I’m pretty sure my manager at work has been manipulating me and trying to make me feel crazier than I am. I think tonight I’ve been able to let go of the emotion. I was on the verge of a panic attack all day. But I don’t want to go back to work. I just got a promotion, but this situation is making me suicidal and hopeless.
It’s so frustrating to not be able to process these things, and in turn i immediately go to feeling depressed, worthless, a burden, and suicidal.
Do any of you feel this way when put under extreme stress? How do you cope? I even tried coping ahead of today but it just was worse than I imagined.
I just need a digital hug. Some people to tell me I’m not alone. I feel like a bad person for being so sensitive.
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I can relate. Whether it’s something good or bad happening I process things the same way. I often tell myself the same story. It’s a perfect distraction, rather than be happy about a promotion we sabatage it. I do the same. Your not alone. I would like to say, be proud of this promotion but if your like me you will beat yourself up for not being able to feel good about this accomplishment. Your worthy of peace!! Your valuable and your accomplishments are admirable.
I also just wanted to share something someone shared with me a little bit ago regarding severe stress, anxiety and pressure at work that it helps to keep an actual diary/ journal and write whatever you can down when you have the stress as much as you can everyday they said something about doing this really significantly/dramatically cut the anxiety& bad stressful feelings down by a lot!
Funny you should mention that because I just started this new journal called Bullet journal that's been decreasing my anxiety a lot. Just by keeping track of things and writing it down and having it all in one place.
You know, I relate - ALOT. So, yeah, a big part of the digi-hug is a thank you for bringing this up.
You know, this sort of crap behavior is so often accepted as "just testing people," or some sort of "healthy competition" in the work world, when in fact it is really not healthy for the company at all, because it destroys the ability of every member of a team to be at their peak productivity, and in the end, the selfishness of the poop-slingers who will stop at nothing to try to best their co-workers by tearing them down wind up costing everyone, including the company, money.
Sooner or later people are going to wake up and see the truth in the fact that, bully politics in business or governance is bad form and will eventually bring the house of cards tumbling down.
If anyone is following and interested in an update... things have been fairly quiet... but I’m just waiting for the next explosion. BLAH. Sometimes the good times feel difficult because it’s just around the corner.
Lol another update. Apparently he’s taking a 2 week vacation during a vacation I already have planned next month and he’s going on vacation all next week.
So strange I don’t understand why this company is keeping him around.
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Keep Feeling Like there is Nothing to Live for 
Desperate for support. Feel very alone in this battle
(TW) Help with passive suicidal ideation
Don’t know how to handle this
Can you guys read and give me advice? 
