Forget about body movements?

[EricJones]

"Forget completely about any movements your body might be making"- My Aunt

I get so caught up and lost in paying attention to others body language and my own and assume that I'm going to be in trouble because I'm paying attention to others body movements and that they'll catch me in the act of watching the movements. Is it best that I accept that my movements mean nothing and that if someone moves when I move it means nothing and that they're not tallying up my how many times I move in response to them? My movements mean nothing to them, even if my movements follow their own?

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Yes to all! No one really cares. And your Aunt is right. Just be present in the moment eventually you'll stop doing your ticks because you'll be more relaxed. Right now your tense and so focused internally and externally on yourself and what other people are doing. Be cool, forget about what your body is doing. Just be in the moment.

No one really notices. And even if they do, they definitely ain't having a tally! People are not going "Eric twitch again for the 47th time." Nobody got time for that 😂 They notice but don't care enough to ask about or pay enough attention to it. They carry on with their conversation and lives.

[EricJones in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

So, no one is going to put me on blast or get irked by my movements? They're my own and not linked to other peoples interests?

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to EricJones]

They are your own movements. Doesn't have anything to do with other people. You link them because you are hyper focused on their body movements that you start moving that way.

For the most part, no one is going to put you on blast because most won't notice your copying movements.

[EricJones in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Why don't they notice? Too busy being themselves to take any interest in my movements?

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to EricJones]

Yes! People for the most part are too busy with their own lives and worrying their own problems to worry about your ticks. People have a little thing called screen addiction so they are on their phones. Sharing memes or watching cat video. I know I am 😂

If even if they do notice, you'll never know. They ain't going to tell you anything. For the most part people avoid confrontation. They are going to keep that to themselves and just remove themselves from the situation.

[Hb2003]

I sometimes get self conscious with my body language or my mannerisms . I think learning to not let what people may think of those things can help you be more confident when talking or when using body language. i understand sometimes peoples behavior can be odd or weird if you don’t know what is going on and it’s understandable to want to look . ooh here’s a tip of you want to make it look like you are looking at someone stare at their forehead it will look like you are directly staring at them . hope this helps 🙏

[MaggieSylvie]

Hi Eric, No, they're not interested unless you "perform right under their noses"! In that case, you'd probably get a punch in the nose or something. I'm sure this anxiety would go away if you would read in public places, or pretend to read, or simply close your eyes. If that doesn't appeal, try it for a few seconds, then a few seconds more each time you do it. At least if you were reading, you'd be in someone else's world instead of your own for a while. If you find reading hard to do because of intrusive thoughts, just keep trying; a book or magazine that captures your interest would be better than something someone else has recommended.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I think exposure therapy where I observe other people in a covert way would be more helpful.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Why not make a science of it? I think you are more aware of people than any psychologist.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Haha, probably. You think I should try and dissect whether people are paying attention to me?

[jolinn in reply to EricJones]

Hi Eric,

I am wondering if you have any other interests that you can pay attention to? What do you love? What do you enjoy doing with your life? Do you like hiking, reading, learning about different things, immersing in nature? All these things, and whatever you personal interests are, can be very nice. I think if you immerse yourself in things that you enjoy and/or love that you will not even notice the body movements as much. Focus outward, not necessarily on others, but on your interests.

[EricJones in reply to jolinn]

The fear will be there until it is no longer a fear of mine. Until I disprove it to be true.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Have you conquered othehr fears before?

[MaggieSylvie]

Try and dissect WHO they are paying attention to. That might indeed be you, but who knows? I'm not there.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Idk what you mean

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Well, Eric, I'm not with you (I'm across the pond, haha) . If you people-watch, and it's something many of us do (watch the world go by), you will observe if they are paying attention to anyone in particular. Be sure - if they are watching you, and you become aware of it, they will soon stop watching you and pretend to do something else😆. But it can be interesting to see who is interested in whom and whether that can lead to an interesting situation🤣.

[MaggieSylvie]

Of course, try and dissect whether they are paying attention to you. If you were a teacher you would certainly appreciate it - if they were your students, of course.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Were you a teacher?

[MaggieSylvie]

A teacher of violin. Also a performer.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

So, how did you become so wise?

[MaggieSylvie]

I'm not sure I am wise, but if I am, it's probably due to a long and varied life journey. How did you get to where you are in life?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

A series of trial and tribulations, lol. Things not going my way.

[MaggieSylvie]

Well, from all thosetrials and tribulations you should now have some wisdom to pass on to others who are going through something similar. I hope things are going more your way nowadays.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I wish I could say they are, but sorting out my thoughts and my fears, plus the addition of school. My life isn't that easy.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

No. You have enough going on. School should probably occupy most of your thoughts. By the way, what do you mean by "school"? In the UK school is normally done with by age 18, when students go to university or find work.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

You can say school for all grades here in the US. University included.

[MaggieSylvie]

Believe me, Eric, other people are not monitoring you. Time to think about something else.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

That's coming from someone who doesn't seem to understand how social anxiety works. Or maybe you do and aren't being fair to it. Of course, I know in rhetoric that they're not, but it's more about how you feel about it than how you think about a social situation.

[MaggieSylvie]

Yes. Sorry. What if you are in a place where there are no people? Like out in nature, for instance, although I know we can't always rely on being on our own. What is it like when you are in a lecture or other learning situation?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

lol. I took the easy way out. I'm going to school online.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

You did, didn't you? How's it going? Do you ever have zoom calls where the class all take part?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

No. We're pretty much on our own.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

So are you relaxed when you are studying on your own?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I still have my anxieties that creep in. But I'd say it's easier than being with people.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I enjoy my own company. It's much easier than being with others.

[MaggieSylvie]

Actually, Eric, I have had social anxiety, but it depends on the situation. I don't like the feeling of being watched.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Oh, I didn't know that. I hate it too. Except my observations of being watched aren't accurate.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I would think that the more you would recognise that your observations aren't accurate the more you would lose the fear. Do these discussions help?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I think I have to observe my surroundings more often; to disprove the irrational physical sensations I have every time one of my fears are confronted.

[jolinn in reply to EricJones]

It must be very hard Eric. I hope you feel accepted here and know that we care about you. It is hard to hear that you are burdened by social anxiety and not enjoying yourself in life, like you deserve. There is so much beauty in life, around you, and I sincerely hope that you can access it more. I want that for you because life is short, and again, you deserve to be enjoying it.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I think that is a good idea, Eric.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thanks.