Thoughts? Am I over thinking?

[Shanm2]

I thought I was fine. But i'm having sudden recurring urges that is self destructive. Im struggling to understand where this has come from.

I dont know if;

1) Some of my emotions are trying to catch up with me and the unhealthy urge is my way of suppressing it further.

2) I have watched or seen something that has triggered me without me even realising.

3) By "Fine" i actually mean not having unbearable feelings of sadness/anger/pain.

4) Starting to become numb - Something I find hard to spot sometimes.

I dont know, what is going on in my head today.

[cnt6870]

I feel like you bulletpointed all the realities of your situation and answered your own question. As your statement is broad in your findings of how everything is self-destructive, we do have to come to realizing that we are not made to do so. We push and push and as I'm realizing how I am speaking to you and I am answering my own questions of my self and realizing I am over thinking and doing the same thing so it pleases everyone. This is the hard part when we have always put ourselves last and it irks me to say this but it's okay to be overwhelmed even if you don't like that feeling because at least you are human and know you are in your conscious mind can understand yourself in this moment.

[Shanm2 in reply to cnt6870]

Thank you for your reply. It has reminded me that im not alone with what you've said. The thing about putting yourself last, is it can speak volumes when your by yourself. And also reminding me that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, Its so easy to be hard on oneself when things are overwhelming, but what greatly helps is to just be gentle with yourself and the thoughts that circle inside your own mind.

I hope you are doing okay today, and just know i appreciate everything you've said!

[Hidden]

Perhaps something or some one triggered you, knowing your triggers and being mindful when they start to invade your thoughts takes time and skill.

The next thing is, have you been able to glide through things (maybe through ignoring or other method) as a coping mechanism as to not have to deal with something and now it needs your attention.

Only you can answer. Journaling is a good way to get your thoughts and any events of the day on paper. At the end of the week see if you spot a pattern.

[Shanm2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. You have really good points here, I do like to write and have found writing things down can be so helpful at times.

Have you any points on how to start journaling?

As it is something that i would probably find beneficial.

Your reply was much appreciated!

[sunandbutterfly]

RoXie had some good points. Have you tried journaling?

Also, perhaps a counselor would be able to help guide you through some coping strategies and help you as you talk through things. Hope that helps!

[Shanm2]

Thank you for your reply. I have considered going to some more counselling as i find it helpful, Have you any points and

how to start journaling?

[sunandbutterfly]

You have to find what works for you. I have a journal and a pen at my bedside. You could put it anywhere you would find it to be easily accessible. Or find a pocket sized one that you can carry with you. I usually write my journal as a prayer telling God what is on my mind, thoughts, things going on with me, things happening to people around me, etc. Somehow it makes it easier to get it all on paper. Make sure that you find things that you are thankful too.

Here is an article that may be helpful for you.

webmd.com/depression/featur...

Hope that helps!

[Shanm2 in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Okay, thats great. Thank you for sharing with me