I think I spoiled everything, like I had a chance in my life to do something but I didn't because I was scared and I had my mind full of anxiety and obsessive thoughts.
I'm afraid to do that again, to hide my feelings so that nobody can see me worried and I don't need to be with people so I won't have anxiety... That's what I thought but I think I only made a complete mistake.
Now I regret it, I will always remember this, I was a coward, I should've said what I was experiencing that time to someone, trust someone and ask for help but I kept it inside me, and I "put" myself into a box so I didn't need to talk to or care for anyone...
This leaves me a bleeding scar in my soul and I don't know if I would be able to forget it...
Written by
Lixus
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10 Replies
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Oh please forgive yourself..who of us hasn't made mistakes...let it go...move forward and do what will help you best in life for you! Don't forget no amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of anxiety will change the future...stay strong and positive, you can achieve what you want in life as long as you give it your all!
Sparkles & dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy & hugs Lixus!
I just feel rlly bad for how I managed my anxiety, I though I was doing the right thing, that I will be ok if I just put myself apart from everyone... I will try to follow your advice and move forward, present is now, I guess I can't change the past but I can fight against anxiety for the future
Well forgive yourself first and then do what you said ..move forward...things may become easier for you than what you're thinking now....stay positive!Sparkles & dump trucks Lixus!
If there is one thing you can count on in life is that it never turns out the way you expected it to. You can always count on change. We can make all the plans and goals for ourselves and either except that change is inevitable or learn to become pliable and accept that sometimes we have to do something different, or we can stay stuck in the disappointment of things not turning out the way we had planned and live in regret.
I wanted to teach ceramic art and hang out with my artist friends and talk about philosophy and the cosmic quest for enlightenment while drinking an exquisite cup of hot coffee and eating homemade artisan bread and exotic cheese’s....but then the reality of having to earn a living and doing it while dealing with depression, lack of funding and support, and do whatever I had to do to keep the lights on, kicked in.
Regret is the fact that we cannot except that we have no control over anything really other than our choices of how we are going to accept what life throws at us. If all my wishes in life came true, I'd be rich, change my past, have no depresion, and I wouldn't need to be here writing on this site. It’s never easy, it’s always going to have bumps in the road. But there are also good things in this life, and if your always looking at the door closed…you’ll never go through the one that is open in front of you.
Those of us who struggle with mental health issues always have that extra ‘thing’ we have to equate into our everyday life. We have to work, shop ,pay bills, have relationships, and care for our families...and also our issues. I have to remember not to let my depression dictate my outlook on life, and remember not to let it define me, but accept it as part of who I am and manage it the best I can just like I do with life in general. Some days I win, some days depression wins, but I know that it will pass, and that's what keeps me going. Some days are absolute chaos...and that's when we do need to stop and take care of our issues first. But that too will pass.
Regrets, guilt, shame, blame, ... all keep us stuck. None of this is our fault.
You talk about accept our mental issues, and I agree but I'm not sure if I'm doing it properly. I mean do you think we should talk about our anxiety/mental issues/whatever makes us have a bad day, to anyone that ask us if we are ok or something, or to anyone that we are sure they will understand us even if we don't have a close relationship or we should just tell about it to those who we really trust/have a very close friendship?
I consider this question very important and difficult to answer because I think I should trust people more and if I tell them about my problems I will be able to accept myself and have more self confidence
No,...from experience I will tell you that lay people who don't understand mental illness for whatever reasons, won't respond usually the way a professional would, or someone who also understands because they are going through their own battles with this disease. Most family, friends, and acquaintances’ either don't understand, don't want to understand because it makes them uncomfortable, or just don't want to hear about out stuff. Even those well meaning friends and family can tell us what they think we should here....but it's not always helpful. Most don't understand why we don't just get over it, just deal with it, and move on. So it's up to us to be very selective with who we share our stuff with.
@lixus, sorry that you are feeling anxious. you are not alone. keep in mind that everyone makes a mistake. no we can't change the past but, good news. we can learn from it and make it better from this very moment moving forward. I urge you to forgive yourself and to believe in yourself. you are worth every effort.
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