IMPORTANT FOR ME TO AVOID “TRIGGERS”

[MrZee]

Generally my depression is manageable and treatable and for the most part I’m doing okay taking my antidepressant medication and seeing my therapist on a regular basis.

I work for a community college as an Admin Asst. and thoroughly enjoy my job. I receive a lot of kudos from my close coworkers.

However there’s situations that can plunge me into a depression. For example a couple of weeks ago the college had a general assembly for the Administrative Staff. They gave out awards for the most outstanding workers. And as they were about to call up the next person to receive their award each receiver had a round of applause. My heart was pacing because I was sure I was going to be one of the receivers. But my name was never called. Only the @ss kissers won the awards. I don’t kiss @ss on the job. Nor do I ever care to. I find that behavior a dishonest turn off.

Anyway, after the assembly I was plunged into a depression that I had to ride out for about 3 days until it began to lift. But if I look at this from a positive perspective, that’s an example of a “trigger”... something that can set off a depression. And I have to avoid those. In the future I won’t be attending those award assemblies. Not out of resentment, but to protect my own well being.

When it comes to protecting myself from getting depressed I have to stay away from anything competitive. Board games, sports, or anything else competitive where there’s a winner and a loser depresses me. That for example is why I vastly avoid playing or watching competitions such the lottery; the Golden Globes; Academy Awards and so on.

Anyway, that’s some examples of avoiding triggers. There’s other depression triggers out there. I must remain vigilant to avoid them for my own well being. Thanks

[Dolphin14]

I agree. I know my triggers and stay

vigilant in staying away from them.

There are situations where I have to be exposed to my triggers. I do the best I can to get through it. I just tell myself I'm going to be ok.

[MrZee in reply to Dolphin14]

Exactly Dolphin14. It’s good to know we’re both on the same page. ❤️

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I have lived with depression all my life, I learnt there are Two main types of depression. Clinical depression and situational depression. I basically have clinical depression for which I take med's daily. I have also had bouts of situational depression, as in when Princess Di, was killed. Some related to work and other peoples suffering. Thru therapy I learnt to give those up, Nothing I could Do about them, so do not take it personal . It worked. I place myself outside the picture, become an on looker, if there is anything I can do to be of help - I do. Otherwise I get on with my life I am not an a--kisser never have been, I like myself and respect myself for my own true beliefs. Belive in yourself , no matter where you go you will find dishonest people, so learn to live your life and do not create suffering for yourself, you will end up feeling left out. And if needs be avoid these people and events, you deserve a peaceful life. I do not think of winners and losers, there is 1st place and 2nd place and so on. Hope my words make sense to you, I wish you a pleasant and peaceful life, sending love and hugs to a No.1......Sprinkle 1.....

[MrZee in reply to Sprinkle1]

Yes Sprinkle1 you make absolute sense. I too have clinical depression (for which I take medication). The situational depression that I get is the one that gets triggered (such as in the past attending an awards events). And yes there is no #1, #2, etc.

I even remember the loss of Princess Di. The whole world mourned. For me I was saddened because we lost such a loving humanitarian.

On that note what I do find nurturing is being around humanitarians. They have no strings attached, are caring and usually lend a hand to help lift me up. I’m one of those too.

Thank you for being there.

All my best,

MZ ❤️

[urbetterthanthem in reply to Sprinkle1]

Have you heard of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation? It is one of many treatment options for depression. Having adequate vitamin D levels can help improve depression symptoms in people who have low or low-ish levels. For instance mine are low especially in the winter. I believe spring fever for some people has a lot to do with the change in sun exposure resulting in an influx of Vitamin D which boosts moods. I also find just getting out more in nature and spending time outdoors helps me. Exercise is tremendously helpful but when you have depression it can affect your motivation so having a routine which is not overly ambitious seems to be the way to go. I think with cognitive therapy and by removing yourself from toxic environments people can recover over time. If medicine is what works for you then that is the best option. I do think a lot can be accomplished when you take someone in a toxic environment and change that to a healing nurturing environment.

[Anna2008 in reply to urbetterthanthem]

Sunshine and exercise are two definites that certainly help ease my depression...

