how do people relax?

[Mamacita500]

I find it really difficult to relax. Has anyone lost access to their inner monologue?

I used to have an inner monologue and now I can’t hear it and I don’t find it easy to relax or have fun.

[Sunrisetabby]

I suffered from anhadonia for a long time, and still find relaxation incredibly difficult. I am a little confused what you mean though about having lost access to your inner monologue. For me, my inner monologue is always going, never satisfied, always disappointed with me. I listened to an interesting podcast discussion yesterday about peer research articles about the benefits of natural light during the day and total darkness during the night. Although complementary both the light and darkness are essential for health. Like many, I seem unable to turn off and part of my problem is that I struggle with focus and rarely and fully runed on, despite an ADHD diagnosis and too many medications. For me, relaxation means satisfaction that I have accomplished something during the and warm weighted sheets in a cold and dark bedroom where I can quickly turn off and sleep and be fully relaxed. Similarly, and counter intuitively very cold showers are also very helpful for relaxing. By fully turning on your nervous system when it is shocked by the cold when you leave the cold water you are calm and relaxed. Less masochistic alternative is progressive muscle relaxation - recommended to me by several doctors and therapists. What progressive muscle relaxation has you do is intentionally put tension individually and then relax sequentially on each muscle in the bottom. Lastly, starting at the wall is another good technique as of reading a boring book. Relaxation should be boring, nonfocus, no worries. As you have have noticed by now, I am a complete failure still in relaxation, but I am still utilizing these techniques and trying and trying.

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[LoveforAll41]

Hola Mamacita, I am sorry that you aren't having any fun 😥

I usually find when I have lost interest in things that I am feeling bad about myself. I remind myself that I have worth as a human being even if I don't feel like I am reaching my potential and do stuff just for fun. Playing basketball or golf are not really productive for me, I am not going to be professional, but heck, I have as much fun or more than anyone. I like to bake weird things sometimes, listen to audiobooks and podcasts... and work on school when I am feeling motivated.

As for the inner dialogue I am not sure either... I have heard that not everybody has one. Are there other details you have on that?

[Mamacita500 in reply to LoveforAll41]

thanks for your reply it helped me alot. About the monologue..i used to have one but it went away.