here we go again

[Vitto1]

tonight was good until the end. For me it feels like me life is in shambles. I had a trigger and it messed me up. I have the anxiety but tonight it feels more of a depression. Mind is wandering but literally want to break down. Got told what I needed to hear and truthfulness. I guess don’t ask if you can’t handle the truth. I thought trying to hear what I needed to hear would be a big step but wasn’t ready for it. The reality of it all is that it might help in the long run. Hope everyone is doing good tonight and it just felt good to say it out loud without judgment

[fauxartist]

Not saying this is your issue, just an idea....have you ever thought this was self-sabotage?

I self sabotaged for a long time, and still have to fight it....it's a really deep-rooted self-esteem and self-worth issue for me. When things were going good for me I'f find fault and screw it up. Or I'd push people away. Not feeling I deserve to be happy or acknowledged...it takes years of validating your stuff and learning that we deserve to be loved and have thing good in our lives...and start finding friends who can give as well as take, and we learn to accept compliments, and stuff in return...because if someone wants to do something for us...that's kindness and most everyone deserves it.....

[GlowingDarkly]

I feel for you in this moment, being told a truth and having it resonate so much that it has caused you pain/depression. It is hard to reflect on criticism be it constructive or toxic because we all instinctually want to protect ourselves from pain and trauma.

But if you can take the time to deeply reflect on what elements of the criticism that struck that deep chord within you, that is the first step towards being able to construct a framework from which you can address that issue. That path may not even be so clear cut and dry - so you might need to seek more advice from a therapist or family/friends or even the us here in the community! But if we cannot accept our flaws and learn more about how we work deep inside, the harder it might be to move on from them.

Of course, I do not know any much of anything about your situation and also specifically what was brought up in your conversation, so maybe I am approaching this incorrectly so I will just say, believe in yourself and forgive yourself. You are more than just who are you are now and what you’ve done prior to this moment. You have a future.

[GlowingDarkly]

Yes! You are your own best ally and it can be so empowering to finally hear your own voice - your own advocate back in your head, giving you clear instructions on what you need to do for own best interests.

Your writing is so direct and so unfettered, I can feel that momentum you’ve been building up towards unleashing your self on to the world. Unshackled. You are powerful.

[Hidden]

Wow

[Threedogsmom]

Hmm, not going there! Just so I can figure out if your WOW was good or bad.. I'm just not! I'm good to go..Gave a good day!

[Threedogsmom]

I'm so sorry... I wasn't 'going off' on anyone here. I don't think I need to add anything to this community ,right now and in the near future... I think just reading what others have to say, will work out best for me. Again, I'm so sorry to you and everyone else here. It won't happen again. Thank you for your words..