My nightmare coming true

[Kevin160]

Its just like the world is out to get me , its like every single thing i want to happen whather big or small shatters one after the other

I discussed before how my brother who is one of the reasons our family is torn apart and all his abuse towards my parents and sisters emotionally and physically and , he then went to study abroad university because he wasnt making any progress here

I know its not true but its hard to believe life, god, the universe doesnt hate me , when every single time i plan to tell my parents about therapy and that i need help or i need to let out and express my emotions, he comes by unannounced complaining about his mental health and my parents sweep in to worship him , its always been like this , my pare ts love me and all but its a thing in many families that the worst kid gets the king treatment, as he was always the kid to get in fights, get drunk, cause problems , etc.. and i was the one with the good marks, high achievements , good behavior, not because i was scared to do anything bad but because unlike my brother and sisters even i understood how hard my parents were pressured by him and life in general, and i dedicated everything to make everything run smoothly

He came by the other day , and he started with the constant complaining about everything ..and now he is going to move back home, our relationship improved BECAUSE he moved out , now everything will be horrible again, he is a control freak, and i really dont know how i will manage

Imm angry to a point that im just numb, i dont even feel like doing anything , im just frozen..this cant be happening ! How will my mental health improve if my home life will possibly go back to the old days , were it was HELL on earth,

[seekingSunshine]

Find a way to talk to your parents. Can you leave and study abroad?

[Kevin160 in reply to seekingSunshine]

Yes i can , but im very reluctant because I dont want to end up worse off than it i stayed , my parents still love me alot and they care , they just favor him more and worship him because they're used to him being the horrible kid who always needs help , and they expect me to know better i guess i dont know

[Kevin160 in reply to seekingSunshine]

Also because his health really worsened after he left, because its hard to live alone in a foreign country , and im already a very sensitive person and my mental health is already horrible , so im not sure , everyone wants me to stay as well because its cheaper and more beneficial to stay

[Fumble]

I can so relate to a having an attention seeking brother who always persuades the parents that they are hard done by and deserve everything despite you doing everything you can to help the whole family.

Just try to keep calm until you start your therapy, and make sure you do start.

[Kevin160 in reply to Fumble]

Yes my appointment is tomorrow , and i cant wait , im really nervous , and i dont know what to expect

[newbie1956 in reply to Kevin160]

I understand how deeply distressed you are. So I'll be praying for you.

It's a step in the right direction.

Love you

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

Thank you so much for doing so ❤️❤️, beyond grateful for your support

[newbie1956 in reply to Kevin160]

You're welcome, Kevin.

I'll be specific with my request to our Father, 1st that you'll get a good night of rest

and 2nd for you to have a calm heart as you have a light breakfast.

And 3rd, walk into the appointment with your head high with nothing to be ashamed of.

GOD loves you.

[Fumble in reply to Kevin160]

I was terrified before my first season, but I found it surprisingly painless. Just try to be as honest and open as you can be. And take your time after to think about what you discussed. It can be quite tiring too, but most people soon look forward to the next session.

I'm sure it will go well and hope you feel it helps