Till when?

My heart feels heavy missing my kids because I had to make a choice to have their dad care for them cause i cant get my life together. I dont have any motivation and it hurts my soul and that alone cant even motivate me enough to change my life all the way. Thats so sad. Then tonight relatives judge me and say that i should always choose my kids. That they should be with me. Dont they think i know that! I wanted to yell and say how i felt but no one understands. Instead im judged. Its the worst feeling ever. When will i let my self turn my life around. How do i find that motivation. I havent seen my kids for two weeks going on three. I miss them so much.

[Wiganladlovesapie]

Hi. I’m Andy. I’m so very sorry to hear about your situation. I can’t even imagine the pain you must be going through. I don’t know your story, or what happened to bring about you placing your kids with their dad. That’s your private business. But I know that you want them back. Desperately. You don’t need judgment, you need understanding and care. The bravest thing that you have ever done was to let your babies go so you can start to heal. Let getting them back be your motivation. Reach out for help. I don’t know if you have seen your g.p? Or sought counselling? But they are a good start to getting better. Starting is the hardest. But you can do it! for you, and your kids. It’s absolutely one day at a time. Small steps. Keep focusing on the day your kids return home. We all care here. No judgment from us, just care. Please reach out & keep talking. Andy x

[Hidden in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Thank you Andy, its definitely been extreamly hard. Theres not enough space in this blog to even begin my story but thank you again. You wouldnt even understand how this is a big deal for me. This is the first time i have ever been in any support group for the simple fact that i always thought i should keep my life private. I just always thought how could i just talk about my life to strangers. Well Andy, you have really Aww'd me. Your words meant a lot and i cant help but feel a little strange cause it felt nice to hear a complete stanger say "You can do it" and "no judgement here". So again. Thank you. Its nice to have people just tell you what you already know but just needed to hear it again and again. Last night i felt devested but i always tell my self i have two choices, either stay sad and depressed or get up and do something about it. Fortunately for me, today i took the second choice. I dont ever want to be in that deep dark space where i couldnt even get my self up off the floor ever again. It was the worst time in my life. So with all that said, today i owe it to you and this space ofcourse where i can no longer feel alone. Again and again and again. Thank you for taking the time to encourage someone today. I hope i can do the same.

Esmi Wildde

[Wiganladlovesapie in reply to Hidden]

Hi Esmi. I am so, so delighted to read all your words. We are in this together. We will walk each other through these tough times. So now we are no longer strangers but friends in need. And I’m honoured that you feel I have helped in any way. I really believe that talking is essential to our well being. You are doing that here. So please keep talking. Also finding something that stimulates us. A hobby or some voluntary work. I found volunteering so rewarding. It was at my local hospital. It was also an excellent distraction for me. I gave my time, but I gained so much more back. I know for a fact that you will be encouraging someone like yourself soon. They will tell their story, it will resonate with you, and you will walk them through it. Here when you need an ear my friend. Take good care. Andy x

[Hidden in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Thanks Andy, thats actually a great idea. I have been for a while now thinking of volunteering at a senior home. I dont know why i like hearing theyre expirienses and what wisdom they have to share. I will do that.

[Wiganladlovesapie in reply to Hidden]

That’s great! It’s so rewarding. Plus like I said, it is an excellent distraction from our problems. You will meet new people, and if lucky new friends. As you say senior citizens have lived. They have a lifetime of experiences so yes will definitely have wise words to tell. I’m delighted that you are giving this some thought. Let me know how it goes. Take care. And from me here in the🇬🇧 A very good night. Andy x

[Hidden in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Hey Andy, I just wanted to tell you that today I had almost like an epiphani. It just dawned on me and I found my motivation. Ive had a very good and active day. The most rewarding day i've had in a while. its all gonna be ok. i just wanted to share that to you. i hope it makes you happy that you've contributed to this and i see it as a blessing. so i hope that you've had a good day aswell if not then i hope this makes it better. anyway thanks. just one question, what is your favorite type of pie.

[Wiganladlovesapie in reply to Hidden]

Hey👋This means everything to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for such kind words.

You most definitely did have an epiphany! And from that came strength. Strength, positivity, clarity and a brand new day.

And you are right! it is going to be ok yes!

I feel blessed to read your story.

I heard that journaling about these things can be an excellent tool. Because if, and I do mean if! we have down days, then reading over our great & good days tells us that we can have those again. It’s a thought.

Now to this 🥧 It’s a tough question for us ‘Wiganers’ Is it meat & potato? Is it chunky steak & onion? How about cheese & onion? So many more😋

The answer is.....Meat & Potato👍

Thank you for your message really. It made my day.

Andy🇬🇧

[urbetterthanthem]

people are notorious for beating us up about things we already beat ourselves up sufficiently about! I am sorry you didn't get more support. The only person who knows what it's like to be in your particular shoes is you so just do what is right for you right now and in the future, you can be more ambitious in the part you play in their lives if you are then feeling up to it.

[Hidden in reply to urbetterthanthem]

I like that username you picked. Well thank you so much your support. I really means a lot to me. It took me a long time to find the courage to type in the search box "support group". So you can imagine how its a big deal. I do have to keep reminding my self to accept the choices i have made now are what felt right for me at the moment and in the future i can be more ambitious. One day at a time, one minute at a time. Thank you.

[Hidden]

Can I suggest that you edit your post and remove your name ? The three ... will help you do that. You can share it but it’s best to just provide username or first name if you want. You can share your first name in private messages IF you’re comfortable as people can see your posts. Keep sharing. I don’t know your background but people make choices to do things for a reason. If you’re life is not together you can take steps to get it together like coming here and going to your doctor and Councellor to help you sort through your issues. To motivate you to get up again. Maybe you don’t know why you’re not getting up. Maybe you do. Maybe you’re tired.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. You're so sweet. Thats not my real name by the way. It a name i gave my self for this purpose only. Im just at a phase where i dont know what i want but i know what i want. Where i kbow what to do but i dont know what to do. Its a mess but the good news is im trying. Amd i took this first step. And it helped. Thank you i hope i can be a help too.