Advice

[Jimmyspadge]

Hello all,

I desperately need advice. I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for a long time. The depression has hit me very hard especially in the morning. I woke up around 5.30am this morning with the horrible feeling of depression which is most days now . I have important issues to face and sort out , and they are completely overwhelming me to the point that I cannot even start on one of them. I am on the sick from work which was a horrendous job on a production line and it caused me to get really bad tennis elbow in both arms. I am now at the point where I will need to go on universal credit as struggling paying rent etc.The very thought of it fills me with utter dread and it’s totally something I never dreamed of happening. There is other issues that my family and I need to address. My wife is not being very helpful as she has had enough of me and keeps telling me to leave so I am more or less alone in trying to sort not just the mentioned issue but many others as well. She has her own problems. She had cancer and now clear but the treatment gave her osteoporosis. She has a tablet once a week but now she has a crumbling jawbone due to bad back teeth and she won’t go to the dentist because her head keeps going to one side. Her neck issues started 12 years ago when we lost our twin son just before they were both born.

My wife now has a broken rib she got playing wrestling with our 12 year old boy. She won’t stop doing her cleaning job that she does 5 days a week for 2 hours a day as she wants to take the kids to a caravan next month. She is thin already and now not eating much because of her jaw.

How do people cope with problems/ issues when they are depressed and mentally exhausted?

I don’t have any enjoyment in life anymore. Trapped in a vicious circle and things are going to get worse. Honestly I cannot cope with the current situation, never mind the worse stuff to come. I keep editing this. I may look back on this and think how silly but right at this time I don’t want to live anymore. I am really scared of what I have become mentally and as a person. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is a ridiculous saying. The thoughts about mine and the family situation plus other horrendous issues are constantly on my mind. They are real issues that I need address, but I am unable to address them which will lead to disaster

[courageovercomfort]

I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I have been able to deal w my depression and anxiety with the help of medication, therapy, and a strong support network of friends and family.

[Skeeble]

It's hard dealing with depression and anxiety as it is without added life pressures. I can imagine you feel a great deal of responsibility for your wife with her being unwell.. And I can understand if she is in pain she will be irritable. I know it's hard but please try and remember this bad feeling will pass.. Its not constant.. Its just a dip. Positive feelings will come, you just have to breath through the bad.. And focus on anything good in your life. X

[Jimmyspadge in reply to Skeeble]

It’s as you say. Dealing with really bad circumstances and the anxiety and depression is so bad. I am in a complete void and it’s horrendous

[Tikirob]

Hey Jimmy, thanks for your honesty and sharing your feelings here with us. I also don’t like that saying because it ignores PTSD, Depression, guilt etc. Reading about your hardships reminded me of an old Tony Robbins video I saw where a person was having a hard time dealing with their own struggles independently and with the spouses too in addition to some real hardships with their children. If I remember correctly he shocked the person by saying something ridiculous to disrupt the loop in their mind. I think you nailed it when you mentioned having no joy in life. And you have all these problems just circling around you to reaffirm that joyless feeling. But have you attempted to do something so different that it would be almost ridiculous to consider given the misery (and I don’t mean anything harmful!) ? What if you bought a harmonica? What isle you tried cooking if you don’t cook? Or started reading books to your wife at night ? There may be something that breaks the loop for just a little bit each day, try to find it and look forward to it.

[Jimmyspadge in reply to Tikirob]

Thanks for the reply. There are so many problems that I already have, that I am literally at a point that I feel paralysed. The only way I can describe it is like being inside a plastic bag unable to penetrate any area of the bag that completely envelopes oneself and all around me are 1000 arrows pointing at the outside of the bag which are pressing constantly at the every point of the bag if this makes sense. I know deep down I can only help myself in order to move forward in any way.