A Strange and Sad Perspective

[MrZee]

I have for the most part a simple life. That is, it’s not complex. It’s mostly mellow. Yes, I deal with depression. I take meds to help cope with it. Yet I feel I don’t have any major accomplishments in life. I haven’t earned any college degrees and I get by month to month with a low paying admin job that I actually enjoy. Aside from work I’m a homebody. I turned 60 and feel like I’m on the cusp of old age. Throughout my life I’ve had suicidal thoughts. But that’s natural. Everyone does from time to time. Yet there’s this force that keeps me going.

Then I read in the news:

“Olympic track cyclist Kelly Catlin, who helped the U.S. women's pursuit team win the silver medal at the Rio de Janeiro Games in 2016, died Friday at her home in California. She was 23.” She took her life by suicide.

The article went on describing this young woman was quite accomplished, earned college degrees and appeared to have a good life.

Little did anyone know that Kelly must have been in terrible emotional pain that caused her to take her own life at such a young age.

It strikes me how many “accomplished” or famous people take their lives. Yet here I am, Joe Average at 60. And I keep going. It’s a strange and sad perspective to me.

I suppose in a nutshell life isn’t meant to make sense. Yet I keep going.

Rest in peace Kelly. If I would have known you personally I would have been there to help heal you from your pain.

[Hidden]

I understand and share that perspective with you. Unfortunately even people who have achieved a lot in life are still depressed and take their own life. I see living each day with depression as it’s own achievement because it’s very difficult to keep going when times are tough. I think a happy life, depression free is the best achievement anyone can have.

[MrZee in reply to Hidden]

Very well said and that’s exactly how I feel.

[Starrlight]

❤️

[hypercat54]

Hi I understand too. It's not about accomplishment but how well you know yourself and leading the kind of life you are happy with. My depression has always got in the way of me having a career or a family of my own but hey ho am still going strong. I am a bit older than you. x

[MrZee in reply to hypercat54]

What a kind reply. I appreciate your understanding. Perhaps, we’re not old after all. We’re well seasoned.

[hypercat54 in reply to MrZee]

Maybe. I am taking after my mother - she said she was middle aged until 80. She also said she was going to be eccentric at 70, so am working on that now ha ha. x

[MrZee in reply to hypercat54]

A very good outlook. Hey, I feel eccentric at 60. That part I do enjoy.

[hypercat54 in reply to MrZee]

Ha ha me too. One of the advantages of being an 'old lady' now is I can flirt with all the good looking young men and get hugs as they don't take me seriously. I also play the old lady card when I am finding something too difficult and it makes my brain hurt ie problems with a mobile. x

[hypercat54 in reply to hypercat54]

I also don't feel guilty anymore at sitting in the disabled section of the bus although I will get up if I see someone about 90 with a stick! If the bus has loads of kids on I will ask them to let me have a seat too if my back is aching. x

[MrZee in reply to hypercat54]

My Mom used to pull the Old Lady card to be the first to board a plane.

When it comes to women of any age, being Gay is wonderful... no sexual tension whatsoever. Plus a lot of them love to talk trash and I just listen and come back with witty eccentric responses.

I also work at a college and often talk to the youngins. Many of them ask me, “How did you get to be so wise?” My reply, “Give it 40 years.”

[gfranklin12]

Amen brother!!!!

[MrZee in reply to gfranklin12]

Thank you for that. It means a lot.