Depression and body issues.

[shay8blue]

I'm so insecure and disgusted by how I look and how I feel. My boyfriend assures me everyday that I'm beautiful but I dont believe it. I could be skinny and pretty if I tried but it seems impossible. I suffered from anorexia bit overcame it after a while but tend to think of starting again. I want to eat healthy and exercise to achieve my body goals but I dont have any motivation due to my depression. I wanna get fit but I cant seem to get back into sports because I feel so down and unmotivated I look at starving myself again.. anyone els with a similar experience that knows how to over come this?

[maslater]

Depression changes a persons perspective on everything. I recommend therapy and medication. Sounds like you’ve got a great guy though.

[shay8blue in reply to maslater]

I'm on medication and am currently going through therapy but thank you so so much❤ any other suggestions?

[hypercat54]

He loves you for you and you are beautiful in his eyes. If he wanted a skinny pretty girl he would seek one out wouldn't he? He sounds like a keeper so don't drive him away with your insecurities.

Oh and whatever you do don't fall back into anorexia. That's a one way street to kill yourself. x

[Hidden]

Well no but so get it. Are you on meds ? Are you setting a schedule including self care in day and goals? Are you reading books about your depression to get back on track? Starting is hard i am there too it’s awful. Wanting to quit give up but knowing it’s worse. Hang in. Baby steps not eating will only mess up your brain chemicals more so not a good plan.

[HoardersRUs]

It sounds as if you’re describing Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). There’s Treatment for this. Please see a doctor soon about this.

[Daveyboy77]

Don't be too hard on yourself. No doubt your boyfriend loves you for who you are not just as a skinny person. I know its easy said then done and believe me I find this just as hard but you must learn to love yourself even with depression. Please don't go back down the road again of starving yourself. If you feel down please post me anytime. Talking is better than just sitting in silence.

Take care.

[Hidden]

Hi shay8blue, I don't know your age and I would never ask.these types of issues can pop up anytime for many reasons.....you would need a doctor to diagnose any type of disorder...I'm a Therapist..we are not exempt any of life's problems and when we do we seek help like others may..some folks think Therapists are pros at handling their own life issues .. not true...when I was in college and working & still at home..in fact until I was 36 when I left home to get married..I had gone through a phase for about 3 years where I struggled with the same issues you are right now..I wouldn't eat, I made myself vomit because I was stressed and felt sick to my stomach all the time....I was tested for ulcer's..I hated my appearance..I disliked looking at myself in the mirror..I hated my clothes.. everything..my self esteem was in the toilet I was teased and bullied in grade school..

..I look to working with the adults and teens I worked with as a Therapist and I would say about 90% went through a very similar stage..I would suggest a Therapist for you to learn some positive self care for yourself and some CBT..which is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy..it helps reverse negative thinking..and helps you learn where it came from..it's a work in progress ...I suggest Therapy Finder sponsored by Psychology Today magazine. I found mine there and she's helped me so much. My panic attacks and anxiety were out of control...I see her 2x per week and currently by phone because of the current Pandemic. Sometimes you need to try a few Therapist's to find the one you click with..if you don't click or get a gut that it's not going to work Therapy Finder has a very large data base..you put in your zip, city or state and they pop up with their credentials and what their specialty is and their email and phone number is send them a note or leave a message and they will return your call. I see therapy as a very positive experience I think everyone should try. I was with a psychiatrist who did therapy for years and retired so I was lost. I met with a few and did not feel a click and finally I did. My self care has gone up like I'm doing meditation & light yoga @ home, my panic attacks were horrible and went way down almost immediately even though once a week I may get a bad one but I'm grateful for finding her. My self esteem doesn't hurt so much anymore and honestly we all have some level of self esteem issues but when they invade our life it's time for help. I don't know you so I can say it seems like you have this disorder or that disorder only a doctor can do that ..it sounds like some anxiety and low self-esteem which you can get to the cause of in therapy. I suggest Blurt.com a fabulous website with free downloads on self care and anxiety. I sometimes get a Blurt Box. Recently they had a self care Blurt Box filled with self care items..I have decks of cards with 50 reasons why you matter, 50 ways to reduce anxiety, 50 ways to self care..check it out it's a Fab website dedicated to folks like us. Beautiful folks ❤️. The downloads are free..you can get them printed out for you..

Please think of accepting and just saying simply ",thank you" when someone compliment's you...it may feel weird for a bit..

Please think about a Therapist and if you currently have one see you opening up? I am so bluntly open with mine because I know now that's the only way to get the help I need.

Go for it..you had courage to come here and chat and that's a huge step. Kudos! Keep me posted. You have a lot to offer because we all do. 😊❤️🌻🌈.

[shay8blue in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much❤ I'm speechless right now. I'll check out those websites and talk more about #cbt with my councilors. Tha is for taking time to respond it means a lot.

[Hidden in reply to shay8blue]

You're very welcome 😊

[Hidden]

We hear you. I understand the feelings of wanting something, yet not being able to wrap your head around why you can't get motivated to do those things. My best suggestion with regards to exercise (I am a marathon runner and gently guide others to start walking/running and/or doing an exercise routine) is to start small. Maybe with a 30 day exercise routine for beginners. And say that when you get up every morning (or whenever you can set aside 5-10 minutes though I would highly recommend first thing in the morning) to drink a glass of water and do the exercises. This is one of the things that as worked the best for me. I have also worked reading into my routine (this one has been harder for me for whatever reason... I have still after 5 years not been able to get up to a book a month) for about 15-20 minutes/day)). Just do it, even if you don't feel like doing it. I tell myself I will do ALL the exercises within the 30 days... two weeks ago I had to do 3 days' worth of ab / core exercises in one day (though it does little to no good and I can't with the social isolation/distancing to double up on the runs...)... since then I"ve done the exercises daily. lol. Many don't like my body because I'm naturally muscular female... after while I just have to shrug my shoulders and move on. Most people are VERY happy with someone who is overweight, just an FYI. It is an illusion that people want to marry/be with/associate with super fit super intelligent people; believe me. Let that reality sink in, and remember to do things that make YOU feel better about YOURself. Good luck!

[shay8blue in reply to Hidden]

I'm going to push myself to exercise and do sports again. I needed to hear that. Thanks so much❤

[allofatremor]

You need support speak to your GP or join a online chat group so you can share your experiences with others who know what your going through, search depression /Self worth / eating disorders join in with others don’t be alone.

You are probably quite young from what you say? Life is to short so get help NOW xxxx

[shay8blue in reply to allofatremor]

Thanks so much I'll try that