I'm a dork in Europe who just got a job at a McDonald's restaurant in my area. For the last six months I've been treated for depression and anxiety with antidepressants and physical therapy. Both have been successful in managing suicidal tendencies and anxiety. I wake up, I get stuff done, I eat and sleep, but I'm not feeling well. Last time I saw my therapist I told him that I haven't always been depressed, but I'm not sure I'll ever be happy again.
I was a happy child until I started attending school. I had my first suicidal experiences during puberty. I've been bullied in every class I've ever attended and at a few workplaces as well and ever since I'm moody, angry, pessimistic, anxious and scared about, well... a lot of things. The closest I am to feeling well is while asleep, but for obvious reasons I can't be in bed all day. I'm 22, in spite of an autistic disorder I'm a largely functional individual. I have a life of opportunities ahead of me, but the way things have been over the last decade I just don't think I'll enjoy any of them. I wasn't happy last week. I wasn't happy the week before that. I wasn't happy last year or the year before that. I'm unhappy now. My therapist thinks I could have moments or periods of happiness, but he describes me as a depressive person, a dystopic person, somebody who'll always be quite... blue. Down. Unhappy. Vulnerable.
I've made peace with my status of health and I accept myself as I am for the time being. I've made peace with my past, realizing I have a life ahead of me to see different things, people, places that are nothing like the experiences I've had before. I look forward to working, accomplishing things and seeing things over the course of my future. But I'm not happy, nor do we know if I ever will be. How do I move forward in this? What do I tell the people who remember me smiling when I wasn't depressed? How do I responsibly manage myself while chronicly unhappy? What in the world do you make of a life like this?
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venusofthenorth
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Have you any interests, diversions or hobbies. Things you enjoy to do. I was very low when I lost my partner due to Parents who did not like the girl, you would think they were the ones going to get married to her.
I went dancing, I took lessons in Ballroom, Latin, Old Tyme etc, that opened up ways of meeting people especially girls and Women etc, and I gained confidence and moved on in life with a purpose.
I also did Youth Work and took qualifications in Youth and Community Work. They were my main interest in life and Passed my Examinations and ended up looking after Evening Classes and Youth Club.
Recently I took Power Boat qualifications and I also passed my Radio Courses. Another outlook where I was able to move on.
Live is how we make it and diversions in life can help your mood and expectations in life.
I am now sixty nine and I have my own Orchard of thirty fruit trees, in fact I have just come in to rest after pruning two Pear Trees. We need to be able to move on through life and have activities we enjoy and act as some form of reward
Part of life is finding enjoyment, and being happy, sometime this can be hard especially if we are depressed or anxious.
You need to consider what turns you on and get moving life is short and we look for things that prevents us thinking to deep on what is going on around us.
You take part in various activities, you meet people and even if it is just like a ship passing by sometimes we follow the wake.
No-one here can suggest what to do, one thing I found that made me positive in outlook was going to the Baths and swim my thirty five lengths, then showering and going dancing three nights a week, you are then increasing the Dopleen in your brain and that made me more positive
Consider what you would like to try and give the activity a chance to change your mood. and gain confidence in your life
I could also just kill myself. Good thing I didn't. I respect your experience, but telling me "no one can tell you how to make it better" wasn't why I wrote a post to reach out and ask for help. If I get happier, I do. If I don't, then I guess I won't. I hope to God you're not a therapist.
Sorry you are stuck, I do not believe your therapists diagnoses, that is Not helping you, you need someone like my lady, she encourages me, praises me, gives me love and support, as a bonus she makes me hot chocolate!!!
I lived the first 40 years of my life in confusion, and did not look to be happy. I started in therapy, one on one, then my therapist asked me to go into group. I was nervous but went any way, it was one of the best things I did in my life. I used to be content a lot before therapy, after therapy cleaned out a lot of crap from my thinking, learning to Like, Appreciate and Love myself, my life changed, and except when I am clinically depressed I am Happy. I get up and am ready to go. I do not live in the past, I leave it where it is, I enjoy good memory's. I live in the Moment, it is so freeing, I hardly ever think about the next day, week or year, I will deal with them when they get here. So young man, confront your therapist, or find another one, we go to therapy for help. One thing I have done since my teens is volunteer work, it gives me pleasure to learn and help others. Right now I do work at the library, and I enjoy it so much, it is a challenge, sometimes I get to help someone, and the people that work there are so nice. Try not to isolate yourself in your time off, find things that interest you and pursue them. I started to learn Hatha Yoga in my early 40's and eventually became an instructor!!! Yoga is a great way to help the body, and sort out the mind, I would recommend it to anyone, us older folks who cannot get on the floor anymore, we have chair yoga. Going for walks in nature is always good. There is a National Suicide Prevention Line here, do you have one where you are located, give them a try. The one in the US is 1-800-273-8255.
Please learn to like, love and accept yourself, it is very freeing and gives us strength.
I have lived thru a lot, I am 77 now, so happy and enjoying my life everyday, if I can do it so can you, it will take some work, but it is worth the pain and struggle it puts us thru. A great book that helped me was by Dr. Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled", It was like a bible to me, it was in the top 10 best sellers for 7 years here in the US. I know Amazon carry's it, new/used.
Keep writing to us we will offer love and support, I send you courage, strength, belief in self, love and hugs.....Sprinkle 1.....
As mentioned try Voluntary Work, you will be surprised what you learn, and how many like minded people you will meet. The first beginnings of friendships
As I may have mentioned, I'm autistic. I don't do "friendships", "going out" and "seeing people". I'm not saying I'm rejecting help, as I stated above, I'm worried I'm chronically depressed. Maybe it concerns you. Maybe it doesn't. If doing what everybody else does had helped, I wouldn't have written anything in the first place.
I have had depression on and of from my Teens, now I am sixty nine years old.
I have a PsA that affects multiple joints and also my skin is badly effected and painful.
Also I have a Congenital Short Term Memory disability where I am unable to remember most of what happened the day before. I also suffer a fused neck and spine and I have problems going outside, or rising to quickly from sitting. I suffer from a massive reduction in blood pressure that causes dizziness and falling down.
Basically we all need to try and live with our health problems and move on I am past displaying a badge explaining what is wrong with me.
My home is designed around appliances so I can get around, designed for disabled living. As I am Chronically Disabled
Yes I suffer Depression, although my life is very busy and inclusive even being Disabled does not stop me enjoying myself.
Even having a dog, keeps the mood positive, we go for walks and visit the beach and woods around us. Even just watching the birds on a bird table this time of year is an enjoyment.
Like you I still do voluntary work, I am sixty nine now, and we need to enjoy what is left of our lives.
BOB
Bullying is a bad thing obviously as I also experienced those bitter childhood!
Deep breathe is essential. If you can't stop sleeping, take Omega 3 fish oil!
1. You can move forward by taking exercise regularly.
2. Tell them you have got a depression, but just keep having social activities.
3. Meditate, listen to classical music, and hike mountains, and take medicines.
4. Lots of people do have similar situations even though every single person think their own self has the worst.
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