[MrZee in reply to Anna2008]

Hi Anna2008,

Same here. Sunshine and taking walks help ease mine too. Plus Spring is around the corner and that makes me happy... my favorite time of the year. ❤️

[Anna2008 in reply to MrZee]

I love Spring! It's my favourite time of year too...

[urbetterthanthem]

In the words of Mr. Myagi...belt is just for hold pants up...You don't need a black belt to be a black belt and you don't need an award to show your worth. If the selection process is as arbitrary as you say it is then the award doesn't mean very much. Are there other people you work with who see your value and appreciate the help you give? Those are the people whose opinion you should give weight to. I would imagine there are a lot of great workers in the world who have encountered situations like yours. Sometimes a boss will take credit for an employee's idea. The fact that you don't kiss up makes you not only a better worker but a employee with more character. I hope other employees do recognize your value because it does feel good to be appreciated.

[MrZee in reply to urbetterthanthem]

Thank you for the wise words. Yes, I do have immediate coworkers that thank me. Some of them have given me treats or thank you cards. I cherish them.

As for future awards and recognition ceremonies I’ve now learned I have better things to do with my time so I’ll avoid those.

The college has asked me “in order to grow my career” to get involved and attend some committee meetings. I tried that one. All it was to me was a group of people pontificating about their achievements and how their idea is the best to implement.... bla bla bla. Meanwhile I was quietly sitting there inwardly rolling my eyes thinking that I just want to be back in my happy place and content little office and not compete with the @ss kissers in meetings that are a waste of my time. They can have their own stage... next time I’ll sit that one out.

Best,

MZ

[urbetterthanthem in reply to MrZee]

yeah sounds like their interactions are disingenuous and two-faced..I don't think any of those people sound like they are the best at anything besides being snakes..and don't be afraid to try to be the best at something..that is essentially what an expert..master...natural is..Ideally people have certain things they are better at than other people and they should pursue those things if they have them..Like I have a passion for trying to help people on here..Wouldn't call myself Freud but you don't have to be you just have to truly care about other people in a honest and true way which i think is often something people fail to be able to do.

[MrZee in reply to urbetterthanthem]

I get what your saying.

And to reply to your previous reply, as for the weather and the seasons, I do get Seasonal Affectedness. Winter is hard. I do not like the short days nor the cold. Spring is 100% my favorite time of the year. When I see new leaves and flowers begin to bud (March to May) and the days begin to warm, my mood greatly lifts.

As for exercise I do take walks and that’s it on the exercise scale for me. Though, I’m more dormant in the Winter. When Spring/Summer/early Autumn comes I walk more and that greatly helps.

As for the medication. It works. In the past I’ve tried going off them and turned to natural herbs “known for lifting depression” (as guided by a friend). The only thing that happened was I ended up severely depressed. So a few weeks later I went back on my medication and I stabilized. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for years. It works for me so I let it be.

Thanks for caring,

MZ

[urbetterthanthem in reply to MrZee]

I wanted to clarify what I said before. I was watching Will Ferrel and Chad Smith on Jimmy Fallon Show and how they were very funny and just naturally, fearlessly could be entertaining and overflowing with on the spot improvised humor. At the end of the bit i thought to myself, these people just naturally are good at this. This is what they do best in the world. Their talent and reason they get paid big bucks is for being able to have that entertaining personality and wit on the spot working in the entertainment business. So it was really an appreciation for other people's talent and not any I would call my own that led me to make the statement about people being the best at things. The character Derek Zoolander explains his career in modeling as looking at himself and saying "Wow you're really ridiculously good looking..maybe you could be professionally good looking for a career" Meaning we often have an area of talent we need to find and focus on which we can be the best at. Yours seems to be having excellent character and good work ethic. I think when we find out strengths we become strong and focusing on them helps us live in a confident, fulfilled and less anxiety filled headspace

[urbetterthanthem in reply to MrZee]

yeah, I am not anti-med persay but you have to understand that there are people who think the same way as you do who force people to take these meds and that is where they get an ugly connotation. Also, many people experience side effects that are particular to them and not other people. Antidepressants can save lives especially with suicidal people but there are a lot of ways to deal with depression...Group healing sessions can be good..my friends in college used to cheer when I showed up which was very uplifting..Listening to music and dancing..positive people..I have wondered what a group that gets togethor to cheer people up once a week might do to someone depressed. "cheer" therapy. I know that toxic people who are emotionally abusive can bring you down, so why can't positive happy people cheer you up? That is one reason I like dogs..They are always happy to see you when you get home from work and their tail is wagging like crazy and they pounce on you filled with adoration and affection..Who can be depressed with those kinds of energy in their life? Not as many people as who are depressed in this world.

