Tired

[Cam49]

I’ve been feeling like such a failure. I’m not happy or content in my life. I feel inadequate around my coworkers and after I have conversations with them, I pick at what I said that was a real eye-roller. I don’t know how to change it for the better and it leaves me feeling like an idiot. I feel so sad and want to just live alone in isolation. I can’t keep pretending around my family and friends that everything’s fine. Death isn’t the answer and life is so unfulfilling and depressing. I feel unworthy and trapped. I wonder if anyone is already thinking, ” She is strange”.

I’ve got no confidence and can’t look at people in the eye. It just isn’t fair that this is my life.

[Cam49]

Thank you. I appreciate your support. It’s nice to know someone cares.

[Depresseddoglover]

I feel exactly like you do, verbatim. Like I am unworthy, like I am a failure, like I have nothing of value or interest to contribute, like I can't feel contentment or pleasure. It's pretty awful experiencing this self-loathing. I have been told to practice self-compassion (Ted talks by Kristen Neff) and to recognize and challenge my inner critic. I'm sorry that we are experiencing this but I have read SO MANY similar posts that I know this is a crazy, indiscriminate disease. I have faith that we can get better. I listen to a lot of happiness podcasts: Ten Percent Happier, The Happiness Lab, The Good Life Project, The Happiness Project. I keep trying to fake it until I make it.

[Hidden in reply to Depresseddoglover]

I like Kristen Neff's work too. Lately, I've been just trying get more physically active - walking the neighborhood, to the park; going to one exercise class a week, lifting weights when I watch a movie.

I try to remind myself of the strength of own muscles, how they are so strong. I think even though my mind is bent towards depression, my body is neutral and can serve me, protect me and save me.