Really thinking about this, I don’t believe I ever have.....🤔
How Do You Explain Depression to Happ... - Anxiety and Depre...
How Do You Explain Depression to Happy People?
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UnderstandingMyPain
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41 Replies
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Are we talking Clinical or Situational Depression?
Situational depression makes me upset longer than those that don’t have it. Clinical depression puts me in an unfeeling black hole you can’t touch. I feel nothing.
Doaty💛
Thanks for sharing that! I’m talking about clinical. For example in my prior post about depression and relationships, how do you explain to your love one about your depression, how do you explain it that gives you support from your partner?
Ohhh. I don’t really expect to be able to get support as much as understanding. He watches over me. I share my symptoms and how far they’ve gone. If I can’t read we’re in trouble. So I guess knowing and sharing my symptoms with Big Mike are how he can understand me. I tell him what to expect and when he steps in and with what action. I don’t leave anything to chance bc he doesn’t have it.
I do this with my seizure types and lupus as well. He had to be told. It took years to fill in all the details though. I kind of explained as it happened - sometimes not so nice. 🤷♀️. He’s really good with it all now.
I try to just say the words in my head even if they might not make sense. He’s my hubs. He learned.
I often don’t make sense. 😊
No it makes a lot of sense. That’s great that you have someone that is willing to understand, that’s also makes a huge difference.
I truly believe that if a person has never experienced depression first hand or with a close family member it's almost impossible for them to understand depression.
That is what I’m thinking, so is it worth the explanation or leave it alone?
I say explain yourself as best as you can with everything. It’s your partner or best friend or family member. All of us need understanding.
Understanding from a family member or friend is important.
I would say that depends with who you want to share with. Is that person kind and understanding or do they tend to be judgemental? I have seen after trying to explain, the person sees me differently, maybe a little weak. Which depression is not a weakness.
That makes sense. So does it make a difference on how much you share?
It does for me with anyone I do share with. Some of the depression I dont even know how to put into words.
Very true!
Happy people do not understand. They think we are lucky to be alive and should enjoy each day of life. I have the total opposite feeling. I have probably lost many friends over the years. Nothing can fix that. They do not want to be around people who complain about life's troubles and they simply disappear without explanation. Even if you ask, they will often not answer. Or they say you are too negative. You can lie and just say you are fine and walk away before they ask questions. That does not really change anything.
True
No, I think people can understand. Personally, I've pretty much articulated this and I'm very good at getting people to understand.
It's getting them to 'relate' to me that seems nearly impossible. Most people (that have not experienced clinical depression) simply aren't willing to see it from my point of view.
But it's not fully impossible.
A typical example would be a Therapist of some kind (especially talking therapists) who has never had a bout of clinical depression. They can still be very intuitive and you will see them sat there, nodding away as you speak. I guess they need to be able to step into your shoes if they are ever going to be able to help...
It is really hard time o explain, especially if they have never experienced it.
The best way I’ve heard it explained is it is an actual “chemical imbalance” at that time of depression.
That’s a good way to explain it.... it is something hard to explain because depression is connected to a negative event something made someone feel that way internally , and to take the time to explain that is hard
Why do you have to explain it? If you do I would say to remember the most upset that you ever were and pretend that that's forever and there you go, depression.
UnderstandingMyPain• in reply to
That’s good too! I was listening to a podcast and the title was how to explain depression to happy ppl. I thought that was interesting bc I never thought to explain a mental illness to anyone. It never crossed my mind to do so, bc I thought what would be beneficial. I think it leaves ppl who haven’t experienced it first hand whether it is themselves or by a loved one they will never understand
2resistant• in reply to
There is a HUGE difference! When dealing with 'clinical' depression, you feel ill and it is not difficult to notice that something isn't quite right. Either no particular reason or the opposite - EVERYTHING appears wrong with the world and/or the life you are living.
When feeling 'sad' or mourning a loss of some kind, it starts with a very real reason to feel down. Of course, what can complicate matters is when this then 'leads' to clinical depression that just won't budge. Then perhaps you might hang on to that original reason, becoming convinced that is why you feel how you do. This 'could' be because somehow you are pre-disposed to clinical depression.
This is a pretty non-exact subject!
• in reply to2resistant
Well mine is the latter, situational so it does seem to me like getting upset about something and never going away. I can't describe clinical because I don't have it.
Some people may never understand but these same people need to stop saying things such as, get over it, its life, smile, how to make those individuals understand is very difficult.
I completely agree. That’s where it’s not worth it
Yes!!