[MrZee in reply to urbetterthanthem]

Thank you for the replies... especially about having talent. Yes I have a strong working ethic. I’m in my 60s and I’ve worked for many years in the corporate world making good money while being miserable at the same time, mostly from all the BS around me. Two+ years ago I got this part time job at the local college’s Art dept as their Admin. And I love it. My job brings me joy when I’m assisting others and they’re grateful for that. Ironically this job pays much less than the corporate world. But job contentment wins. So there I’ll be.

Depression is such a mixed bag. What med works great for me might not for someone else. That’s why over the years my doctor has said, “Let’s ’try’ this one and see what happens.” Wellbutrin XR works well treating my clinical depression.

Then there’s situational depression. That comes from the “triggers.” When that happens to me I usually have to ride it out. It lasts about 2 - 3 days. I have 4 cats that are wonderful to be with. And I keep the mindset that the situational is only temporary.

Interestingly when it comes to many famous actors, athletes, etc. most of them suffer from depression. I’ve even heard for example before Denzel Washington goes in front of the cameras he battles anxiety panic attacks. Robin Williams was a brilliantly loved actor and sadly severe depression took his life. Recently I’ve become quite a fan of Michael Phelps. He’s the Olympic Swimmer with the most Gold Medals. Yet he’s come out as an advocate for Depression Awareness. I’ve seem him talk on YouTube and I’m very impressed with his courage around talking about his depression and cares about others who have it.

So here we are taking each day at a time. What is important for me is to surround myself with the positives. I do my best to avoid the toxics.

Thanks again,

MZ ❤️

[MrZee]

Dear Scrumbler,

First and foremost welcome 🌻 to this group. Here you can receive and give support from/to others who care and empathize.

I’m touch by your support regarding the toxic PM I recently received. I instantly knew this person’s post needed to be reported. So I sent the PM’s a screenshot of that toxic post to the Admins.

Though that PM is quite loaded, as you also observed, the person is clearly toxic with a weak esteem and seeks retribution projecting it on others for their own irrational justification. aka: Misery Loves Company.

I’m not new to this. I have an older sister that is extremely aggressive and toxic. She detests me because I’ve diligently worked on myself in therapy for years snd have made a lot of peace in my life, yet I’m still working on myself. While we stayed in touch she’d always would find a way to degrade me. 3 years ago, during our last contact at a family event in front of everyone she shot at me an audible “f—k you!” from across the room. I didn’t even give her the opportunity of a reply. I left (with several concerned family members on my coattails concerned if I was okay). But that was the final straw. I had to completely cut off any contact with her. She’s blocked from my phone, email, and I’ve made it clear to other family members I do not wish to discuss her. An extreme choice on my end but best for my own well being... I refuse to be degraded for being a caring human being.

Sad there’s toxic people out there that do things like this. But I’ve learned to be vigilant... stay away from them.

Thank you again for your standing up for me. I hope we exchange more positive posts in the future and can lend one another empathetic support.

All my best,

MZ ❤️

[Sprinkle1]

Good for you MrZee, I wondered where this sick, arrogant, ignoramus, piece of debris came from. I have written to you before, we are in the same boat, clinical depression, which is a life long illness for many of us. I admire the way you have tackled your life. I have a brother that is as far as I am concerned dead, and I will have Nothing else to do with him. Sad there has to be people like this in our lives. But we have grown enough that will will not let them spray their poison in our lives anymore. So all who read this, take heart, do not let toxic people in your life, even if they are family. If you need help, write to us and we will offer support and love.....Love and peace to everyone in our group....Sprinkle 1......also big hugs....

[MrZee in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you Sprinkle1. It truly warms my heart how you can relate to my vigilance of avoiding online bullies as well as toxic people (be it a relative or out there in public).

Big hugs to you too. 🤗