Jealousy and Anxiety

[dogsmakemehappy]

Ever since I started becoming depressed and since my anxiety got worse, I’ve noticed myself being extremely jealous of my boyfriend. I get angry if he hangs out with other people and anxious that he’s drinking too much or cheating, things he has never done before and there’s no reason not to trust him. The minute he says something about a friend joining our plans or him going to hang out, I get grumpy and mean. I wasn’t like this before my depression and anxiety, but that is also when we were only a few months into our relationship. I’m not sure how to fix it because I hate that I do it. I don’t want to control his plans or be a bitch. Someone help

[jvan]

I feel this completely. I've been like this with my boyfriend for the past few months and honestly the only thing that I've found to work is talking to him. No filter. Just tell him exactly how you're feeling and help him understand that it's not that you don't trust him it's just that your anxiety and depression get in the way of everything and no matter what you try it always puts it into your head. If he's willing to hear you out and help you thru it all then he's going to be there, but if he doesn't bother helping or trying to understand it says a lot about him and how he feels..

[dogsmakemehappy in reply to jvan]

I appreciate you replying. I’m very open with him and I share my thoughts and anxieties with him. He’s very supportive and knows that I don’t like having these thoughts, but they still cause arguments and problems. I’m just afraid it’s going to become too much for him and he’s going to leave

[jvan in reply to dogsmakemehappy]

That's what I feel everyday. Literally everyday. I've recently started taking Zoloft to help with my depression, so far I haven't experienced anything except side effects but the doctor thinks this will help me in the long run. Have you maybe considered that or therapy? Sometimes waiting for the light to shine thru the darkness doesn't work in my case

[dogsmakemehappy in reply to jvan]

I take lexapro for anxiety which also helps depression. It helps my anxiety mostly but I might go up on the dosage soon. I have a therapist but he focuses on the anxiety and not the depression.

[jvan in reply to dogsmakemehappy]

I would say have him start focusing on the depression as it's what leads to the anxiety. And if necessary I would go to a doctor who wants to focus on everything instead

[froggymom88]

It sounds like you might be insecure about yourself and so worry that he might find something or someone better. I think it's great that you talk openly with him because communication always goes a long way in a relationship. Maybe when you start to get those feelings of jealousy remind yourself that they are not grounded in facts. I think it's a good idea to start working on the depression with the therapist and the feelings of jealousy.

[dogsmakemehappy in reply to froggymom88]

Yes I hope to do that soon. I have always had low self confidence so I’m going to work on that too

[froggymom88 in reply to dogsmakemehappy]

Good! You deserve to be happy .