How much do people pay attention to you?

[EricJones]

I'm worried about me hearing the background sounds and people picking up on the fact that I have a radar on them. I'm wondering if people pay attention to these things or not, if people pay attention to me. If you could respond that would be great thanks.

[litethatnevergoesout]

how many people pay attention to you? 0. none. no one at all whatsoever.

how many people pay attention to what things? you and your radar? you need professional help to solve this properly Eric Jones. also, you should know staring people up and down constantly is not okay.

“...the place i'm at now only deal with psychiatrist, recovery coach CPS and therapist.” - that’s a quote from you. you said that. make an appointment with all of them and go from there. you’re worried, very understandable.

[Hidden in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

There you go EricJones, the best advice I've read on here. I've read dozens of replies & members giving friendly advice based on their experiences. You do need professional help, we are here to stand with you should you really need it. Peace. Navar

[EricJones in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

i dont stare people up and down constantly....i hyper focus on them, theres a difference

[hypercat54 in reply to EricJones]

Hyper focussing on others is also intrusive. I agree with the others that you really need professional help.

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

yes i know i need professional help...i come on this website because its taking awhile to get the help i need

[Hidden in reply to EricJones]

Alright understood. Until then hang in there.

[EricJones]

can you explain this further "Hi. It is probably real but by the time you can prove it, it will have passed and no one will understand."

[EricJones]

not sure what to say to this...i just know that i have a serious fear of someone paying attention to my body language that i dont like and am trying to get rid of the feaar

[EricJones]

what are we talking about? Are we talking about " I'm wondering if people pay attention to these things or not, if people pay attention to me."

[EricJones]

are you apologizing or are you being combative?

[Sh4d0w]

People don't notice.

[EricJones in reply to Sh4d0w]

They don't notice me.. like they don't notice if I'm noticing them?

[Hidden in reply to EricJones]

No they don't notice you, but they're more apt too if you put your radar on them. If you walk into the room, look at them ONCE , acknowledge them Once and with all your ability try to follow the conversation. Maybe your radar will stay silent?

[EricJones in reply to Hidden]

well then theres the background sounds i hear that come from other people that keeps me focused on people...if i can ignore their movements i cant ignore the sounds, if i can ignore the sounds (which i cant) then theres their body movements

[Sh4d0w in reply to EricJones]

Wearing headphones could help with reducing auditory overwhelm. I get a bit overwhelmed if there's a lot of different sounds all at once (slight autism thing). I am not sure what your struggling with but maybe this is something you can work with as well. I was just thinking that ignoring thoughts and impulses that cause distress might help? Meditations of various sorts help focus or impulse control. For instance, starring at a candle without blinking and feeling the burn, refusing the impulse to blink is one such. If you can do this you have better control over other impulses. There so many kinds of meditations and so many ways we can master our minds. I'm always looking for ways that work with and on my specific challenges. If you find something helpful, I'd love to know what you've discovered

[Teaching]

People are busy with lots of things going on so I'll say no one is paying attention to you.

[EricJones in reply to Teaching]

So they arent paying attention to my body language?

[Teaching in reply to EricJones]

They are not

[Mohammad-341]

People don't pay attention to others now a days. They are more busy with mobile than u

[MaggieSylvie]

Eric, if you're worried about people wondering about your body language, what body language are you displaying?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

oh idk...just slow moving body language (arms and legs) , my head jerks back in response to movements like a knee-jerk reaction...

[MaggieSylvie]

That's very calming, you know, not particularly weird. But then the sudden movements of others startles you, and your head jerks back, similarly to how I and others react to sudden noises.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yeah...will they be noticed?

[MaggieSylvie]

Not particularly, and if it is the same people time and time again, they will be used to you, but this question gets to be a bit like the funfare mirrors - are you looking at me looking at you looking at me ....Don't worry; be happy; you are ok.

[Nothing_but_books]

Radar? Oh ya, "beep-beep-beep". 📡 Me too. It's not them, it's me. I worry what people think. I know it's my insecurity, but how to stop?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Probably smile and forget it.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Nothing_but_books]

My mother used to tell me "No-one's looking at you!" That was a comfort, if true, and then I started to think "Why aren't they looking at me?!" You can't win.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i'd be fine if they didnt look at me...i mean if they deliberately tried not to look at me, then i'd have some trouble with that, but i dont want to be looked at, at the wrong times (when a person is not talking to me)

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

You can't control whether people are looking at you or not. People glance round, but that's not looking. People might notice you and then turn away; they might stare at you - that is definitely looking with a capital L and it is rude. You could hide your face - wear a hat with a wide brim if that's your style; that would hide part of your face and it would stop you seeing anyone looking at you, but if they want to look, they will. How do other people respond when you look at them?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i dont really look at people except the person speaking..i dont want it to get weird and i dont want them thinking i'm gawking at them.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Well, if you're not gawking at them, they won't think you are.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

think i am what? looking at them?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

gawking at them.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i dont know how people respond, because i never look at them unless they're talking...do you think people can notice me paying attention to them, if i'm eyes arent on them?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

No, I don't think people can notice you paying attention to them if your eyes aren't on them. Having your eyes on them doesn't even mean you are paying attention to them. Your mind might be elsewhere.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

So people can never tell, ever?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I won't say they can never tell ever - only if they were watching you closely, which a member of the public is unlikely to do.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

so you mean only abnormal people do that?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I wouldn't go so far as to say abnormal. Someone might be interested in you - it happens. Quite normal people might be interested, but in general people don't start to watch random people.

[Sh4d0w in reply to EricJones]

People may notice everything, or they may be oblivious. The thing is, they don't care. Sometimes whatever they notice registers in their minds for a half second and then something else grabs their attention. Goldfish.. we are all goldfish my friend.

[Adlon57 in reply to Sh4d0w]

That is the AI effect, have 'taught' us like that, we are all "Goldfish" we CANNOT do anything about it, even if we wanted to, a push button, swish society, AI have us by the neck, wallet, credit card, debit card, [whatever you hold most precious😣] no security, no privacy, no choice🤫

[Nothing_but_books in reply to MaggieSylvie]

🤣😆

[EricJones in reply to Nothing_but_books]

whats so funny?

[Nothing_but_books in reply to EricJones]

Your question is phrased rudely, we try to be nice to each other here.

I was responding to Maggie's comment.

[EricJones in reply to Nothing_but_books]

i dont think it was that rude...its was a genuine question

[Nothing_but_books in reply to EricJones]

Okay, thanks.

[MaggieSylvie]

Could it be that you have a super-power?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Is that question directly at me? Lol

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Yes. I have thought it a few times.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

are you serious or just clowning me?

[MaggieSylvie]

Honestly, Eric, A bit of both because treating your so-called problem like it's actually a super-power would give you a positive spin on it, that you might find helpful.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i want to hide my hyper vigilance..not shed light on it

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

It's your secret, isn't it? You don't have to share.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i'm not quite sure what you mean...

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Your hypervigilance as a superpower. Your secret.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

its a curse not a triumph...no i dont consider it to be helpful in any way

[MaggieSylvie]

Like people with supernatural powers - they too consider them a curse.