Advice : Hello all, I desperately need... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
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Advice

Jimmyspadge
Jimmyspadge

Hello all,

I desperately need advice. I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for a long time. The depression has hit me very hard especially in the morning. I woke up around 5.30am this morning with the horrible feeling of depression which is most days now . I have important issues to face and sort out , and they are completely overwhelming me to the point that I cannot even start on one of them. I am on the sick from work which was a horrendous job on a production line and it caused me to get really bad tennis elbow in both arms. I am now at the point where I will need to go on universal credit as struggling paying rent etc.The very thought of it fills me with utter dread and it’s totally something I never dreamed of happening. There is other issues that my family and I need to address. My wife is not being helpful as she has had enough of me and keeps telling me to leave so I am more or less alone in trying to sort not just the mentioned issue but many others as well. How do people cope with problems/ issues when they are depressed and mentally exhausted?

I don’t have any enjoyment in life anymore. Trapped in a vicious circle and things are going to get worse. Honestly I cannot cope with the current situation, never mind the worse stuff to come.

Any suggestions please?

14 Replies
oldestnewest

Hello. I’m Andy.

I’ve had a read my friend, and first I’d say if possible is to sit and try to take some deep breaths. It’s best to try and calm the body down a bit then you can focus on what’s in front of you.

I see that you suffer with anxiety and depression.

Like other people who have messaged you back, it’s a good idea to visit your G.P. Maybe before hand it’s a good idea to write all your concerns down. Everything. It’s easy to forget when we are faced with our Doctors.

I see you are on medication but going back to your G.P just let’s them see that you are in a pretty bad state, and need lots more help.

I noticed you mentioned‘Universal Credit’. Are you in the U.K? There is no shame in asking for help. None at all. It’s their to help people who genuinely need it. You. Have you looked into ‘E.S.A? If you qualify then they will help with rent and Council Tax. Also if you are long term sick then contact ‘P.I.P. That would help so much.

That’s the practical help mate. Hope it helps.

I don’t know if you have given the ‘Samaritans’ a ring’?

samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

I ask because you have mentioned many times that you cannot cope. Please ring, email or text them. You can even go to your branch and have what they call a ‘Face to Face. I’ve worked very closely with them. They are there for you.

I’m so very sorry that your situation is causing you so much distress and pain.

Things clearly need to change. Start with one thing. Small step. Talk to your G.P. Getting referred to a specialist for more help. Begin your process & that will get things moving.

It’s hard to start. It can feel soul destroying and too hard, but we have to start somewhere.

We are all here for you. Supporting you. Take good care of yourself.

Andy🇬🇧

Many thanks for your time and words.

It sounds like you really are in a hard situation. What is it your wife is fed up of? Can you talk and maybe see a therapist together to discuss the issues?

It is important to talk to your doctor regarding how low your mood is they can refer you to people who you can talk to and offloading really helps especially when I can’t offload at home.

Work is hard I had to leave 2 years ago because of my mental and physical health. Make sure you are entitled to universal credit as if your living with your wife and not paid enough national insurance contributions you won’t be entitled to anything it’s a joke really.

If you need to talk feel free to message me it’s horrible feeling alone and over whelmed just take things one step at a time write a list of things you need to sort and gradually work through them this will help you feel more in control

Jimmyspadge
Jimmyspadge in reply to Lanadc88

Many thanks. I don’t know what I will do yet. I get sort of brain tired a lot lately just feel the need to sleep in the day. My wife says she hates me because I cast a big cloud in the house and it’s affecting her. I don’t blame her but it doesn’t register with me.

Lanadc88
Lanadc88 in reply to Jimmyspadge

That’s so unkind has she ever been to appointments with you so that she can hear from someone else just how this illness can effect people and the things she can do to help u?

Jimmyspadge
Jimmyspadge in reply to Lanadc88

She has rightly had enough unfortunately. It’s very unfair on her and our children. She says I go around in circles which is true but I will think about one problem and it leads to another. I am in deep

Lanadc88
Lanadc88 in reply to Jimmyspadge

Bless you you really need to talk to your doctor and get a support system in place

Make a list of stuff u need to do and prioritize them. This will help with overwhelming feeling and try to space them out so u are not tackling all in 1 day etc... if you were a girl I’d say take a bubble bath to calm down 😂 but how about taking a walk and getting your thoughts together? Rome wasn’t built in a day you know... take baby steps and allow yourself time to do for yourself as this helps you stay calm!

😊☀️🌷🤗

Thanks. It’s so many things going wrong and the hopelessness that comes with it. Seems like I tackle one problem which leads to another

Yes that does occur from time to time but look at what you have tackled already instead of seeing only what crops up after... see the positive accomplishments? You got those knocked off list! Be proud!

Try and get out for a walk or even have a bubble bath if that tickles your fancy.. just do something just for you that brings on calmness.... 😊🌷☀️

Thanks

Hidden
Hidden

Hi Jimmy,

Is there a way you can pluck yourself out of the situation entirely for a long weekend? Staying with a close friend or have a short stay at the hospital?

You seem to be going in circles with your posts and just wearing yourself deeper into the groove.

I've gotten help from hospitalization.

Please put your mental health first.

Everything grows out of that.

Jimmyspadge
Jimmyspadge in reply to Hidden

The only place I could go is to my parents whom are late 70,s. My mum has bad dementia and my dad looks after her 24/7

He isn’t aware of my situation and I cannot tell him as it’s unfair as my younger sister is in a secure place with paranoid schizophrenia and I cannot put my worries on him. It seems that everything is going wrong in so many ways, it’s to the point of nothingness

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Jimmyspadge

Do you think you could try staying in a hospital for a short stay? I did that for two weeks (when I was a kid) and I was really in a bad way before, but it helped me.

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