I just wanna disappear, close my phone and stay at home in my room for a while, I can’t talk to my family nor my bf, i feel so sick and exhausted, my mind is so focused on destroying everything i have, and yet I’m not sure if it’s lying to me, what if its trying to warn me?
I’m sick so very very sick, i write in my journal everyday i try not to think but i just can’t.
I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret ( like arguing with my mom because I’m tired of listening to her constant complaints, or breaking up with my bf because he is so goddamn busy all the time when i f**king need him) in this state of mind, I don’t want to exist atm, i sleep all the time literally!!! I can’t sleep until 5 AM, and wake up at 4 pm, then exist for some hours and return to sleep because existing with this mindset will kill me, I can’t focus on ANYTHING that is good!! How i hate it, the problem is I don’t know if what I’m thinking is lies or truths.
I really need a professional help but its impossible at the moment due to the country I’m living in, maybe someday if I’ll stick around and get the chance to travel to another country.
I just wanted to talk, I’m so sick and tired of this, it’s impossible for everything to be this bad, isn’t it? Or is it?
I don’t know anymore, i just don’t know, my heartbeat is always racing and it hurts, I can’t stop this chain of thought, so i sleep, and wake up tired with an aching body.
Anyway Thanks for listening.
Written by
SoniaGorgeous
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I really hope that all the thoughts i have are lies, it’s hard at this moment to differentiate between truth and a lie, especially on the topics I’m most vulnerable in like my relationship.
I mean it. If you want to pm me I'm here all night.
Have you checked to see if there are any online mental health resources where you are? There might even be a phone number to call where you can talk to a counselor who might be able to point you in the right direction for a therapist or group therapy. If not, I hope you can get somewhere where you can get help, you should not have to suffer this way.
I will look for an online counselor, even though i tried two sites, one of them is BetterHealth, and they both refused to help me, saying “ you need to talk to a real psychiatrist ” which tbh discouraged me.
I have the same feeling and I force myself sometimes to think of myself as the best person I can be, but I know I can't fake it. It's just a lonely life I have once I travel back from school where I have no friends to talk to about it.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
xx
physically tired but can’t sleep 
Getting tired [venting]
Tired of pretending!
tired of hearing 'your not alone'
Tired of being tired and forgetful 
