before, but I was relieved to know I hadn't been the only one. While she was attacking me, I felt immensely hurt and completely shocked. Worse still, I felt like she was singling me out. I later learned that she wasn't.

Thanks. All of the signs are there for me also. He recently told me that he would a girl that liked him but he didn't like that other women walking around were very sexy. He doesn't speak with his Mom and sister and son's mother

Seriously?? Gross.

I agree

That's the thing about these people. They come complete with signs. My betrayer had signs, but they were very subtle.

We see what we want to see.

So true. I saw someone kind and always willing to help. I saw, but chose not to heed, the discrepancies in her story and how she conducted herself. I can message if you'd like to know what I mean by that.

Yes please

Ok. I messaged you

I just had a look at your profile. I'm very close in age to you. It also seems you used to trust easily, only to get hurt. Then you keep doing it. Am I correct?

Yes

I do the same thing unfortunately. I talked to my husband about it and he asked me if I went through childhood looking for attention. Since I said yes (my parent's attention), he said that that might be why. He said that maybe I'll take any kind of attention, whether it be good or bad. I did mention once to my psychiatrist that I constantly craved attention as a child.

I was recently hurt by someone who I thought I could trust. This "Dr. Jekyll" turned into a "Mr. Hyde" overnight.

How did you deal with it?

Very uncomfortably. It was an online betrayal. I had some kindhearted individuals talk me through it. They helped me process.

Can I ask you something? Do you feel pure rage and like you want to get revenge?

Not in my case. I get betrayed by family members all the time so, even though it hurts, it pales in comparison. It just comes at a time that my health is deteriorating further. Am online doctor once told me that if any part of my head is inflamed, it could contribute to depression as the brain tries to cope with chemicals produced

I'm sorry

Thanks

I'm happy to be talking with you about this! It's helping me too.🙂

I am glad it is helping you. After I posted, the guy I am talking about tried to invite me to watch a movie which I declined because I was trying to sleep already. Also, I wanted him to know that I am not just waiting for whenever he feels bored and no one else will talk to him. If you want to watch a movie plan it and keep your word. Not just hey I are you awake I'm checking movies online

Good for you!!!👏👏👏

This is helping me too

Glad it's helping!🙂

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