Here we Go

[Sunflowersandlight]

Writing here is just like deciding to go see my therapist or deciding if even I want to go see her, hard. The day I saw my therapist was a bad day, my anxiety made me anxious all up to the appointment came and it made me go super early to the appointment. I had to take my baby with me, making me more anxious. The baby was fussy and I was uncomfortable on the super windy day. By the time I saw my therapist I was overwhelmed. Seeing her for 30 minutes only doesn’t seem enough, and driving more than 30 minutes by street doesn’t seem enough. the baby cried all the way home until he turned purple and even through the drive through that seemed like an eternity.

when I got home, My husband and I had an argument when I asked him to help me bathe the baby since I didn’t want him to slip or something while o tried to reach the shampoo. He said something like “I’ll help bc you’re too scared.” That triggered me into a crying spell and about what I’ve been going through. Turns out he doesn’t want to accept I’m that sick. I ended up feeling worse or like I shouldn’t have opened up to him at all. After I showered I tried once more to calmly explain that I didn’t need babysitting, I was not a danger to the baby or how my mind was working.

He said he just didn’t understand and that’s the dad part no one will understand what we go through or feel. We ended up reconciling

I later opened up to my ministers wife and that was another moment of anxiety.

Today, I pushed myself to take a walk with my baby. Every step stronger. Every step overcoming my anxiety. Every step fighting.

[LadyZen]

When I first went through therapy almost 20 years ago, my husband at the time couldn't understand and was making it worse. My therapist offered to talk to him and it helped a lot. Our marriage was the strongest during that time because of it.

[janedoe2 in reply to LadyZen]

<3

[janedoe2 in reply to janedoe2]

<3

[janedoe2 in reply to janedoe2]

<3

[Hidden]

That’s what I do I push my self, ever step I take I get stronger. No one in my family believes the dr. Or me ,that I have PTS from abuse. They know I was abused to, they saw and heard it for themself. Don’t let him break you, or anyone else. That’s what they did to me for many years.❤️

[Crystal1534]

I'm proud of that u pushed your way to go for a walk with the baby though..cause I know how hard it is just to do things. I can completely relate, my fiance seems like hes tired if hearing me tell him about ways that I'm feeling. Hes just said to me the other day that ,I'll see it's all on my head and that he used to do the same thing when he was younger ,like worry that something was wrong with him and it wasnt . I know he does not understand ! And sometimes they can be so insensitive. I'm sorry your husband said that to you I know that hurt your feelings. I've recently been looking for. Therapist ,and I know for sure ,I definitely would not want only a half hand hour of time ,your right that is not enough time at all. An hour at the least, really ! It just really sucks that we have to go through this stuff and it just seems like everyone else is walking round ,going about like normally and comfortable in there on skin and I'm suffering silently .

[Purpledreamer]

Hello, stay strong lovely lady and keep posting. Keep telling yourself you are doing a good job and you are strong because you most certainly are. X