Ummm.... Today: Well, I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Ummm.... Today

lexlynn profile image
16 Replies

Well, I thought that it would be a good idea to go for a walk I live in a pretty small town so it doesn't take long for me to get place to place and also I take my dog with me where ever I go. she is my companion and therapy dog. I am most comfortable when she is with me. I wanted to go to a thrift store in town just to see what new thing the store and would take my dog with me. I pretty familiar with the store had been there many times and love the volunteers. I'm in there for a little and wave at the normal's make my way to the shoes and I'm standing there just looking and the guy walks up to me and asks me how I'm doing? I say surviving I sarcastically say this. he doesn't really except that answer for some reason and just stands there kind of awkwardly staring at me. At this point, I'm uncomfortable and even a little scared so I then say well....I'm....good.......yeah....... awesome......I'm great. I am now looking at the shoes and giving the signal to end the conversation. He grabs my attention by mentioning that he noticed me walking around town with my dog. I responded yeah......Iv been walking a lot more with how nice the weather has been. I look back at the shoes trying to end the conversation again. He then says he's very observant and sees me walking with the dog like it was some big accomplishment he said it very proudly. I then said yeah...she makes me feel relaxed. He said to me yeah I recognize that problem. I was completely shocked I looked at him too so he could clarify what he meant and he said I recognize your problem because I'm observant. I look at him and just say yeah.. you're observant in the most nervous way possible. He squeezes my shoulder then walks away. I went to sad to annoyed to angry real quick walked out to go get lunch and the lady at cash register said my dog was cute and she had one just like her I didn't say anything and just left I felt a bad I didn't mean to be rude I just couldn't deal with people at that moment.

P.S, The guy who approached full-grown man me iv seen around town before and we wave but I don't even know his name but apparently, he knows a lot about me because of how observant he is. I'm also proud I kept this pg

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lexlynn profile image
lexlynn
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16 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

This is just normal social interaction and the guy was just being friendly, so what's the big deal? I'm sure after your reaction he won't 'bother' you again.

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn in reply tohypercat54

You did read the whole thing right he walked up to me asked my how I was doing wasn't happy with my response and told me I have a mental problem because I have a service dog and then touches my with out my permission than walks away. It might not be as big of a deal to most people but it was to me in that moment.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply tolexlynn

He didn't tell you that you had a mental problem just that he had seen you with your dog! How could he know it was a therapy dog? You reading far too much into this. It's much more likely he thought you had a mental problem by your reaction to him!

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn in reply tohypercat54

well she was wearing a vest and I'm a regular visitor the store he volunteers there he waves and never has once approached me. Its like a stranger walking up to you and saying you have a problem I know everything about it and that should make you great full. I would rather have someone walk up to me and ask whats wrong than just guess.I hate when people look at you like you just one thing people are so much more than that.

Sort of sounds like he’s a little on the creepy side. Creeps are all around us.. won’t be able to figure this out. I hate that this encounter affected you this way, but then again this is what we know to be anxiety. I have an invisible box I draw around my personal space, if someone crosses it, I back up.

While it’s easy for me to say don’t overthink it, process this in the way you need to. I just wouldn’t give it too much of my energy and highjack the rest of my day.

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn in reply to

thank you this really helped.

Lulububs profile image
Lulububs

I got to say i kind of agree with hypercat that he was probably thinking he was being friendly and letting u know in a weird kind of way he understood u and he appreciated where u were coming from.

Sometimes if we are in a state of anxiety we can read things into certain situations that just arent there....

I mean if he starts following u around it becomes strange but as u said u come from a small community u all know or at least prob see each other all time.

So i would just forget it , move on with ur day...

next time u see him make a point of just saying hello and see how he reacts this time.. as i think he was just saying hello but in a strange mayb bit over friendly way

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn in reply toLulububs

thanks this helped.

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn

I really should of written more detail I really just didn't want to make it to long did I mention I was carrying bras in the other hand while looking at shoes.

Lulububs profile image
Lulububs in reply tolexlynn

Hey

Sorry stepping in again....

I know u said u were holding a bra but that not his fault u were holding bras? He prob didnt even notice...

Men there not the best at reading situations or even noticing things like that... jesus i came home once and had had hair cut from down near my bum and had literally a crew cut and my husband took 2 Days to notice!!! I could wear a bra on head lol.

I think as i said before ... with anxiety and depression comes a sense we build a wall around ourselves and make a safe space and thats fine .. at same we have also got to realise

1) noone is in our brain and knows our situations aless they know u personally so they may act what we class as strange but to someone else it normal

2) also alot of people are very friendly and to us can come accross as over friendly.... but it not..

You have to sit back and think is this a normal situation and am i reading to much into this...

As if u do it can very much become a awkward situation...

I mean i am very much a feminist but at same time we dont want to demonise men where there literally to scared to say hello anymore of fear of upsetting us or doing something wrong or it will b a very sad unfriendly society of lonely women and lonely men

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

It bothers me that he touched you. That changes this from friendly to questionable .

enigmaticide profile image
enigmaticide

It's pretty clear that the man, in question, didn't have game, or even serviceable "bedside manner". You ALWAYS ask about the pet immediately after greeting the owner; rooky mistake on his part. Furthermore, he failed to read your body language, a.k.a. "reading the room". Fairly convinced that he's harmless enough, if that helps. I'm also presuming that he's attracted to you, a.k.a. motive for the approach; if that's the case, write it off as an awkward compliment and move on.

LilyAnnepuppy profile image
LilyAnnepuppy

You say he's a "full grown man." How old are you?

Lulububs profile image
Lulububs in reply toLilyAnnepuppy

Yes this is what i was wandering???

lexlynn profile image
lexlynn in reply toLilyAnnepuppy

I'm 18 he is somewhere is his 30s.

in reply tolexlynn

It sounds a bit more creepier to me that a random man in his thirties approached you, even broke into your personal space and touched you. While it may have been harmless, there might be time when it’s not.

You are quite young, be careful out there.

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