What now?

[sad_watermelon]

The long story of me and my ex boyfriend continues.

I used the opportunity of him texting me a lot today to ask him the 2 things that were really bothering me and I needed an answer.

1. If he would like to continue our friendship after I move away for university or he would like to start a new life. - I asked this because I honestly hope I will start a new life and would be able to keep him in it too, but just make him a lot less present, because for the moment I am giving him way too much attention.

His answer: as long as we act normally, we will be fine. I don't have bad feelings for you.

The answer wasn't what I was expecting, but anyways....

2. When we were dating he was saying that I mean a lot to him and he was happy to have me in his life so I asked him if he had changed his mind, because he's been very distant since we broke up (we just couldn't work out as a couple, he wanted too many things that I couldn't live with). For the record, the day I finally took the decision to end the relationship he said he was tired of loving me anyways so he mad it as he is ending it, just because I had hopes that we could work things out. After the breakup he was supportive to me, because I was crying (it hurts to realise everything), but he stopped reading the text in which I was explaining my feelings because "I was always writing the same things". He also said he's over the breakup after 3 days.

His answer to this question: I don't know.

I tried to explain to him that it's impossible to not know it, but he replied the same thing 'I don't know".

Now I'm hurt again. Crying again.

So many of you told me to end the friendship. But I don't understand why I can't do it.

[CLB1125]

Because you haven't accepted the fact yet it's over. You keep hoping he will change his mind. If you look deep inside your self you know. His vagueness in his answers says he doesn't want to come out and say it because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings or make you cry. He's trying to let you down easy.

[sad_watermelon in reply to CLB1125]

But I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I just want to understand why he got so distant. If he wanted to let me down, he wouldn't text me, he wouldn't ask me how I'm doing. At least that's what I think.

[b1b1b1 in reply to sad_watermelon]

I agree that he is trying to let you down easily without hurting your feelings. When someone says "I don't know" that is similar to saying "it doesn't matter to me one way or the other." By keeping the relationship alive as a "friendship" I think you are really hoping (perhaps subconsciously) that it will become a romantic relationship again. I would try to move on with your own life and let him make his decision. But, I think you need to realize that his decision may be to completely move on. Move on yourself and if he texts, answer very slowly or not at all. Don't initiate texts or ask him why the romantic relationship has ended. I think you already know the answer to that question.

[sad_watermelon in reply to b1b1b1]

But why would he initiate the chat then? Why would he care how I'm doing? Why would he be happy when texting me? Why would he call me? Why would he do all of this if he wants to let me down? I also don't want a romantic relationship with him. We aren't good as a couple. We were at the beginning, but then... We also don't want the same things in life. All I want is to know that he is not playing with me. If he doesn't want to talk to me, I would understand, but I should know. That's everything I'm asking for

[b1b1b1]

Try to let it go. You do not really need to know the answer to these questions. You need to stop asking these questions. It does not matter if he is playing with you or not. It doesn't matter why he initiates the chat or why he calls you. Just move on with your life. I think you are trying to come up with logical reasons to continue some level of involvement, by justifying these questions. Forget them and move on.