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Tired of trying to make it through each day

StereotypicalPisces profile image

I honestly feel like there’s little hope for me right now. I hate that I’m back on here complaining about my life every week. I hate that my health never seems to stay in a stable place the past few years. I’m so freaking anxious and depressed lately that I just don’t see myself having much quality of life. The past 3-4 months I’ve been having GI issues and had an endoscopy a week ago to see why my acid reflux has only seemed to get worse even with prescription strength Nexium and Prevacid. They discovered I had a hernia at the bottom of my esophagus/top of stomach (earlier misstated as an ulcer, my apologies) but my follow up appointment with the GI doctor about my results isn’t for another week and a half and the past few days I’ve been feeling incredibly bloated and nauseated to the point where I’m scared to eat and still feeling acid at the back of my throat and working during all this is causing so much more stress because I can’t do my best feeling like this and I don’t want to lose my job like I did last year when my anxiety attacks paralyzed me in fear. But this time it isn’t paralyzing me. I’m just tired of feeling sick. I’m tired of needing Xanax again after months of barely ever needing it anymore. I just feel like all my progress and great leaps I’ve made were all for nothing. And right now nothing makes me feel better. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous, hot and like I’m suffocating. It’s so scary and then waking up and having to go through work and run errands as if I don’t feel like I should be at home curled up or in someone’s doctors office. I feel like such a bother. It never seems to end.

I have so much I want to do. I had a beach trip planned for next month and a concert in october but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it and I feel like I’ll be crushed if i have to put my life on hold again. Because last year I didn’t get to do anything I liked because I was miserable with my mental health. Now mental and physical combined is devastating.

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StereotypicalPisces
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15 Replies

Will they be able to repair the hernia? My grandmother had a hernia like that. She had to sleep in an elevated position.

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to

My doctor mentioned a procedure but at the time I was so sedated that I don’t remember much of anything. But I will definitely call in the morning.

in reply to StereotypicalPisces

I hope you get relief. I saw how my grandmother suffered with it. Terrible affliction.

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to

Thank you so much.

Loveiskind12 profile image
Loveiskind12

I'm so sorry you are going through that .. I hope you feel better soon!!

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to Loveiskind12

Thank you <3

Try not to project ahead to the future plans. Maybe just focus on dealing with the here and now. It's possible that you will feel better by then and be able to enjoy what you have planned. And if not, we'll you could always postpone it a bit.

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to

That is very true. I’m basing my whole future on how I’ve felt lately and you never know what the future holds. I need to keep that in mind.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells

I am on omeprazole 40 mg prescription once a day. It helps within the hour. I cannot miss a day without it.

I feel the same as you. Everything is overwhelming to me and I can’t control anything

weegmack profile image
weegmack

Hey there. You’re having such a horrible time and I completely empathise with you. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD, IBS and a hernia with acid reflux. It’s exhausting managing it all.

I get how you feel - just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I know how crippling the anxiety can be too. You say that you’ve managed a time lately when you barely needed Xanax - try and focus on that: you did that...you got to that place and that’s a huge achievement. And you will get there again. I think you’re very worried about your doctors appointment and you’re subconsciously worrying about the results. My hernia can make me feel really grim. If it’s any help, there’s a nerve behind your hernia (it runs through most of the gut) called the vagus nerve. Irnonically, when your hernia is problematic, it irritates the vagus nerve and produces a feeling of “butterflies in your tummy”. So basically, it makes you feel nervous/anxious. Typical, huh? I have found that taking the maximum twice-daily Nexium dose, plus something called Kolanticon Gel helps my reflux. I don’t know if Kolanticon is available in the US (I’m in Scotland). But it’s a chalky medicine and it works on nausea, spasms and indigestion. You basically want to ask your doctor for something like that - not pills, but an actual liquid suspension that can coat your tummy and throat/osophegus to help with the burning feeling and nausea.

I hope you manage through the day today. Xxx

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to weegmack

Thank you, I think it’s been hard already having bad anxiety and being worried plus having the symptoms of acid reflux. I heard anxiety and GERD often feed off each other and makes everything feel worse and honestly I’m just fed up. But I will look into that medication.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to StereotypicalPisces

Oh my gosh I have GERD too. But with my omperzole I feel better. Talk with your dr and I hope you get that under control. 😁🌸🌸🌸

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to dee_bells

Thank you. I will talk with her ASAP !

Cares179 profile image
Cares179 in reply to StereotypicalPisces

I feel ya, I have acid reflux, IBS, and GAd with panic attacks. When I get anxiety my IBS acts up and when I get IBS my anxiety acts up. It is a never ending battle. I am on vacation and am up at 2am with nausea/ upset stomach ugh. Thank god my dr gave me some Xanax and also phenergan for nausea. Just take one day at a time.

StereotypicalPisces profile image
StereotypicalPisces in reply to Cares179

Good luck, it’s 8am where I am and I’m already having a good bit of anxiety waking up.

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