Letting Go

[perkofawallflower]

I realized my anxiety makes me clingy and needy in my relationships whether friendships or intimate relationships. I tend to want to text all the time, wonder what he’s doing even when I know he’s busy at work, I seek reassurance, get upset if he compliments other girls or mentions his ex wife texted him or called him. I am learning to let go. Today I was walking down the hall at work and I told myself, I am letting go and that I need to trust that he wants to be with me because he loves me and he is making that choice. This warm feeling of relief spread through my body and I realized I will be okay. I realized I don’t need to text or call him all the time to know that he loves me. I trust that he wants to be with me or he would just leave me. I trust him. I want to show him that I trust him. In that moment of clarity I felt so free.

[Hidden]

Absolutely!! Yes!! It is a great feeling! I’m so glad you’re experiencing it! Letting go of all that junk we come up with in our minds is a huge deal! You’re on your way to peaceful living...if you can do it once, you can do it again. Sometimes that feeling/action takes practice, so don’t give up! Wishing you the best!!

[perkofawallflower in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply. It was such an amazing feeling. I realized in that moment that I didn’t have to feel like that anymore and worry worry about him . I can just let go and trust that he wants to be with me.

[fauxartist]

its good your doing this....but you still should look into understanding this disorder of abandonment....even if your doing self help work books online....self will is only part of it. therapy with a good fit would change understanding why we do the things we do, a help cope with it.

[perkofawallflower in reply to fauxartist]

I know that’s why I am still going to see a therapist. I am just posting about a moment of clarity that I have had.

[fauxartist in reply to perkofawallflower]

Your doing great and I'm so happy for you that you have recognized this issue and are tackling it head on. There is an online group, and they do have meetings...ACOA, don't let the title fool you though, it says adult children from alcoholics but it's also adult children from dysfunctional familys...now it is a 12 step group....but back in the 80's when I joined ...it was very very helpful with all kinds of coping and there are even workbooks that were very helpful. It's a non profit organization like AA, so no dues or fees, only if you wanted to buy a workbook or something. I learned a whole lot in the beginning from the group. I'm here anytime you have any questions, your going to be okay....it takes courage to tackle this, but well worth it.

[perkofawallflower in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you so much for your kind words of support I really appreciate them.

[Itsjustmeagain]

Hi I'm happy you found a bit of relief, it reminded me that several years ago I used to have little flashcards with small reassure note on him like " he loves me for me" etc and when the anixety got to much I could read and reread them , just a thought. Best wishes

[perkofawallflower in reply to Itsjustmeagain]

This is a very good idea