I am new here and in desperate need of people who understand. In December 2014 I had a meltdown. Since then I have tried numerous medications, changed psychiatrists, did ECT, tried experimental Ketamine Infusions and although there has been some improvement, I haven't gotten my life back. I do almost nothing and cant motivate myself.
Out of desperation, i agreed to participate in a clinical research study. I went off medications and cant tell you how horrific that has been. 6 weeks later I finally got the treatment. They have no idea how long before it may help. Now I am hearing maybe a couple of months!!!! In the meantime, I can't try anything else. I knew this when i agreed to it, but i didnt think the meds were really doing much. Once off them, I realize they did more than I thought. Now i am just miserable. Mornings are the worst. I cant get myself moving. My goal is to do one thing a day. I dont always meet that. Hygiene isn't a high priority. I an disgusted to admit that. I am a burden on my family and my husband isnt handling this all that well. He is burnt out and overwhelmed and frustrated he cant fix it.
I know i should force myself to walk or go outside. There are so many things i should be doing that arent getting done. Im sorry i am rambling, but this is killing me. No, I am not suicudal.
There us so much more i can add but think i have put to much out there already. Thanks for listening.