I have struggled with depression for about forty five years. I am sometimes amazed I made it this far. I joined the navy. I would advise anyone who suffers from depression to think real hard before signing up. I once contemplated jumping into the Pacific Ocean in the middle of the night, a thousand miles from nowhere. That was 1977. I started college after getting out. I never did well in school through to the twelfth grade.
I was tested in the fourth grade and evaluated as borderline gifted. Found out only later in life that my mother concealed from me a diagnosis of ADD. I graduated from college nineteen years after graduating from high school. My grades were like a roller coaster. I graduated near the bottom of my class. During my second year at the university I was contemplating jumping from the roof of the engineering building. That was 1992.
In 2003 I got caught up in some whistle blowing when I was teaching computer aided design at a very corrupt for-profit trade school. I was fired, they got away with it and I was looking at throwing myself in front of a train. I stopped looking for work, sold my house and used the funds to buy a shack in the desert of rural Nevada. I spent a year writing, drinking, smoking pot and trying to avoid hanging myself.
The last five years have been the longest depressive episode of my life, though not as severe as my time in the navy, or my “walkabout” in the desert. Many of the current triggers are age related. I have had a lot of jobs, most of them were challenging. I quit my last job because I was getting very depressed by my own poor performance caused by declining memory. That was kind of long, but I think I may be one of the older people in here.
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PassingTheDuckTest
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No I had a family member in the submarine service. Nobody knew where he was when he went to sea. They weren’t allowed to communicate much. No I don’t know what LSD 39 is but I did google it. And found this hullnumber.com/LSD-39
Kind of like a pick up truck for landing craft (those boats like in the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan.) Ballast tanks would lower the "bed" into the water so the boats could float out the back. I lost some hearing to the compressors that blew out the ballast tanks, but the VA won't acknowledge and provide hearing aids.
I’m sorry that you still suffer. This world has a lot to learn from someone like you who has seen a lot of what life has to offer. I’m happy you made it out of all the challenges in your life. You sound like a very wise person whose been through a lot. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that even those of us who can’t directly relate to your situation hear you, and feel your pain. Thanks for sharing your story ☺️
Well we are probably pretty close in age, depending on how old you were in 1977, I was 18 in Nov. We have some similarities in our stories as well. I was not in the service however because I am legally blind in one eye, have scoliosis and was pigeon toed as well as being flat footed. So basically I was a walking birth defect and almost got laughed out of the recruiting office. I also have ADD as a child and my grades sucked, I was lucky I made it out of High School with a 2.0 GPA. I also have had a number of jobs from insurance salesman, telemarketing etc .I finally went to a trade school to become an Optician and did that for about 35 years. I was for a short time an instructor at a for profit trade school . A little over a year ago this month I suffered a stroke while working as a manager for an optical company. I was let go and I am now on SDI because of cognitive issues. this year has been up and down for me I suffer from depression too as well as anxiety. a few things that help are #1 my Faith in the Lord #2 The support of my family #3 I count my blessings, when I take stock of how much I have been blessed with, I usually feel better. #4 Therapy. If you don't have a therapist here is a number of a great organization that can offer some free counseling advise and refer you to professionals in your area 1-855-382-5433 also here are some references that might help bit.ly/2yc8nk5 I hope these help. Prayers my friend.
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