Broken

[edgarm7171993]

What I'm about to say might be hard to hear but I need you to hear it cause it is my truth and I want to express it fully and honestly.

Let me take you back to when I was a child and my mom at the time was dating a guy named Lance. Me and lance were in the living room rough housing and my mom was in her room. what I thought was fun turned into what would become the most traumatic experience in my life.

As we were playing around, lance bit me on the shoulder, it was painful and scary and so the first thing I thought to do was tell my mom what happened. I remember her eyes going wide in disbelief and after that I remember sitting in the middle of my room when my mom came in and beat me cause Lance said I was lying.

I remember feeling betrayed, hurt and my world came crashing down around me by the one person I thought I could trust and feel safe with.

I thought how could she do that to me?

How could she take someone's word over mine?

This pain is deep down inside me and all I want to do to heal the pain is cry and feel safe in her arms again as that child once felt.

[Hidden]

You’re not broken. You’re carrying around an experience that has had a profound effect on you. Completely normal. I have quite a lot of childhood personal stories like this.

I carried a great deal of my childhood into my adulthood.

I have no advice for moving it past it, I still have emotional scars, but I don’t let it hinder or define my life any more. Hopefully the same will happen to you to in time.

[edgarm7171993 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. You're right. I am not broken. That felt good to write...

I appreciate your kind words.

[sweetiepye]

I'm assuming there were some bite marks on you. How were you suppose to bite yourself on the shoulder ? Strange I think.

[Hidden]

It is very hard to move past something that was very hard on you. When something important happens, there are often scars that come with it. Try to put these things behind you and focus on the good things in your life. Have a great day!

[edgarm7171993 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Have a wonderful day

[Hidden in reply to edgarm7171993]

You too!

[Hidden]

That reminds me of my stepdad. He was a jerk who had no regard for my safety. When I used to have visitations with my mom, I always wanted to go home. The first Christmas that he was married to my bio mom, he refused to let me go home. What my stepdad didn't know what that I had a phone. I apparently accidentally called my parents and my parents heard every single word I was yelling at my stepdad. They sent the police and they did nothing. I can definitely relate. While your story is about physical, mine is all about mental.

[edgarm7171993 in reply to Hidden]

I've been there. My mom married a new guy and all the shit I went through with that was.. for lack of a better words.. crazy and stressful.

[crowningglory19]

I'm so sorry that happened. It seems to still have a grip on you, so it might be good to see a counselor. If you can't afford one, many churches have them free. Also, taking ginseng will help you release that sticky negative thought that loops around. Magnesium is great to calm the mind body and spirit and B Complex is great to heal fragile nerves. Breathe deep and release anger and bitterness, take baby steps in trusting again those you feel confident with, baby steps. You will get over this, it is sad when something wrong is done to any one esp children, but you are strong and don't let it rule or ruin you. <3

[edgarm7171993 in reply to crowningglory19]

Thank you for all the kind words and tips.

All I can say is I love you for that