I don’t know what is next for me.

[bobaenjoyer563]

It has been a rough couple of months. I’ve been suffering from anxiety, depression and extremely low self esteem since I was 12 and recently it has gotten borderline unbearable. I am currently in a competitive program in college and this is the first time in my life I failed a class, let alone multiple classes fall semester due to my illnesses. It has come to the point I may lose my funding, my place at the program and a chance at a good future. What hurts most is I am losing a long distance friend I thought loved and cared about me, and now I am truly alone. The only support I have are my parents. They have such high expectations of me because of my academic success in the past. I feel like a failure, and in some ways I am the definition of one. I wish I could be normal. I wish I could make friends and maintain relationships with the people I care about most without feeling like a burden/horrible friend. I wish I was intelligent enough to understand that my actions led me here. I come from a lower income household with a sick mother and an elderly father with a brother in prison. I feel I am their last hope and I am failing at it. I’m not sure what is next for me and I am not sure if I am capable of dealing with the hurt and wave of disappointment that is coming soon.

[litethatnevergoesout]

rededicate yourself to your studies. the weight you’re carrying around on your back has to go. I think if you’re looking for a relationship right now the best one I can come up with is a therapist. Communicate with them about this unnecessary and hindering yoke you’ve put across your shoulders from your adolescence all the way to your parents and siblings, the irrational fears and self doubt. friendships will come and go vicissitudes are life and right now what matters is that you’re in the sweet spot for making the most of your possible future with the effort and decisions you make now. let your past academic success propel you into what you want to achieve with the goals you have in your program. rededicate get a good therapist to help keep you focused. Good luck. You can do it.

[blackcat64013]

Hi 👋 from me. You have a lot of online friends here for you. 🫂

While you are studying you are eligible to take advantage of a Student Assistance Program often called a SAP.

The SAP offers free and confidential counselling sessions. The counsellors can assist you to arrange reasonable accomodation of your study load and to make changes for you when sitting exams, taking into account your situation.

Asking for help is the first step but often the hardest. Nerves have got the better of me in the past.

What I do is prepare a short statement in writing so that if nerves get the better of me, I refer to my piece of paper to keep me on track.

My opening statement is, " Good morning. I need help to deal with my condition. I hope you can help me today."

This leaves the door open for a response.

You can use it or tweak to suit you.

You might also like to look for some phone support numbers that offer after hours support.

I am in Australia and could help you with these if you are a local.

Of course, being an international site, there is nearly always available 24/7 for support 😉 🐈‍⬛

[davidthecoder in reply to blackcat64013]

Glad you mentioned this actually. I think this actually is pretty widely adopted where schools will offer certain accommodations for students with conditions such as anxiety and/or depression. At my previous school when I talked to the school therapist, she actually mentioned she could recommend me for that assistance. I can't remember all of the details, but I know that one of the things that was offered was longer time to take exams compared to other students.

Also I failed my first year completely, came back later on and became eligible for academic forgiveness. While that bad first years stayed on my transcript, it wasn't calculated into my GPA. I had to have like 2 or 3 semesters above a certain GPA to be able to do that. But when I came back I got all A's.

Unfortunately my anxiety got so bad when the Omicron variant came out and all of the classes were back on campus, I was too afraid to go back (I take care of an elderly person).

I really need to go back and finish because I was around 75% done with a 4.0 GPA in Comp Sci. Just an Associates, but still...

[david2424]

Hang in there. See if you can take meds or talk to a counselor at school. Your health and well being are more important than your grades. I am sure your family will understand.