Sooo agree.. they just don’t GET it.. the be positive, let’s name some things you should be grateful for, you have people that LOVE you.. I KNOW all of that crap... when I’m Depressed I’m NOT in a place to do that stuff.. I know it knowledge wise
Exactly and if someone was “at that place” that you talk about, the diagnoses of depression would be irrelevant
Exactly..
Indeed! Self-righteous people with a huge ego! If they can 'snap outa it', then so can you!
Agreed
For some time after my first divorce I felt lost, not really understanding or knowing how it all fell apart. Or not accepting, either way I fell out. A half-assed suicide attempt and of course my family - thank goodness small, mom, dad and younger brother (two yrs.) - had no idea what to do. Since it was a drug OD (Quaaludes, the good ones, Lemmon 714) I had to be hospitalized to pump my stomach. Luckily I slept through all that mess. Then a week long "therapy" immersion. They talked about shtuff I already knew but I had to go through the motions. I felt so much like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"; one of my all-time favorite movies, esp. after my problems cropped up it became a "Dummies Guide to Mental Health Lockup" type of relationship. I've thought of...need to look into the idea of a chat room, maybe scrolling chat, I don't know yet. And the name "Over the Cuckoo's Nest" came to mind. Only loonies allowed. Which means we're all in regardless. If you have a mental problem, issue, or just feeling bad then you're a member. We're doing that now anyway so like I say, I don't know. A rolling chat would require people to be at a computer to read and contribute so there's that issue. Anyway the name (I think I'm in a manic phase, already been shopping today went outside! Another story...) would of course be a take-off on "...Cuckoo's Nest" and the song "Over the Rainbow" which brings up memories of Wizard of Oz. Talk about weirdness, how it all ties together quite nicely in my mind.
Yeah, it's manic. Had to go back to see what the post was. Geez what a long-winded rant about nothing. Of course they told their brothers and sisters, that's how a family unit works. Family doesn't mean immediate, it means everyone related and then some. I just went my own way and kept to myself. My dad asked me once (he had PTSD and didn't know it) why I was depressed, what was I depressed about. The divorce would surely make one down for a while but then it'd wear off. I dunno, I was different; it didn't wear off so easy. Over time sure, but climbing out of that hole was a long, difficult process. But I did for awhile. Until the next one I fell into...Karma being a, well you know. Up and down. Till down becomes the new norm.
UnderstandingMyPain• in reply to
You definitely painted a vivid picture with your reply!! I gotta say I always look forward to your responses bc they are real, you are definitely sharing what your thinking, doesn’t bother me one bit bc I have my moments when I rant and go off into something else (like just now lol) but anyways what I’m saying, I guarantee your post is going to resonate with others on here! Thanks for always sharing your mind!
If someone lives with me I have to explain. Everyone else can kick rocks.
😂 love the kick rocks part!!! Yessss
Here are two ways. One is to go for a drive in the countryside on a bleak, dark, dull day during the winter. There should be no snow on the ground and no sun. Nothing to brighten or lighten up the day. Everything looks gray and muddy and the clouds feel close to the earth. During this somber drive, you realize that every day is like this. Imagine that you have never seen springtime or if you did you can’t remember or imagine it. No such thing as green grass, green trees, no flowers, no color. Nothing to hope for. You have never heard of color. You know there can never be a change in the landscape. Everything is flat, dull, and endless. No respite from this scenery.
The other way to depict depression is to imagine you are going to a banquet. Think of all your favorite foods and how they will be served to you and what a wonderful time you will have getting to taste each delicious morsel. How excited and happy you feel to anticipate the meal! Then a couple minutes before you sit down to eat you receive the news that your best friend has died unexpectedly. It was a terrible death and you didn’t get to say goodbye. You just missed seeing them. They were going to be at the banquet, too. Now, you have to try to eat without them. Does the food still taste so good? Do you still have an appetite? This is what depression feels like all the time. Life is right before you but how can you partake of it when your insides are so torn?
Both these scenarios are not original with me. They were told to me by people trying to figure out how it must be like to be me. They came about in conversation. Hope this helps someone.
Oh wow good way to share it! This makes absolute sense. Great depiction!!
Very good way of describing it !
Until someone walks n my shoes, they will never understand my struggle 😔😔😔
😔 yeah it’s a hard thing to deal with daily. I don’t battle with depression but anxiety yes! I’ve gotten better with handling mine but as you sure know there are days when It’s harder than some!
Definitely!!!! The worst part, I know mine come out of no where 😔😔😔
Today is a little hard.
Aw man I’m sorry about today. It is hard. Especially if your a work or you have to be out and about and have to deal with the inner conflict/pain
Yea, I'm pushing my way at work, however gettn off now but started out ok, then all of a sudden 😔😔
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